Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog

 

grief into give

(in Serbian it’s “jad into daj”, T.N.)

 

I’m observing through symmetry

 

I’m observing how words are emerging from observing

 

I’m observing and I believe that observing is innocent

 

innocence of an observer

 

innocence of observing

 

observing of innocence

 

more and more I feel the unity of trinity

 

more and more I also feel the sea and beauty of the path

 

sea of the path-sea of times-so many times 

some phrases are dear to me. one of them is also I told You so many times

(in Serbian this phrase is literally translated sounds like I told You a sea of times. “times” and “path” in case form are

also the same in Serbian, which is the connection with previous blessing; T.N.)

 

I told You so many times who am I

 

You don’t give a fuck

 

You go Your way

 

my stomach is painful

 

for everything in this world I am the greatest culprit

 

the only path is innocence

 

the only state is love

 

the bud of the one

 

professions are drawers

 

professionals are drawerers

 

I’m disgusted with drawerers and drawer-like knowledge

 

I love every being

 

same goes for the being of a drawerer but not the drawerer himself

 

I love dancing and not a single drawer

 

I and one – yes

 

grief and resentment – no

 

I’m exhausted now. I’m going outside

 

absolution redemption. absolution redemption. absolution redemption…

 

I got goose bumps all over the moment I got outside

 

I swear on my I-Am that I am

 

inhale me and You will be

 

words don’t die

 

 

a

l

o

n

e

g

o

a l o n e g o d o g e n o l a

o

g

e

n

o

l

a

 

 

 

 

I rejoice when a pigeon doesn’t fly away in front of my feet

 

a moment ago my stomach started hurting and I wanted to start writing about it

 

now it’s not hurting even though it’s been bothering me last three days

 

problems with my stomach last four months already

 

first time I had troubles with my stomach in 1993 while

I was walking and swimming across the Danube in Hungary

 

I reduced coffee and the troubles stopped

 

it repeated several times

 

I would always reduce coffee or I wouldn’t

drink it for a while and my stomach would calm down

 

now it’s lasting for over a hundred days

 

I hope it will stop

 

last night I felt really powerless

 

I was praying to God to help me

 

I’m writing all of this in order to write at all

 

to witness the beauty itself

 

two boys are throwing stones into the lake

 

it was raining last night and it cooled the air

 

there are no swimmers on the lake

 

I’m walking slowly – it makes me feel good

 

I’m holding my hand over the belly – it makes me feel good

 

I’m writing about feeling good – it makes me feel good

 

writing is the very process of writing

 

writing is a work of writing

 

writing of dear sentences

Hesse says that Walser is writing dear sentences

 

sentences don’t want to say anything they just want to be dear

 

I fell think love

 

write draw walk

happiness

 

I’m drawing walking with writing

 

I’m walking writing with drawing

 

I’m writing drawing with walking

 

I’m reading with pleasure a text about Robert Walser

 

I’m walking and writing while dozing

 

I’m dozing and walking while writing

 

I’m writing and dozing while walking

 

 

 i am god

he unbuttoned his shirt

to the evening sun

my buddy is walking

hundredth poem i am god

 

sand by the road has made me feel gentle

 

I love the smell of sand

 

it smells of summer river swimming

 

I was sitting for few minutes on the slope

in the grass and taking photos of little white flowers

 

huddled on that tiny piece of Earth I saw the whole Cosmos

 

Cosmos of the smallest is the same as the Cosmos of the biggest

 

one is the Cosmos

 

I love the Cosmos more and more

 

I’m lying on the warm pebbles in the Cosmos of enjoyment

 

warm sun rays are caressing my back

 

wind is giving me the goose bumps of happiness

one is the happiness

 

the wind is heating up over my skin and it makes me burn in the flames of happiness

happiness is always happiness of all beings

 

murmur of waves is reminding me of the cosmogony of repetition

 

I turned on my back

 

warm pebbles are making my nape warm

 

I’m watching the sky

 

I’m sorry that I haven’t spent more time in life lying on the ground and watching the sky

 

the sky is light blue and mottled with white clouds

 

the biggest cloud is above me

 

it’s grey and it overshadowed the sun

 

cooled wind makes me enjoy even more

 

I’m disappearing from beauty

 

enjoyment is the greatest job

 

enjoyment liberates

 

enjoyment is the experience of paradise

 

enjoy – You’re always with me

 

enjoy – You’re Cosmos

 

enjoy – You’re love

 

deepest oath is in enjoyment

 

most beautiful loyalty is through enjoyment

 

enjoyment is feeling joy of the life itself

 

I’m lying in the sun – I’m softly walking over the warm beaches of Your heart

 

 

 

i am god

nine year old vidan

and thirteen year old muja

who are scything the grass

for a horse 

hundred and first poem i am god

 

yesterday in the dusk I met nine year old Vidan

 

thirteen year old Muja his brother I already know

 

we are scything the grass for a horse – Muja said

 

they are beautiful

 

cleaver

 

they don’t can’t read because they don’t go to school

 

they are wonderful like a swoop of water in the air

 

Muja is constantly doing something

 

collecting cartons from garbage bins

 

yesterday he was scything next to the road to Obrenovac

 

Vidan was sitting on the concrete plate

 

cart was on the other side of the road

 

they are carrying over the grass in their hands because the road has metal fences

 

it’s very dangerous there because cars are speeding on the open road

 

now I know several Gypsies on Padina

 

they are beautiful

 

all of them are very clever

 

lively

 

cheerful

 

little sparrows

 

teddies

 

deeply good

 

young gentlemen surrounded by those who reject them

 

little lizards of a better world without violence

 

you’re going to Ada – Vidan asked me

 

when I came back from the lake they were still there

 

boys in the landscape

 

I asked them if they are going for a swim they said no

 

sun was still shining

 

sun in Muja and Vidan

 

the sun of lasting

 

persistence through goodness

ever since God created the world of persistence that’s since when same goodness lasts 

 

 

a moment ago I took a photo on the YouTube of

Mario Balotelli’s celebration of scoring the second goal

 

a master piece of art

 

an icon of the 21^st century

 

a monument to freedom

 

Balotelli is only twenty two years old

 

an adopted child

 

sickly child

 

I never saw something like that in sport

 

I’m thinking of Jessie Owens in 1936 on the Olympic Games in Berlin

 

such power and such tranquillity after a huge explosion

 

a bomb with which he scored the second goal

 

revenge transformed into a reminder

 

a primer of misery of racism

 

remembrance of all crimes which were made and are still done by white people

 

strength which bares all violence and transforms it into nonviolence

 

a millionth split of a second in which the director of the transmission caught all of that

 

how sad are Robert Mapplethorpe’s

photos now in comparison with this Balotelli’s act

 

a photo just an evidence of this

tremendously important moment that happened last night

 

all of a sudden

 

unexpectedly

 

a master piece of art created where nobody expects

 

in sports and football which I find more and more disgusting because of wealth

 

but Balotelli’s halted strength took my breath away

 

I felt huge excitement

 

admiration for every child which moves the Cosmos

 

for all younglings that are making the world more beautiful

 

for taming which transforms freedom into the very grace

 

now I’m lying on the warm pebbles and watching the sky

 

I’m calm

 

happy

 

a millionth split of a second is so eternal

 

speed is that indescribable slowness

 

only fathomlessness is ascertainable

 

 

summer relish

 

of figs

 

peaches

 

bodies while sweating and surrendering

 

relish of the exposed ones

 

relish of the loners

 

this world is ruled by militarism and motherhood

 

few days ago I saw inauspicious scene of the state violence

 

I’d rather go on about relish

 

about beloved Robert Walser

 

splendour of admiration

 

exhaustion after swimming

 

thirst

 

hunger

 

deep-space unreasonableness

 

cosmic insouciance

 

long days

 

warm nights

 

laundry that gets immediately dry

 

grapevine which absorbs sunlight

 

goodness which spills all over all beings

 

tender typing on the keyboard

 

constant hymn of non-violence

 

endless oath through love

 

Godly sex

 

flowers and fruits

 

flowers and vegetables

 

flowers of harmlessness

 

whenever I say flower I said everything

 

You are my flower

 

You are my flowers

 

You are my rose

 

You are my path

June is gone again