Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog
You
are
416909
bud
BUDDING
after the midday love bells silence lake coldness croaking of the crows take-off of the pigeons towards the frosting same walkers on the lake I’m rubbing my nose in order to warm it up better dressed than yesterday I’m walking more relaxed I’m rubbing my nose again there is no wind hence only coldness can be felt I feel the coldness in my shoulders the coldness is cold so it’s getting into the bones I’m surrounded by the shades of white the word generous is warming me up in Kirovljeva street somebody is crossing the street towards me Anja Covic you look like Robert de Nero – said Anja when written culture prevailed the oral culture the oral culture was accusing the written culture for being slutty now when media culture is prevailing the written culture the written culture is accusing the media culture for being slutty when media culture prevails the mind culture the media culture will be accusing the mind culture for being slutty constant plunder if I wasn’t the one I am I would have been You if I wasn’t singing the way I’m singing I would have been singing like You if I wasn’t creating the way I’m creating I would have been creating like You if I wasn’t walking the way I’m walking I would have been walking like You if I wasn’t dedicated to myself-God I would be dedicated to You if I wasn’t dedicated to my work-Bud of All Beings I would be dedicated to Your work I drank tea I’m drinking a bit of brandy aivar margarine and bread are waiting for me l i v e
BRAVE MAN TO THE BRAVE WOMAN
thirty third day of the year the bells of midday love are ringing and I’m just leaving now lake – I’m coming fine sleet pervades the air above the lake I’m walking pure mysticism mysticism of walking I’m walking the art of walking the walking of walking I circled the lake I’m going to the Nest tiny snow is falling I climbed to the Pozeska Street I slowed down from time to time I’m closing my eyes I’m wandering through pleasure I’m thinking of harmony h a r m o n y h a r m o n y h a r m o n y h a r m o n y h a r m o n y h a r m o n y h a r m o n y I’m rejoicing the blessings that are waiting for me at the desk light birds cane tendons of the neck mystical light of the screen on which I’m writing mystical light of the screen on which I’m writing somewhere somebody brave man to the brave woman brave woman to the brave man mysticism of the mystical beauty god’s plainness
WALKING FROM ONE TO THE OTHER MAIL FOR YOUR TOUCHING WORDS
I’d love to be able to send you the money more often. The reason is that the hour of my work is paid minimally of what can be paid according to the laws of this state and I do work hard dirty and difficult job with only four days of in a month. But I am doing my best to be even better. I stopped eating meat and I quit smoking. The reason behind it is not to care for my own health but to care for others. I’ll do my best not to spend all the money and to send it to you soon. Be healthy. this morning’s first e-mail I live and I work from the money other people give me the fairest way for me it helps me dedicate myself to creating singing and walking that is a small quantity of money small quantity great love everyone that is giving me will get sometimes I worry because I have just enough money it seems it’s going to be even less of it it upsets me scares me but there is also salvific but consider the lilies of the fields gives me back the strength and joy the eros of creating to the other consciousness of creating to all beings conscience of singing to the rejected when I read first e-mail I decided to buy a book about Isaac Newton actually because I don’t have money for it the words in the second e-mail have given me the strength because I felt the awakened conscience I went downtown to meet up with Jelena Jelena bought me a book My Life by Lou Andreas-Salome the cost of Lou Andreas-Salome was like my food for two days Newton for four days Billie Holiday just singing Lou Isaac Billie there is money the money for all beings love is the money – money is love I don’t have to add for my share for February. I will see if I can somehow gather it by the end of the month. I’m really in *** situation. It would be the fairest, regardless of my trying to keep on giving you the money, to change the name of the Bud with my name – there is no point like this I don’t deserve it (I wasn’t giving enough so far as it is). this morning’s second e-mail
THAT’S WHAT I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT LAST NIGHT
said in numbers one two two three three three four four four four five five five five five six six six six six six seven seven seven seven seven seven seven eight eight eight eight eight eight eight eight nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten eleven eleven eleven eleven eleven eleven eleven eleven eleven eleven eleven in other words 1 2 2 3 3 3 4 4 4 4 5 5 5 5 5 6 6 6 6 6 6 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 and then this beauty 1 + 2 +3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 7 + 8 + 9 = 45 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 7 + 8 + 9 + 10 = 55 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 7 + 8 + 9 + 10 + 11 = 66 I hope this will be new sixty six pictures Numbers – Tree of Life – thirty six year after – Leaves – Tree of Life I hope I’ll start doing them in month or two I am the love to all beings I am the money of all beings
DRUNKENNESS BY CREATING
forty four days to the beginning of writing the fourth part of the book I am You are Him that captivates me these days I was writing I am You are Him every day thirty years ago I was writing Kaja every day twenty years ago I was writing I Name every day ten years ago I’m beginning to write I am You are I in forty four days on the day of spring origin of picture origin of word the spring of I the bud of now I of spring I of a bud I of every I I of the I itself I singing of the I I God I serving the beauty living through beauty innocence of writing loyalty of living I am nothing which confirms everything I am nothing God’s poem I love-kiss the I of every being hey days hey years joy of the body that radiates within these words a moment within this moment in this moment I’m changing the name of the third book I Name into Mile I am You are Him Kaja Mile I am You are I share my joy with somebody touch 1 1 1 caress 1 1 1 kiss 1 1 1 1 1
WALKER’S SYNDICATE
I’m getting going that’s the most important everything else joins rushes towards the joining herds of ideas are surviving on the edges shepherd stick dog donkey soil sky everything is good beautiful to everything child’s heart in the chest joy of the links I’m going that’s even more important they are surrendering to each other through freedom a shepherd to a stick a stick to a dog a dog to a donkey soil to the sky goodness to beauty child’s heart to the mind of existence going everything is going everything is good to everything beautiful is beautiful to everything and I that is actually me
PLEASE SERIES
today I’ve smelled the grass scent for the first time this year violets are blooming in spring – sais one blooming woman this morning I was enjoying the Fibonacci series 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584... each consecutive number is the sum of the previous two when any of the numbers from Fibonacci series is divided by the previous number we get 1.618. the phi number. the number of the golden ratio palms that caress palms love from the belly embrace of the sides mental beauty everything light light of everything in the heart of every being I said bread without second thoughts through the colour of beetroot through plentiful hips being imbued with goodness being baptised with beauty number embraces word word love-kisses number everything is here just You are not around buy us the book Great Mathematicians by Ranko Risojevic the beauty of words is surrendering to the goodness of numbers the beauty of numbers is surrendering to the goodness of music the beauty of music is surrendering to the goodness of walking the beauty of walking is surrendering to the goodness of creating hit it mama the goodness of anything celebrates the beauty of everything the goodness of grass celebrates the beauty of violets the goodness of computers celebrates every being on the internet the goodness of the penis head celebrates the beauty of clitoris hit peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace peace
PUSSY BIRD
I’ve always loved shades overflow overflow by overflow supervention one-shade-ness imperceptible change in the end changes me obvious beauty mesmerises right away minimalism loyalty of loyalty gentle to oneself to bare – not to hurt I’m leaving shading I’m walking walking is a type of shading step by step oncoming of the distance presence of the presence presence of the otherworldly word word of the word word of a word to the words irresistible modesty I’m enjoying the writing I’m surfing through the shades I’m waving the sameness with the same waves I’m shading with caressing pleasure through budding God
BYE BYE BY BYE BYE
word by word number by number picture by picture step by step one by one touch by touch joy by joy blessing by blessing sip by sip bite by bite girl by girl boy by boy grammar by grammar mathematics by mathematics freedom by freedom kiss by kiss prayer by prayer oath by oath beauty by beauty goodness by goodness analogy by analogy being by being dinar by dinar rhythm by rhythm thread by thread I by I a by a and by and that too by that too poem by poem bud by bud Bud of All Beings God
WHITE LUNCH
couple of months ago I invited Maja Klisinski to lunch a month ago Maja said she will make lunch for me white lunch from all sorts of white foodstuff and different white things here this is that day for the white lunch Maja is making it merrily hey whiteys have a good appetite Maja’s friend Sanja just sent this text message Maja also wrote an ode to the white whether it was white or it will be white whiteness is white it’s whitening with whiteness of white whether the white is pain or if the white hurts whiteness is getting white through pain reveals its whiteness whitening through kiss whether she ghost was white or that the pulse of a soul is white whiteness will be whitening make it white through the white of the eye and of the white of an egg white on the white-magnificent white-ball of whiteness through the white-pebble of whitishness through the cloud of white-bodiment through the white membrane through the white-beautiful obelisk whiteness will be whitening love-kissing everything with the whiteness of a blessing of the white of the whiteness while making the white lunch Maja is sipping white brandy I’m drinking white wine white lunch is dedicated to You my he friend which I’m constantly thinking of white lunch is dedicated to You my she friend which I’m constantly love-kissing white lunch is dedicated to You my Goddess which I’m married to always and forever white lunch white fucking whiteness is without a censorship Maja’s white lunch consists of white bouquet of white flowers tied with white thread white candle and white spark plugs white Socrates of Athens made out of stone white plates. white dishes and white cutlery white clothes we are going to wear at the white lunch at this moment Maja is serving cone shaped white rice on a white plastic plate on the white tablecloth she already set white delicatessens middle of white bread balls white cheeses and cream from Zlatibor white radishes. white onion rings and garlic cloves white pasta in white sauce white celery in white sour-cream white cauliflower with white mayonnaise and white horseradish white popcorns and white expanded rice white gurabias. white raffaello balls. white Turkish delights white mints and white sugar cubes white pears. white apples. rings of white bananas in white whipped cream with white vanilla sugar and white coconut flour with music of Eric Satie who was eating just white food we are beginning the white lunch in fifteen minutes my he friend she friend and Goddess by Maja Klisinski
EIGHTY EIGHT MINUTES
12:14 pm poignancy of time freedom of a moment 2:20 pm six minutes are gone forever 2:32 pm I drew today’s blue rose another twelve minutes are gone irretrievably love is one space twines into time time opens up to eternity singing to the infinity conscience of young people is inexhaustible 2:47 pm I’m dancing in all beings with the brain unity immortality glands of love in every girl juices of freedom in every boy dawn heart pulsing wedding loves and freedoms street I’m a bastard innocence of rebellion ravishing loyalty 3:20 pm fuck me Universe is whispering to me I will whispering creates worlds I will my love I will you are in me Universe is humming I am one sighs Universe 3:42 pm u n i u n i verse u n i i n u
LITTLE TREE
this little tree exists only through these words tiny incidental consolation to a runaway child straw of salvation for baby-god earthworm renouncements devotions sacrifices transformations dances little tree searches quests wanderings singings little tree fucks sometimes fucking is nothing else but waiting sometimes fucking is nothing else but loyalty sometimes fucking is nothing else but virginity sometimes fucking is nothing else but one and only girl fucker sometimes fucking is nothing else but boy fucker who is rejoicing every fucker sometimes fucking is nothing else but love through which I permeate all beings little tree of timeless and limitless loyalty magnificent t o t h e m a g n i f i c e n t t o t h e m a g n i f i c e n t t o t h e m a g n i f i c e n t t o t h e m a g n i f i c e n t t o t h e m a g n i f i c e n t t o t h e m a g n i f i c e n t
TOGETHER FOR ONE
together for one through the wholeness together for one through You together for one through oneself I stopped and I’m watching how young man in gumboots is training young hunting dog. he shows him with both his hands to get down and he also tells him get down. then he moves away from him and makes big circle showing from time to time the gesture with hands and saying get down and wait. the dog is peacefully laying and waiting. in the end he got to him and gave him a treat saying well done girl well done girl. the dog got up and with great joy started to jump on his owner. when he finished the exercise young man looked in my direction. I lifted my thumb and shouted well done. he responded with his thumb up a boy is running down the street stomping real hard so as not to fall smoke from her cigarette is flapping towards me bus starts blinking with the left indicator light gray headed man is bringing out the table and chairs in front of his store liberating through words – I sympathise with words takeaway for takeaway walking for walking thinking for thinking love-kissing for love-kissing third stage third stage of God’s love God gam only the alone one is everything I’ m a I’ m a l o n e o n e I’ m a I’ m a l o n e o n e I’ m a I’ m a l o n e o n e I’m absorbing the beauty I’m befriending nouns I’m befriending pronouns I’m befriending adjectives I’m befriending verbs I’m befriending numbers I’m befriending adverbs I’m befriending prepositions I’m befriending conjunctions I’m befriending exclamations I’m befriending particles mathematics of language is within the language of music g a m g a m e m a g m a g
EVERYTHING IS ONE AND IT’S ALL THE SAME IS ONE
it’s all the same – I’m alive God — is alive it’s all the same what I’m writing I’m writing one it’s all the same who I am – I am God whichever way You want it’s really all the same all is beautiful all is good small is small. small is big. small is both small and big big is big. big is small. big is both big and small summit is summit. summit is down. summit is the middle down is down. down is up. down is the middle past is past. past is now. past is future now is now. now is past. now is future future is future. future is past. future is now all is continuing concatenating and permeating third condition has been created yesterday I’ve mentioned it for the first time (yesterday was translated as ‘third stage’, but today’s translation is more appropriate; also, in Serbian ‘pregnancy’ is referred to as ‘second condition’, prim. prev.) grace sets free from existing pictures of the world good cannot be ruled over because good doesn’t rule death is resurrection poem is all and all is poem that all is one and that it’s all the same condition speaks about it I’ve experienced and revived for the first time on the Second Walking for Poetry twenty four years ago all words are love everything depends only from me despite the last night’s pain love doesn’t die and it doesn’t end it just transforms into love all is constantly transforming into the same everything is constantly reviving each other everything is constantly transforming each other all new and newest elements of an atom make and lead towards the one and only atom all new and newest Universes make and lead towards the one and only Universe discovering more and more of different is nothing but confirmation and celebration of anything of the same I’m not afraid even when I am afraid it’s all the same anyways I don’t worry even when I’m worried since all as well as one is all the same God I don’t give a fuck about God who I care for the most since I only affirm Him anyways whatever I might be thinking saying or doing I only love-kiss Him because God is love and He love-kisses me from this poem of mine beautiful your eyes are it’s all the same – God is alive – I’m alive
A HUG
a moment ago I hugged God for the first time I squeezed Him like a child and I started to cry from His presence I was thinking about seven lights God God’s light light of I singing light creating light walking light sun light I was exercising for a little while in the Nest and then I went towards the lake joy is joy of all beings health is health of all beings freedom is freedom of all beings transformation is transformation of all beings loyalty is loyalty of all beings love is love of all beings success is success of all beings in spite of theocide anthropocide fascistocide communistocide God is alive love is alive and all beings are alive I’m enjoying the wind I’m surrendering to the whistling with joy in my heart and smile on my face I said out twenty times I love-kiss You... and the name of one of the twenty people that have hurt me in my life identical yes. same type no through abhorrence of myself I unrooting liberating and transforming myself abhorrence is digging of love abhorrence of myself has saved me from self pity melancholy and depression abhorrence of myself has saved me from preaching teaching and moralising abhorrence of myself is saving me from low self-esteem and too high self-esteem abhorrence of myself separates me from best ones and identifies me with the best one the only one whom I sometimes abhor more them myself is actually You learning proving and inheritance are distancing us from God not learning but admiring not proving but love-kissing not inheriting but identifying with quitting the learning proving and inheriting is death or God
3333 STEPS FOR SIX PETITIONS
I’m inviting all beings and You to help me with Your presence next Friday in creating 66 pictures Numbers – Tree of Life give me a call to arrange the time of Your coming to the Nest this is the only invitation and I won’t tell it to anybody because it’s addressed to everybody will somebody call will somebody be present at the beginning of the Numbers – Tree of Life game f a r f a i r y t a l e t a l e humour nothing is bigger than small and nothing is smaller than big few days ago I’ve read that greatest military powers are not any more spending most money on weapons for killing but on creating indifference towards killing I adore women who are giving birth to love rather than children I adore men who are taking care of all beings rather than their kids it’s been said that the wind will stop today I’m preparing for the walking and counting 3333 steps for all those that are abused and killed by authority church and state ever since the beginning of time 1, 2, 3... ... 3331, 3332, 3333 ah it was exciting – the rhythm of steps – the rhythm of counting prayer through steps and numbers while I was counting I was thinking of my hands and what I’ve managed to do with them I was thinking of petitions petitions are very important. people who initiate and sign them are very brave I’ve never signed any petition because I was never close enough to any of them and because I always wanted to sign all petitions but for 99% of them I’ve never heard of that’s why for these six petitions that make 3333 steps I’m not asking anybody to sign them but whoever wants they can sign them in their hearts and minds 3333 – petition to stop state and authority abuse and torture 3333 – petition to stop weapon production and legal killings 3333 – petition to stop animal cruelty and killing 3333 – petition to stop plant killing 3333 – petition to stop killing the minerals of soil water air and light 3333 – petition to stop abuse and killing of Earth and its environment 33333333 my love my immortality I invite You once again to grace with Your presence the beginning of creating 66 pictures Numbers – Tree of Life
THREE HOURS OF WALKING AND GETTING WET FROM RAIN
we’re going poem and I little poem imperceptible unnoticed poe in everything in the rain that is falling mild eyes of the man plucked carnation flower on the wet asphalt pat... pat... patters the rain on my hood I’m catching bubbles in the water that is pouring down the roadside I’m a child poem child child of all beings one and only child a child of all life a child of immortal life of all beings ...great-great-grandsons great-grandsons grandsons and children are redeeming the evils of their fathers grandfathers great-grandfathers and great-great-grandfathers... dedicated to all victims of concentration camps that are kept secret in all times and all regions hence in these times and regions as well for the second time now I see how an old granny lets her old dog to go out of her house and sends it to poo in front of her neighbours’ houses across the street a poem despite sings flow sorrow is turning on innocence is immortality younglings of all beings are lovers to all beings all younglings are guarding every child a child is giving birth to a poem god is saddest when my-his singing isn’t god God finds it most painful when I hurt somebody with my love to God God y o u You make my I Your words are within me You are my You-I
I YEARN FOR THE PLEASURE OF INNOCENCE
God has not only created everything but he immediately handed it over to everybody I accept everything from God and I offer and give everything to everyone and everybody I haven’t met anybody who wants everything nobody wants everything and everybody is afraid of nothing some are proclaiming 89% as everything – fascists some are proclaiming 49% as everything – liberals some are proclaiming 9% as everything – communists some say that 100% is not possible some are afraid of 100% so they stop at 99% so they are just enlarging 99.99999...% some say that they will be giving 30% because that’s their 100% then they again give just 30% from those 30% nobody wants ∞ but they want to live long Marko Sudac called me again yesterday because he would like to make an interview with me as well as with Tomaz Salamun Marko Pogacnik and Slavko Bogdanovic for the exhibition about banned and locked down artists that he will make on the Galeb boat I answered again that I reject everybody since in this civilisation I haven’t yet met anybody who wants and accepts the wholeness instead the part is rather presented as the wholeness I always feel painful after saying I don’t want and after rejecting because I do want everything everything to the one who wants everything and nothing to those who don’t want everything because without everything I myself am nothing here’s everything for you without a secret I pub public of all beings from yesterday’s rejection I declare all my no as an art work and I’m adding it to the wholeness of my work which is yes thank you everybody who I rejected and said no to since now they are also my yes I was never close to any of techniques from those physical soul mental spiritual magical ones to the technological techniques techniques lead to perfection but they digress from God and they are not the perfection techniques are proclaiming perfection as God I always wanted and I want to be perfect like God that my work would be perfect like God’s work perfect through God I love-kiss God’s perfection no to the perfection of any and whoever’s technique through my hungry love first snowflakes are falling
68TH TIME 33 DAYS
I love agreeing 68 times 33 days is 2244 days of singing agreeing – singing it’s not only that it’s dear to God but that it’s God itself agreeing makes me excited and leads to singing through singing I’m surrendering to the Bud of All Beings to the God’s rose singing is agreeing creating is agreeing walking is agreeing not-agreeing leads to domination vanity misunderstanding quarrel hatred conflict war that’s when first victims are words that’s when I every time become silent in order to save words I’m leaving a relationship and getting into the state of love so that I would save the love in a relationship as well when love within a relationship is not transformed into the state of love then within a relationship it disappears into indifference or hatred when life is not transformed into the art-immortality-God life disappears in death when after agreeing comes to disagreeing I feel miserable and I’m ashamed I’m nothing a poet a child the only fool loneliness Zeljka through loneliness I’m renewing goodness beauty love girl of mine you are creating me miraculous godly all-existing super-surrendering braver than all creatures loyal to all beings I beg You through language to fuck with me I beg You through cowardice to love-kiss me I beg You through agreeing to come together while watching each other into the eyes one eyes God’s may it be Your will
I’M ASKING FROM YOU
instead of words morning notebook a drawing and a poem palms and feet Billie Holiday to be worthy of Billie Holiday of the mellow slow meandering surrendering budding Bud of All Beings yesterday I experienced for the first time Bud of All Beings as God’s rose Bud of All Beings is eternity of a being Bud of All Beings is eternity of a being within every being Bud of All Beings is a being of eternity within the moment of every being Bud of All Beings is a being within a bud the fact that Bora Dragas my friend from sixth and seventh grade of primary school has a birthday today helped a me lot and rejoiced me this morning thank You everyone who hurt me and opened me up for the singing creating walking for God Goddess just born God’s child oldest human being I you the best the one and only artist the eternal art the poet of all beings the walker of the one the most beautiful thing in this world is to be with Miroslav Mandic in the eyes of this dog I felt that he’s lacking love for human survival their love for animals is crucial the love that I got from the dog I’m spreading to all beings it’s in Your interest to work towards my interest when I ask something from somebody it’s in the interest and glory of that somebody who I’m asking when I ask something from somebody I’m looking for God in that what I’m asking from somebody no – to the half yes – to the wholeness yes yes yes – to God g g o d d when God love-kisses me diminishes and disappears within me that I would want to become I through Him when God guards me He enlarges and embraces and guards all existing for me I made twenty snowballs and I put them on the street poles transient and yet eternal on the way back from the lake not a single snowball was left on the poles