Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog
You
are
407557
bud
WITH LASER
goodbye cactus I said to cactus while leaving the Nest now three hours of walking for 33 blessings it was 3 hours15 minutes and 13.47 km actually because everything depends only on me I know that nothing depends on me actually because nothing depends on me everything depends only on me yesterday lemon was agreeing with me a lot now everyday sowing of the money it is a little white envelope on which is written a bud to you if you find it somewhere and open it you find 50 dinars in it and text to unknown person health happiness love and bud of new money from unknown person it’s a bit warmer so I don’t have a scarf over my nose and mouth but from time to time I blow warm air through the nose to keep it warm I’m walking – I’m not travelling – everything within me is travelling yesterday Ivana translated the title Heel Fairytale... as if it is was fifth fairytale and I meant heel fairytale (“fifth” and “heel” in Serbian is the same: “peta”, comment by Ivana) few days ago Ivana translated that Miroslav Mandic book is fairytale for everybody and I wrote that it is for all beings I wink at Ivana I’m in middle. I’m going back. downhill. so far it was uphill so I was sweating a lot and worrying too much only about the walking it’s a bit easier to walk downhill everything is friend and friendship everything doesn’t know the enemy and hostility everything is constant creation of everything everything is constant kissing of everything of tails and wings of flappers and winds of books and meadows of lasers and streams of trout and mature water three magpies in the branches I bow down to everyone who doesn’t have enemies I wink at the shells always when I wink I feel how I’m also winked at in some places where the snow wasn’t cleaned one walks like walking over little children’s mountains uphill to the Cvetko’s market. sweating again slowly for the health of my lungs from Cvetko a slight downhill slope. collecting and gathering three hours of walking. not a lot. not a little. it’s eternal I am Your glory hallo cactus thank You for waiting for me I said to cactus as soon as I got into the Nest
HUGGER-SINGER
little is so little exactly as much as big is big incomprehensible the biggest is yearning for the smallest the smallest is yearning for the biggest everything that is is constant wedding of the biggest and smallest one step for the biggest one step for the smallest biggest wouldn’t exist without the smallest nowhere the biggest isn’t feeling so good like in the biggest I’m gently holding my hand on Your belly I write with love – I write to love art of the chestnut it’s getting warmer – sparrows are flying again I wink at the flees I winked at the flees because I’m thinking all the time about the sense just now I felt the sense of today’s walking I’m walking so as to hug the Universe shall we go there to cheat the people one young boy says to another near Vuk monument Universe couldn’t exist if nobody was hugging it infinity of existence genesis is the only happening within the genesis everybody has its own place everybody exists only through genesis I hug everybody who hugs good throat sings beautifully when body hair stands up from the joy the world is always saved I’m still holding my hand on Your belly everything I am doing is cosmic work street works in the Universe under the light of the public of all beings
EPOS
beggars are the spout and delta of goodness while I’m walking I lift myself a bit with my foot of the right leg and that’s enough for the eternal art I wink at Ignacy Witkiewicz dedicated to Vera Varady’s Czeslaw Milosz I finished reading of Mahabharata. I don’t want to hurt anybody but world of warriors and wars is not my world all big epics that are talking about war and war waging are not mine I live on new not yet written epics on epos about patient observation epos about lofty non- action epos about not opposing the evil epos about a horse who is contemplating over man epos about glorious bacteria and viruses epos about grass and hay epos about the centre that is everywhere and periphery that is nowhere epos about love for every particle epos about big singing of small songs epos about the Bud of All Beings epos about a child which is resurrecting all creatures epos about the eyes of this woman who is crossing the pedestrian crossing epos not about the theory of everything but about love for everything epos about anonymous forces of love Jelena Besir and I had coffee at the half way point of her 2/33 Walking for the Bud of All Beings epos of loneliness epos of the rain – warm rain is starting epos of thinking epos ball eposgame epos of care-freeness epos of groundless heroism and heroism of groundlessness epos of the root and fruit of words epos about the best one – poem is telling the best one unlike the ancient epics that are telling about the best ones biggest epos ever written – epos about anything I-epos by epos-ohm by ohm p o e m
WINKER
it’s so beautiful that I’m walking slowly from the beginning heavenly. harmless. innocent I also took off my sweat-shirt I’m just in my shirt near the main Post Office I think of snowdrops the wind is getting stronger. it’s colder. I feel cold for a while just to say sorry for slagging you at the writer’s forum approached me and told… who I haven’t seen for twenty years I can only imagine how people some people are slagging me to be slagged is good for calming down I’m holding my palm around my throat. all my attention is going towards keeping myself from coldness when I got going I thought how good it was that I put on such a light clothes now I’m thinking quite the opposite that it’s not so good I put on such light clothes I was hoping that on the Bulevard’s uphill I’ll come across a leeward spot but I didn’t my palm around my neck and just as soon as possible to get to the Nest I’m thinking about a lot of situations in which beings are hiding themselves in shelters under the eaves running away from the rain into the leeward spot from wind into the warm to keep away from the cold coming into the nest crawling into the pits and holes entering the cities getting to the wood running away into the basements from bombs running away from tyranny all the way until they reach free territory if I’m already freezing and worrying may at least the blessings stay if I’m already slagged off may there at least be blessings about slagging if I was better dressed it would have been a different tune but instead it’s this blown through one older gentleman with his hand on his back is peacefully whistling I drank a warm tee I had a warm shower I drank lemonade I already changed the sweaty undershirt I’m drinking a bit of brandy I wink at the one who has slagged me on the writer’s forum I wink at winking
LUMBERJACK OF LOVE
I will be drawing little circles for every plane tree on the Boulevard in Belgrade it’s been said that they are eighty to ninety years old but soon in spite of their beauty and incredible importance for life and culture of Belgrade they will be cold-bloodedly cut down by the circle-wholeness I will heal me-You and all beings from helplessness because I can’t prevent evils that are constantly happening in the world who is – what kind of a being – is developing financing and producing weapons that are used for killing it’s starting to rain slightly. will I manage to draw all the little circles people are terribly cruel – unsurpassed killers but good deeds of rare beings are surpassing evil doings of people as I pass the plane tree I draw a little circle I drew all plane trees from Cvetko’s Market to the main Post Office I’m getting a cramp in my left hand in which I was holding a pad and crayons I continued to Kalemegdan in order to cover today’s mileage I’m starting to draw little circles for every plane tree across the road from the main Post Office to the Cvetko’s Market I finished – all the plane trees are now alive forever although man will soon commit the slaughter slaughter-man slaughter-man transform yourself into the healer man – don’t take the life of the other beings man – clean your evils and sins in the oceans of tears of other beings man – may Your chest tremble with love cry for all beings man – you can’t live or survive if you kill any other being man – have you ever seen the beauty of the green moss on the trees man – have you ever seen an apple on the tree branches man – have you ever been saved from coldness by a tree man – have you ever found better method of thinking than the picture of tree man – give birth to the nursery plants man – quiet down within trees man – find your survival in the lungs of trees man – you are just a servant to the dignity of trees man – trees are the blue roses in the universe man personal religion is the religion solely of God God alone God of all beings all big religions are just private religions man conscience is knowledge knowledge itself knowledge of all beings all big universities are just the interest of private knowledge man giving your life to the other is the only economy profit itself harmony of all beings all big corporations and banks are just death and sorrow of private ownership man Your beauty is the beauty of God beauty itself beauty of all beings all big fashions in everything and also in art are just private and old fashioned only-I-you lumberjack healer calmer waiter
FIRST 33 BOW-DOWNS
I bow down to Your face I bow down to the grass which is swaying in the snow I bow down to the nostrils and pine needles I bow down to the bow-downs of all pilgrims I bow down to the openness I bow down to the walk while walking bow down is freedom with which free people are kissing the un-free I bow down to all hugs I bow down because I enjoy bowing down I bow down to flowers that smell nice I bow down to the road that leads everyone to everybody I bow down to the easiness of bowing down I bow down to the hand on the chest I bow down to the lips on the groin wow how bowing down is healing everything gathers in the bow-down I stop anywhere and I just bow down – I call that wise I bow down to the seriousness of bowing down I bow down to the tenderness of bowing down I bow down to the particle that is trotting through the heart of the Universe for millions of years I bow down to the dog in the city in which there is not even a mad dog I bow down to the fingers of my hands that folded up in the prayer for prayer I bow down to the heart that is kissing the lonely hearts I bow down to the heroism of those who have endured the pain of love and not hurting anybody I bow down to everyone who brings peace to somebody else I bow down to the mystery of the soil I bow down to the holy scriptures that are talking about the one and about simplicity I bow down to the yearning that is giving You birth within me I bow down to the warm and dry long legged boots on my legs thanks to Vesna Milovic who gave them to me couple of years ago I bow down to the inexhaustibility of repeating the unrepeatable only repeating is singing the unrepeatable and that’s why I bow down again I bow down to the bud of Your belly button I bow down to the bud of Your heart
GODLY LOYALTY PERMEATES ME
a battle of all beings for all beings has started I kiss my mortality – it is an eternal immortality rose of blaze blazing rose if I’d known in my youth that I will be so alone in my life I probably wouldn’t dared to go this way that way I neither wanted nor I cloud have went if I didn’t go this way I would have barely existed or I would have killed myself thank God I went this way I am alone so as to really be with somebody I am alone so as to really be with everybody I am alone because all beings are alone only when a being is alone a being is with all beings alone is everything why don’t you learn how to make medicinal tinctures I’m walking the planet – I’m circling in the heart of all beings ocean of loneliness – ocean of permeating kings are disgusting – presidents are boring said the king of all kings to the president of all presidents kings are killers – presidents are mass killers said the king of a king to the president of a president by walking loneliness turns into the bud by walking and writing loneliness turns into the Bud of All Beings oh how this yellow butterfly rejoiced me one can’t know everything but one can love everything knowing is lesser than loving I am precedes everything and creates everything I couldn’t bare the loneliness if I didn’t see the yellow butterfly I couldn’t bare the loneliness if I don’t feel all beings I couldn’t bare the loneliness if I don’t live for You even though You are not around I couldn’t bare the loneliness if there weren’t those who are alone and who bared it and are enlarging love of all beings mother instinct of alone ones is the instinct for all beings and not for the one’s own beings alone ones are not at war – they don’t steal nor kill alone ones don’t write history – alone ones are dancing and singing loneliness is disappearing with merging of the couple or togetherness of all beings merging of two people lasts briefly and togetherness of all beings doesn’t exist yet
57TH TIME 33 DAYS
there are twenty three million people in this world who live like sex slaves warm and sunny day. I’ve been thinking for already an hour about violence and evil that are done to sex slaves. I thought of this and that and in the moment when I asked myself what could I do now for them I caught the sight of this tree and I felt that’s that what I should have done to look at and take the photo of the tree that is saving white slaves actually because there is nothing cleaner more noble and innocent in this world than sex – sex is abused the most seventy percent of biological life is based on sex seventy percent of business comes from sex birth – sex – death I threw a ball into the air 33 times so as there was no abuse of birth sex and death in order to turn seventy percent of business that comes from sex into the life for all beings birth gives birth to illusions as well sex is being manipulated and traded with death is being threatened with as well as it’s been used for making life senseless the smell of the grass agrees with me – it liberates me from feeling guilty for 23 million people who are now molested through sexual violence that girl who is running really slow has reminded me of the art of slow running yesterday and today I have been collecting little stones for the cactus I’m getting old every day I notice how I’m getting old getting old is unknown to me it is unknown to me as any period of life was unknown it is unknown to me like life after death is unknown will I go around the Planet in ten years will I be creating Bud of All Beings every day will I be the Art of Miroslav Mandic every moment I skip for the success of all beings I skip for Your success I skip for success of the Eternal Art of Miroslav Mandic since I have sixty years of experience in unknown it would be good to use it for getting old as well and to create while getting old what can only be sung while getting old the art of getting old is creating immortality just art just poem I have to admit that I couldn’t grasp from the site what are you doing now a friend who I met by chance in the end of today’s walking told me will you catch it I asked eight year old boy and threw him the ball he caught it with smile. my hero and first unknown person in the Bud who I threw the ball to today is 1881st day of Miroslav Mandic book and pedometer showed me that I have walked 18881 step today hey beauty of numbers – goodness of unknown – hey boy hero – one and only love – we are one
I’M GOING TOWARDS YELLOW
the moment I started to go I was filled with joy from big boots I’m going to see the yellow colour that I saw by chance yesterday is it somebody’s art work or was the railroad house painted in it just like that I’m going to see that yellow since it seemed to me as the most important thing that can be done today in this world most important since it is unimportant unimportance is important because it’s not corrupted everything that is important is invalid because it’s corrupted science will be celebrated only when it starts being engaged in the unimportant towards yellow maybe it is some important art work but I don’t know that for me that yellow is a great art work whenever something is expensive it is corrupted and therefore it can’t be a great art work no matter how much the corrupted ones have been declaring it as such I’m taking one metre long steps in order that none of my thoughts would be judgement or condemnation but free thought when I say that there is much more music in yellow of the railroad house than in the city philharmonics I didn’t say anything bad about the philharmonics but I said good about the yellow when I say that everything important is corrupted and unimportant uncorrupted I’m not accusing important but celebrate unimportant I create eternal art for all beings and that means also for philharmonics and science and corrupted beings 11:10am two more kilometres to the yellow yellow is only half way up. the upper half is some gray-white colour yellow is spattered from the cars that are passing by and that’s how it’s even more beautiful that yellow I forgot about everything and I just walked – that was in glory of yellow Bud of All Beings is the struggle of all beings for all beings I believe that human beings as well are living for all beings and that’s why I believe that human beings have the need to free themselves from human restraints and society Bud of All Beings is setting free human beings from human society that enslaves them so as they would enslave other beings freedom is love for all beings and not only for some beings love for all beings is not destroying but just kisses all beings I’m on Sava. spring waters are carrying everything in front of it I’m going to see the yellow and tomorrow I will come to see this grass mixed with moss river say to everybody that I’m going to see the yellow colour on the railroad house I said quietly to river Sava I lifted up three little stones the size of a thumb nail. richness – from today I will be gathering stones I’m heading to see the yellow and I’m immensely enjoying this rain by the river here it is – here I am. yellow is yellowing and confirming itself even in this greyness of the rain 6.96 km to the yellow. I made 36 photos of the yellow in the end one man approached me and drove me away because I’m not allowed to take photos of yellow. I told him thank you and he told me thank you is worth nothing cactus – happiness of all beings I said to cactus when I got into the Nest
THE SUN IS SHINING – I’M FILLED WITH MOSS
today I’ll go to see the grass mixed with moss it’s on the docks grown around some metal bar I haven’t even drank one sip of coffee and I’m already thinking of the grass and moss walking towards the sun it’s bitter. strong and gentle. first sip. of nescafe I’m finishing the drawing of the Solemn Sunday Lunch of All Beings sun is shining while I was drawing little circles on the drawing I was thinking with excitement about the sentence sun is shining it’s raining. wind is blowing. it’s snowing. sun is shining what is shining and how the sun shines sun is shining wow how sun is shining is nicely said sentence I’m watching the day through the window it shines light is still young and it smells of morning sun is shining hey life shines God shines I shines I shines in the word sh-I-nes shines the word shines by shining of the sun every word shines shining sowing (in Serbian very similar: “sijanje” “sejanje”) ing – God’s light light is the body of all beings light is the food and love of all beings light is home – homeland of all beings light – road that I will take to the grass and moss they are cutting the plane trees when a feeling of pleasure permeates me that’s some good being somewhere caresses all beings here are first snowdrops on the street. a lot of hearts trembles when first snowdrops appear in town may God give you to always have and always give an old woman told me in Svetogorska street I’m caressing grass and moss
WITH HEART
if there was no God I wouldn’t be a poet fawn doe countless sexes of the one and only love countless loves of the one and only sex everything lives just from Your love your breath my breath one breath I am a body of all metaphors who dares doesn’t judge melancholy of birth giving gives birth to the eternal melancholy joy of the creation creates the eternal joy nonviolence is the one and only love I’m outside – I sing through God – air I am peace of all beings in my heart it’s raining – sun is not shining – sun is shining the best one is fighting on the side of the winners just until they win the best ones are on the side of the winners after the win the best one liberates people from tyranny and criminal of the best ones dedicated to Vladimir Macura cut plane trees – horrible sight – apocalypse everyone who feels every moment that many beings are experiencing apocalypse will save all beings from apocalypse little sister – joyful tears the best one is admiring the best one for best ones it goes without saying that others admire them only the lone one kisses everything if couple don’t transform into one they kiss just halves through thinking everything – everything is and sings through thinking everything – everything thinks and kisses me through thinking everything – I’m kissing the thought that thinks everything this is the blessing in which like in every poem one can take out word by word until you come to your word from which you will live with all beings always and forever love love love I cheer You I spoke out while I was drawing Good Walker I’m going back through the Boulevard. again deterrent sounds of a saw and horrible sights of massacre in my heart I’m sawing the seed of all beings in my mind I’m sawing the seed of not yet created beings only from nothing everything by the same poem first time by the same poem again by the same poem god if I wasn’t a poet I wouldn’t have been God
I’M KISSING YOU SUNDAY’S LONELINESS – COSMIC LONELINESS
I’M KISSING YOU SUNDAY’S LONELINESS – COSMIC LONELINESS definitely – let’s definitely I definitely need a bit louder speakers I thought yesterday I would definitely like to draw on the screen I would definitely like you to come over pornography is definitely body of platonic love sex is definitely homeland of eternity body definitely feeds the soul soul definitely feeds the spirit spirit is definitely God of small things it’s definitely nice walking on grass it’s definitely nice to hear the voice that is calling me statistic is definitely a gentile friend on a big woman’s forehead is definitely laying the foundation of the future church through the beauty of Goddess God has definitely been creating snow Solemn Sunday Lunch of All Beings is definitely most tasty lunch from time immemorial to eradicating of hunger of all beings Milica is definitely a girl that gives birth to all beings joy is definitely noble I-go is definitely an I-dea the fact that there is nobody around is definitely Your presence and Your glory Bud of the New Money is definitely an answer scarf is definitely caressing a neck and not strangling it to the dancers singing is definitely unstoppable and dancing regenerating Your breasts are definitely my lungs Your cock is definitely my tranquillity Your pussy is definitely my creation gratitude is definitely most intense fucking self censorship is definitely most morbid death my heart is definitely grafted to Yours bees are definitely flying through the Universe science serving war goals is definitely ending state serving violence is definitely ending giving birth as means of extending the kind is definitely ending definitely only God is telling me Miroslav dance and sing
IMMORTAL LIFE IS PRECONDITION OF THE LIFE OF ALL BEINGS
IMMORTAL LIFE IS PRECONDITION OF THE LIFE OF ALL BEINGS I can no longer live if I don’t die with butchered plane trees I can no longer live if I don’t die every second with all killed beings anywhere in the Universe I can no longer live if I don’t die every day with beings that are dying I can no longer love if I’m not compassionate with unloved ones I can no longer give birth if every second I don’t scream through screaming of a newborn ones I can no longer create if I don’t identify with the ones for whom creating has been forbidden it’s really nice how much I know you. I don’t know when exactly it happened that I have learned you. but I know a lot about you and it feels really pleasant. there is certainly a lot I don’t know about you but you are one of the people I know the most of. you are actually the only one. I know more about you and your history than about any other man Branka Zgonjanin wrote me while we were chatting I would love if you’d known everything about me. I would love that everybody knew everything about me I answered Branka one is open only the one is open open is immortal freedom is open fears are in secrets the weapon that is used for ruling others reigns within the secrets openness is the nest of all beings woman in Zaplanjska street is sitting on the steps in front of the shop. she is smoking a cigarette. cleaning the knees of her pants and cries you are like ones you are with – I am with all beings I cooked the beetroot I am a constant petition through which the beauty of every being and goodness of all beings is supported Miroslav Mandic is handwriting of all beings when I write Miroslav Mandic I wrote Your name when anybody writes their name they wrote Miroslav Mandic thunders are guarding tender beings all beings are tender all beings are guarding thunders I will give You my scarf I caress Your toe nails I caress all beings within You You who kiss life I caress Your brave decision that You have just come to I caress Your tenderness that You need to carry out Your decision I constantly think of You You are my thought I am Your path-life-love
MIROSLAVEY (from “odyssey”)
when I get money I will buy 129600 millimetres of white wool. for every blessing one millimetre. I will wind in a ball all blessings written until then then I will wind every week 198 millimetres of white wool – 198 blessings written that week white ball of wool bud of love that white ball of wool is this book a ball writing through balling – balling through writing a ball is circling by stillness Miroslavness Miroslavey of creating Odyssey of Odysseus Miroslavey of Miroslav there are no halves. there are no compass points therE arE no boundariEs of time but just the energy of love only one I of every I everything is in one white geese are taking off from the water soul is flying fire is creating air is kissing water is transforming earth exists down is up – up is down there is here – here is there soft is hard – hard is soft white is white – white is white Miroslavics of all beings Miroslavics of wedding of all beings with all beings Miroslavey of humbleness and tameness Miroslavey of loyalty and simplicity Miroslavey of God Miroslavey of creating is creating of Miroslav Mandic and singing of Miroslav Mandic geese are flying
BUSINESS MORNING
I’m running the water all beings sing within me Buds are asking me when will Ana come to draw us again I sent e-mail yesterday to Ana Djordjevic-Petrovic well that’s true, a Garden sometimes needs a female hand. tell them I’m coming soon... I think it will be Tuesday 9th March around 11:30 but I must confirm that... because my grandma has a birthday that day and I’m not sure if she will live till then... let it then be as it must be Ana answered me I hope I will soon start drawing 33 Pictures of Eternal Life God is creating within me when I’m happy I’m always also happy for all beings this is unbearably good-beautiful idea for You read me better than I am writing I am writing better than anybody can read me why didn’t I approach her marry me – I am married to You I kiss You loyally but get out of my sight if You don’t feel why I resent you I admire Rousseau for leaving his five kids in a children’s home I admire Teresa Levasseur Rousseau’s wife for enduring Rousseau’s decisions this that flickers flickers in glory of flickering Van Gogh’s paintings are just a hint of Van Gogh Christ thus how and where from has come thus only a nostalgia for this moment is live nostalgia the fact that sometimes I don’t want to say anything says more than if I have said anything every blade of grass any sparrow what a cows tree in mud is not rotting sun’s ember – heart of the planet Earth when I’m happy I’m always happy for Fernando Pessoa as well just look at this beauty of a sentence smell of cows why didn’t you approach me I love less and less football but I love more and more football ball word underneath a word is a poem word next to a word is a story word in a circle is a poem and fairytale of the Bud of All Beings in the book these words should be arranged in a circle
I LOVE
I am http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmen_Herrera I am http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Zinn I am is love that identifies I am snow I love to draw fine lines with ink and pen I love to write words on top of the words I love not yet existing law by which the acquired wealth during the life can’t be inherited but just transferred to all beings everyone that ever existed is now me everything that ever existed is now me all water all stones all light a friend tells me that she got all money from the state budget for the film I don’t know how to make films but I know how to ask for and get the money for them I made this up I put hand cream on my feet as well as calf length boots and here I am on the snow when I was sixteen I wrote first poem about black and white snow first poem I saved is when I was twenty and it’s called Nevenka first two-three hundred poems I burnt in a trash can when I was twenty one I bought an elastic band for a green jogging suit that I found on the street three-four months ago I am a theory of theory – You are theory of theory I create theories – You are a practical theory I love the same in each letter – You love differences in each letter I love Woody Guthrie You Bob Dylan important is thought through well only if it is thought a little bit and short an un important is not thought through but one rather exists for all of that what is not important and is not unimportant all thoughts are being and are spent I love to think like a child I love to think like a rock that ibex/Alpine mountain goats are climbing over I also love to think like today’s wind over the river everyone who endangers the weaker is already dead state is already dead institutions are already dead big corporations are already dead who at least once has experienced one will always love and be one I love when world is beautiful like eyes of this woman who looked at me as she was passing by
THREE DAYS IN PRISON
oh joy oh-joy joy work joy You’ll be breath taken from beauty and love of Miroslav Mandic when You open up to him I live whole my life in order to write this in this exact way sun is shining it’s really cold Miroslav Mandic – first poet of all beings Miroslav Mandic – first artist of all beings Miroslav Mandic – first walker of all beings Miroslav Mandic – first fight in which nobody fights against anybody but everybody fights for everybody who believes me believes themselves rejoice me – believe me touch – it’s touching I opened up to you and you are immortal wind is blowing like crazy and it’s pretty cold – a man said to somebody over the phone I am a juicy peach of language Nietzsche constantly Nietzsche – Nietzsche constantly sprouts (Serbian “sprout” is written and pronounced the same as name Nietzsche) the more objective it is the more false it is – the more public the more secretive it is Nikolai Fyodorov when I got into the Nest I took out the money and I saw that this week I have saved 300 dinars. but I also noticed that I have lost the batteries for my dictaphone that cost 600 dinars my heart is full because after a long time I saw my beggar Ruzica and her seven year old daughter Sanja. they were happy to see me. that makes me happy and proud although Ruzica said she has been in prison for three days because of beggary this man and his civilization with these kind of laws are dead because he locks up god’s creatures I love You Sanja – I love You Ruzica once more I love You even more Sanja – I love You even more Ruzica art of pillow case I give this idea to Jelena Besir as a present I miss reeds I’m hungry. I’m tired. I’m sleepy news of the day is that the day is the news only news of every day is actually that the day is the only news last night in Kalenic café I met seventy year old beautiful woman who is coming into the Kalenic café for 33 years dedicated to the art of 33 we are the heart of all beings
BEAUTY OF YOUR SHIT
four in the afternoon yesterday I had a thought that I can hardly wait to wake up and write You I got up at half seven but there was no water Jelena Besir didn’t call to tell me if she is coming to take photos of 64 Buds are Singing to the Bud of All Beings the telephone rang and Violeta asked me is your mobile phone not working I realised that I didn’t take it out of my jacket yesterday and I didn’t hear it ringing Violeta asked me to ask Ivana to check the blessings in Serbian since today and tomorrow as well as maybe for the rest of the week she won’t have the access to the internet on the mobile phone I saw that Jelena has already left and that she phoned me several times I called Jelena to tell her to stop by somewhere to the toilet since mine was full of the material that didn’t go for the lack of water Jelena bought water so we made coffee I drew all 64 Buds and Jelena took photos of them I drew Blue Rose and Jelena recorded Blue Film I gave to Jelena a little stone from the Saturday photo and the idea that is called The Art of the Pillow Case I walked with Jelena to Branko’s bridge. we met Ana and saw a group of women who were protesting on the occasion of 8th of March guarded by a large group of policemen on my way back I walked on my own so as to walk through the coldness I didn’t write anything I just walked and protecting my nose and mouth from cold air I bought the batteries for dictaphone I bought portfolio and hundred cases for the Blue Roses I bought tartar sauce when I got to the Nest I got last year’s bill for utilities for April last year that I paid already and that put me down and confirmed that state institutions are criminal I washed my hands and face with half a glass of water in water that Jelena bought me I cooked leek carrot and a bit of cabbage I’m withholding myself from being afflicted by the fucking carelessness and greed of people serving the state water will come soon and will take away the material I say material and not shit just to make a joke to the delight of humour not to be disgusted by shit is very important to feel the goodness of shit is even more important to see the beauty of the shit of others is the art of the beauty itself scientists are trying for centuries to find the theory of everything the problem is that the theory of everything can’t be found if it isn’t for everything wherever everything is there the formulae for everything abides only the one that is everything if the theory of everything lunch is waiting for You
FOR NEW CLEAN BEGINNING
when I heard yesterday a respectable man saying that is what Einstein said… I immediately thought out another Einstein’s sentence what Einstein has said is one more thing that is being said for that I have said it and I haven’t said it science is a question – I am questioned I am questioned about everything – everything depends on me religion is an answer – I am responsible for a response twenty or so people holding packages are waiting in front of the gate of the District Jail to visit their loved ones I am happy because I’ve been in jail I am happy for seeing this tree I am watching it for all locked up people what are you doing – a woman that came out of the yard asked me I find this tree beautiful so I’m taking a picture of it – I answered her it could build a house. we thought of cutting it down but let it stay – she said a man is washing his hands in a little bit of snow that is left on the car it is good to learn about beauty from the beauty of the stones this is not a lot but it is everything minimal needs are making maximal love maximal needs give birth to nothingness I am on Miroslav Mandic – most remote star in the Universe the most remote star is now and here now within now here within here I within I love within love I within love – love within I I within heart of goodness I within heart of beauty I within heart of new and clean beginning begin me Miroslav Mandic is Everybody’s Mother this is not a lot but it is even a bit more than everything now of the lips here of the agreement I of cranberry I just remembered that I have forgotten something but I still can’t remember what that is little stones lie is betrayed regret (in Serbian “regret” is anagram of “lie”: “laž” “žal”)
ONLY THE LIFE OF ALL BEINGS WITHIN ME CONSTITUTES MY LIFE
did you read Hey Little Man – by Wilhelm Reich did you read School of Atheism – by Aleksandar Tisma that is what I couldn’t remember yesterday and I did remember tonight snow dust is snowing green football pitch is white again time plays are not stopping and are constantly changing are we gonna walk Miroslav – I say to myself we are walking and hanging around with all beings – I keep on encouraging myself all beings are in every heart only the life of all beings within me constitutes my life amen all beings are snowing white wool of alllife is winding because the roots of the trees are interfering with waste pipes water pipes electrical and telephone wires in the ground man has thought out to plant the trees in enclosed space. some kind of big pots but actually cages soil belongs first to trees and only then to man man has stolen the soil from the trees man doesn’t understand that in that way he himself is in the cage of his own idiotism to be a man is something most disgusting that can happen to a being only among all beings there is a hope for the most disgusting ones they are rejoicing – snowing more and more – all beings I hug unimportance for You – I kiss You in unimportance I sent an e-mail to Branka Zgonjanin if you didn’t get going just to tell you that strong wind is blowing. take double scarf. dress well. I kiss you Jelena Besir sent me an sms kisses are taking care of kisses I am outside. it’s not cold. but when it starts blowing... man like any other being is not disgusting but what man is doing to other beings is disgusting and that makes him disgusting man will free himself from the man I think of the beauty of Arabic writing all symbols are live love cross is love swastika is love circle is love wheel is love crescent moon is love pentagram is love hexagon is love ... mind in heart. heart in goodness of pussy and cock that are creating beauty of love I let one old woman pass on a snowy path and she smiled at me I felt how her heart warmed up. in her smile all beings are enjoying now I wink at lambs I wink at man so as he wouldn’t butcher the lambs millions of years are behind me. millions of years are in front of me and just one and only now within which all millions are all beings have lived until now so as I would write this blessing while this wind by the river is blowing through me I think that all I do is nothing else but just music of hope for all beings music of budding