Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog
You
are
407875
bud
LJILJI NADEZHDA JULIAN MISSISSIPPI NIKOLAI
i am god god i recognised you last night on the toilet seat while i was thinking about the boy ljilji and his father who killed himself yesterday it was the same arch-consciousness which i experienced in jail which i also felt the when my father killed himself today’s poem i am god immortality is the only job this is the beginning dying dying for the sake of immortality of the book immortality is here Miroslav M it’s waiting I’m walking Nadezhda is locked up Julian is locked up milky sun I covered my nose I’m thinking about the letter of love which I will write to the one and only girl-friend-male I’m thinking about the letter of love which I will write to the one and only male-friend-girl I’m thinking about the text for the green Coffees of Courage which I should write fog is coming down everybody left me God God is love everybody will come back to me God God is serenity God is being left through birth and dying God is came back to through love and immortality God are the rejected ones God are the locked up ones God is orgasm Mississippi John Hurt blues Nikolai Fyodorov freedom hips of twisting meekness of meandering babe shake it shake it my cosmic innocence each cell is sexual worker in the mission of love for the particles of the One and Only Language of All Being Hymn of Freedom of All Beings to the Vow of Love and Immortality
IT IS
wow how this is beautiful I cannot even describe it nor what it is nor who it is nor how it is but it is here’s where it’s hitting me in the nape it goes down the spine see how they’re spreading their wings and this up there opaque dark that over there some certain somebody constant flyover leaves which are absent but which will appear maybe it’s a womb one and only womb in which we are a womb in which everything is a womb without black holes in the Universe the very God nothing yet created God only
I’M SHIVERING
blues is bestrewing me since this morning I live in music in mystics of mystic I’m bathing in music music is sisterhood and brotherhood of all beings legs are flying hips are swaying belly is butterflying chests are exciting shoulders opening up neck twisting head surrendering hands caressing eyes merging foreboding of immortality god’s heart beats through music music saves from self-misery and imposed slavery it wakes up from stuffiness and lifts up the desperate ones life on its own is magnificent people make it horrible what do I do for that to change how to live and not die of shame I’m drawing the Blue Rose – it dawned on me not opposing the evil love-kissing those who are opposing evil because they are the only innocent ones love-kissing those who are doing evil because they don’t know that they are killing their own children love-kiss Miroslav love-kiss with your legs hips belly chests shoulders neck head hands eyes with the finger in the mouth of a bystander shiver Miroslav shiver shiver over the life of each being shiver like a candle flame
BEFORE THE EVENT
I’m going there is no coming back that’s that crooning reduced the skin of words pulse pulse is beating burs I’m tenderly thinking about the juice of a cactus the sun is coming out from there to here from here to there nodes tree rings grapes of existence wipe your mouth tenderness melts away these words it springs ripples I’m warming up these words with the warmth of my body I’m smiling at the words of one poet which are warning me not opposing the evil is complete absence of the support for evil absence of conformism and indifference absence of existing world leaves that are carried by the wind are rushing towards me through writing I’m creating new readers yet never created being you are all in me god you are my poem i’m serving you only through you am i free i’m love-kissing you only through you am i love-kissing
ART WHICH SAVES
the art of salvation is in the salvation of art the salvation of art in the art which saves in boy’s whistling incorruptibility of an author by author’s rights I am an author and I care for authorship but not for author’s rights the best one cares for authorship and the best ones for author’s rights I care for authorship because of the admiration for all authors so that I would enable authorship to yet unborn ones so that I can walk create sing art of salvation in the salvation of art in swearwords because they are protecting the spirit of the time from the fashion of the time because I despise the system and it’s polite society because swearwords are resistance and distance from school and university because they are innocence and grace in Miroslav Mandic book because they are the discovery of live goodness of language because they are the revelation of language salvation of art in the art which is saving God inexhaustible source of live life each event which is more than life immortal work which is more than life only through God everything is everything only through God You are You only through God sex is love only through God money are angels only through God a word is already a very poet only through God a poet is instantly eternal word only in this wind God is God only in only alone is not lonely writing one word is more miraculous than writing a poem singing one word is harder than writing thousands of novels only through god am i one and only god i am god in you i see myself and you see in me that i am god today’s poem i am god
198 COFFEES OF COURAGE
green orgasmic orgasm stimulates the brain more than any other human activity immortal half of the heart which is seeking the other half elegant winding 198 coffees of courage for one better and braver world of all beings 198 coffees of courage is the art work which consists of coffee of courage – that glorious name 198 drawings of the cup of coffee on the front page of the white envelope money for the coffee in the envelope today’s 33 blessings photo of the coffee of courage on the web-site miroslavmandic.name number of the coffee of courage on the back of the envelope Miroslav Mandic Signature coffee of courage is the coffee You go to drink and while drinking it You come up with certain brave decision brave decision for which You know that is important and which will bring You both strength and success which will set Your suppressed goodness free through which You will live healthier better and richer for Yourself and for others I will be giving the envelopes with money for the coffee of courage to known and unknown people coffees of courage for 2012 were blue coffees of courage for 2014 will be purple 198 coffees of courage are confirming and protecting 198 blessings which I write every week the joy of giving celebrates the sex of receiving happiness of receiving divinifies orgasm of giving we are one one puppy one kitten one hug one transience don’t be afraid surrender yourself don’t oppose give and give yourself my only bud my snowflake give Yourself to Yourself and trust Yourself like You never have believed that You are 198 coffees of courage are thirst for life while I’m writing You this rain is pattering over my jacket 198 coffees of courage are hunger for life while I’m writing You this wind is carrying the smells of heavenly oceans 198 coffees of courage are triggering the miracle of love within You while I’m writing You this low clouds would like to touch You 198 coffees of courage are joys of life which I will be writing about tomorrow
DANDELIONS OF A MOMENT
everything begins with elation excitement existence with wagging of a cow’s tail with irresistible road with grass between the legs with the wind in wild flowers with children which are running to the arms of events with never-ending sex of the very life all moments within one moment are all years within every year are all children within each child are everything you see you have never seen before said Pessoa what you see is too much since you are seeing a lot anyway Walser would say innocence of hips in the brain gyri holiness of anybody’s face music in the blood of girls waiting for myself said Ivan yesterday warm summer day city dandy and village oglers beauty is walking through the spine of a beauty through her hand on the nape through the rail track in the dusk gracefulness will never give up with the language of pleasure with open eyes with sinewy hands with fat lips with extremities of language moments are impassable they are a church joys of life are the one and only bed me in you you in me all light of the world are we
I LIVE
the snow is white in front of me a magpie is jumping over the snow covered slope this autumn planted plane trees are going to survive traces of shoes and birds on the snow temperature is lower today than it was yesterday but since there is no wind and it’s clouded it’s warmer than yesterday when it was sunny and windy I’m in the woods there is no greenery white path. straight tree trunks. bare treetops. grey sky frozen soil covered with thin layer of snow so there is no mud in the woods Slow Steps Are Singing Me Is My Name I live I live life the life of all those who used to live all those who live now who are yet to live I live I sing I‘m eternal art in the poem of all beings my stomach and chests are hurting me I’m smiling so that I get over it winter festivities and magic are finished it’s a lull spring is waiting to begin I’m enjoying the silence of the woods I’m watching black bare branches they are webbing the sky thick ones thin tenuous I’m happy because I love trees all human stories are part of the one great story of all human beings which I call poem a poem by Miroslav Mandic Miroslav Mandic Poem one and only poem in the Miroslav Mandic book fog and dusk are blending into each other
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IMMEDIATELY
few days ago a female friend of mine told me she will do one nice thing today she repeated that I asked her if I could give her an advice I accept it wholeheartedly – she replied do it immediately – I wrote to her everything that is good should be done immediately and what’s bad never this friend told me in the end that she did it and that it was easy and mitigating isn’t it so – I replied then I remembered that in 2004 for 222 days I did a work which I called Immediately it was bothering me that I don’t do certain things immediately and that’s why I immediately did Immediately and Immediately helped me do things immediately I see green plastic ball in the grass and I immediately write green plastic ball in the grass wet snow. moist paper. green stripes. thrown away pocket shots I’m laughing that drunkards are calling these little bottles pocket shots (in Serbian “little grandchildren”) love-kissing immediately it’s beautiful when immediately turns into never-ceasing everything has become immediately orgasm as well starts immediately a man has closed a zipper on the right pocket and he’s immediately checking with his left hand if everything is all right with the left pocket immediately liberates immediately and immediately brings relief immediately everything immediately openness forever immediately only light immediately love for all beings immediately hug to each being I immediately wink to the world and I feel so good that I immediately wink to the very winking every wink of the world is love for the very world when I come back from the walking into the First House of All Beings I will look up the notebook in which I have been writing Immediately for 222 days Thank You and Immediately 222 days of the promotion of the Blue Rose and the Rose of Wandering 24th May 2004 this is written on the front page of the notebook here is the small diary of Immediately about immediately. I’m writing in order to celebrate immediately and so that immediately would celebrate me. immediately is respect for life and each moment. easiness which is created from the greatest hardships 25th May 2004 immediately is a being 26th May 2004 immediately (means liberation) for timelessness 27th May 2004 immediately is a shape in becoming 28th May 2004 I would love to do everything more and more immediately. to be empty, simple-hearted and serene 29th May 2004 only unconditional love is love isn’t it so
THIS
this is splendid this is one this is unique this primal this is divine by singing this I’m really singing only this this is always and only now this and now are one infinity and eternity beauty and goodness this is the only life this is the one which contains everything that is all the rest in which there is no everything but only the rest this is not lived because of all of that this is grass that is war these are the swallows those are the states this is tenderness that is the power this is the best one those are the best ones this is life that is death the same way that is overshadowing and destroying this that way certain someday is overshadowing and destroying now sometimes I’m writing about that and about someday as of horror and nothingness sometimes I spit on that and someday in front of somebody in order to make clear and understandable how all of that and someday are an illusion slavery and evil this is eternity that is transiency this is You which is me that is You which is that these are these five words t t h i s s
VLADIMIR FRANZ I REJOICE YOU
it’s a mystery of a blues singer, like Billie Holiday, to completely destroy themselves Janice Joplin not fighting for anything – living for everything sing to everybody state is an evil-doer everyone who works for a state is an evil-doer ministers MPs solders policemen teachers professors doctors actors singers… parents are educating their children not even knowing or actually knowing it too well that their children will become successful legal criminals and killers variations don’t mean the change variations are death for the change changing everything so that everything would stay the same here’s the mastery through which the powerful ones are ruling and turning human society into nothingness along the way attraction enjoyment hooking up binding tiredness boredom after some time comes braking up only to begin this tiring cycle all over again attraction enjoyment hooking up binding tiredness boredom animals create works of love about which man has no clue more magnificent than human man is not only destroying animals but also their masterpieces of love expressing the fear of the other means wanting to dominate that other it’s hard for me to socialise with people because most of them have property and work and I think that everyone should first get rid of their property and work system makes abysses among people through attraction enjoyment hooking up binding tiredness boredom people only make that abyss even deeper society is making huge effort to isolate a transformed man fairy-tale helps the transformed one this is the fairy-tale I don’t have a vision of art but I create the art of vision I am the first artist of all beings happy end is in the each beginning happy end in the part of the road resurrection is in the end hard beginning full of suffering and stuttering is often most wonderful and most beautiful part of the fairy-tale all people and all beings resurrect through this beginning p o e m j o i n s t h e t r a n s f o r m e d
TEARS ARE POURING DOWN
for one day I fill the container with cardboard
said nine year old Vidan to me. a boy from Padina who is collecting cardboard from the streets
rivers on the planet Earth are tears which
are pouring down from the hearts of good beings
only through all beings all beings are good
without all beings only good beings are good
tears of good beings are pouring for all beings
I’m not yet aware enough of Aaron’s love for me You all beings
if You could only see how Vidan marvelously run down the Valjevska street with the cart
I’m happy that I don’t have children so all the street kids are my children
I’m happy that I don’t have children so all the younglings are my children
shoals of fish
flocks of birds
bevies of evenings
bevies of daybreaks
I turn my head to the right and I’m watching through
the window late afternoon sun breaking through the clouds
sun rays are also rivers of tears which are
pouring down and running towards the light in each being
while tears are pouring down my face I’m the most fuckable creature in this world
let’s walk by my words
my words are singing through the tears which are flying like swans
my words are singing to the kids which never deceive
walk by my throat
I’m singing these words through mild movements of my butt cheeks
my words are singing to the children which
are giving their lives so that the very life would survive
history is the history not only of the winners but the history of grown ups
history is a lie because it’s not speaking of children
who are sacrificing so that the life would survive but children who
are sacrificed are mentioned so that it would be charged even more so
people are slaughtering and devouring
chicken lamb… meat unconsciously or rather very conscious
that by doing so they are slaughtering their own child-meat and devouring it
for the first time in the Miroslav Mandic I’ve mentioned – child-meat
child-meat is screaming in pain so that chicken meat would be freed from pain
child-meat is screaming in pain so that lamb meat would be freed from pain
child-meat is screaming in pain so that all younglings would be freed from pain
my
poem
save
all
beings
my
poem
sing
by
all
younglings
my
poem
celebrate
each
being
my
poem
croon
and
sing
yourself
through
god
yourself
and
you
two thousand one hundred seventy four
89TH TIME 33 DAYS
all street children in all streets of the world are the most magnificent beauty of this world all street children in all streets of the world are more marvellous beauty than all famous beauties of this world I love you all street children in all streets of the world one should be worthy of all street children in all streets of the world all street children in all streets of the world are hymns of agonies of human kind all street children in all streets of the world are the future of certain new more human world all street children in all streets of the world are the only citizens of this world all street children in all streets of the world are flowers of the cities of this world all street children in all streets of the world are the only hug of this devastated world sing hug transform petrified hearts in the chests of human kind do sing hoofs of free horses do sing soles of all street children in all streets of the world pouring tears are pouring eyes of roes are shimmering clouds are filling with tears in the bodies of all street children in all streets of the world lies the future of religions in the hearts of all street children in all streets of the world lies the future of science in the minds of all street children in all streets of the world lies the future of art there is no coming back with yesterday blessings I left through the roads of fairy-tales through the paths of poems though carouses through blessings of all street children in all streets of the world through heartbeats of all younglings through inextinguishable fire which is burning in the hearts of all those who have sacrificed themselves for all beings through the word dancing on my right calf through the word goodness on my right forearm through the word carefulness on my right shoulder through the word joy on my left shoulder through the word beauty on my left forearm through the word singing on my left calf
HEROISM THROUGH BLESSINGS
tenderness liberates from fears don’t hunt for sameness but surrender to the unexpected to the charming pigs which are rolling in the mud to the rose bud last night I started reading the book A People’s History of the United Sates by Howard Zinn it will be my break up with and farewell to the American culture I grew up on American culture many things adored in it adopted Indians blues jazz struggle against racism Walt Whitman Ralph Waldo Emerson David Henry Thoreau abstract painting conceptual art Billie Holiday Gertrude Stein now it’s finished with the American culture I despise the crimes and genocides that used to be and are still done by American culture crimes of American culture are only an icing on the cake of all previous crimes of leading cultures crime is nothingness and it cannot be the foundation of human society but it has been until now old tree trunks are the witnesses of all of that rocks are screaming about it constantly in spite of all that horror which was appearing to be the progress and which is still leading and enslaving the human society there have always been beautiful angels among people real history is a poem of one and only love of all beings the history of good will and transformation I want I want changes. I want is the change if a man wants to change he or she changes if a man doesn’t want to change he or she doesn’t change only all beings only each being likes all beings
HEROISM THROUGH BEING MARKED AND HAVING NO WAY OUT
Milomir’s suicide marked a life of nine year old Miroslav being marked continued through art when I was twenty through jail Rose of Wandering earing tattoos all beings fairy-tale singing Miroslav Mandic God people were staying away from me and they still do. I was also staying away from people and I still do so that I don’t jeopardise or hurt them with my views and beliefs I’m sixty three alone nobody near my loved ones don’t believe in me and my art they see me the same way I left in my youth and they wish me what I’m disgusted with they mock me because they can’t believe in what I’m doing and who I am they are embarrassed with me and silent about me they are betraying their yearning for me and through this suppression they are betraying with their secretiveness they are closing the ways of goodness and beauty between us they are silent about what I gave them and they cannot talk about me through intellectual loftiness they are betraying the depth of our common experiences they are identifying with their wishes thinking that they are identifying with me they have never introduced me to their loved ones they don’t share me with anybody but they keep me for themselves they are drawing me into their traumas and by doing so everything we are doing turns into tomfoolery they are forgetting who warmed their hearts and they are constantly arguing with me in their heads they are accusing me. they get miserable in front of me. they are madly closing up and unconsciously are fighting in order to dominate me they are favouring the society over the sanctity of our relationship they interpreting me according to the rules of their taste and of the present system they are lying about me and falsifying my words they would want to draw me into the existing lies they are trying to rationalise my inspirations and disturb my tranquillities they don’t make the difference between innocence and naivety. firmness and stiffness. obedience and passive obedience. sameness and similarity they are saying that they know me even though they know very little about me my efforts towards them they stultify with arbitrariness my absence from terminology and authority they are using for imposing their terminology and imposing their authority they are imposing their family on my family of all beings they get scared from being delighted with me so they run away and accuse me thinking my way is impossible and not accepting it they are offering theirs and they are angry when I reject them my admiration for wondrous they replacing with self-interest with realistic looking up to my dedication to art they are replacing it with their success in art my struggle with myself they are replacing with being miserable about themselves they are projecting their flaws and interpreting me through my flaws instead overcoming theirs they are limiting me with their experience instead throwing themselves into the limitlessness of relationship my beloved loved ones no-way-out is between us and that is now our only chance that we have together. that’s why help me to live even braver create even more miraculous sing even simpler i am and i am god
HEROISM THROUGH UNPROTECTEDNESS
I just left first ten Coffees of Courage for this year in the Street Children Shelter for the people who are taking care of them I hope that Coffees of Courage and good angles help me to live and work this year as well I hope that the abyss between me and my beloved ones will disappear I hope and pray that everything I live create and walk will every moment be dear to You all beings and God I’m getting wet in the rain and I’m happy I don’t speak to anybody – I sing to everybody large wet snowflakes are flying through the streets apropos of the wet snow I immediately remember the wonderful Dostoevsky’s sentence which enchanted me when I first read it my home is everywhere everyone is my shelter holly unprotectedness fills my heart while walking in step may unprotectedness with its hand on my shoulder be my wife while I’m walking I wrote in the book Boy Child it’s colder and more beautiful dusk is setting in as long as I dislike something on You, that shapes my being too and it still exists within me while coldness is warming up my body I’m thinking of the Gabriele Wittek’s sentence I’m thinking of the gardenings of myself which I was undertaking several times in my life it’s horrifying facing one’s own flaws it’s enchanting when I clearly see admit and start overcoming them insight and admitting are half of the work done in overcoming the flaws I would love to care less about my health to change the concern with Your or mine undertakings about health I would love to care less about money to be even more unselfish and fuckable I would love to care less about for my books material and immaterial works to enjoy in them and in their eternity I would love to have two-three kilos less and even if don’t to feel good and then the kilos will go away on their own I would love to be less angry and even when I do get angry to be angry even stronger freer and more carefree and easier and easier as well as calmer carry on my own way I would love to be less dependent from the need for a woman to feel Her presence and agreeing in every moment I would love that the abyss between me and my loved ones hurts me less and makes me less afraid to be both mother and father as well as wife and husband and daughter and son to everyone and everybody through solitude I would love to give less notice to what I despise to surrender myself even more so to the fragile ones and those I admire I would love to be less vain not to forget that I am the best and not to be afraid to be the best because that’s when the vanity disappears I would love to less glorify myself never to forget that I am God and not to be afraid that I am God because that’s when there is no any glorification I would love to be braver walk and walking I would love to be braver work and creating I would love to be braver poem and singing I would love to be braver God and divining
HEROISM THROUGH HUMBLE RADIANCE
little branches are sticking out of the snow simplicity invigorates I’m dragging my finger through the soft snow a boy is throwing snowballs to the German Shepherd dog who is catching them on the fly I got really cold I’m dozing off in the warm I’m thinking tender grannies I’m thinking fire I’m thinking the miracle of receiving humbleness permeates me small sips of strong brandy are warming me up from the inside raw spinach is waiting for me what is radiates Saturday within Saturday a pile of cut up wood a boy who is hanging on the fence of the football field red cherry which I’m thinking of in the middle of winter I’m thinking little ship in the open sea I fell asleep warmth is spreading and warms up what got cold within me I’m tenderly thinking of the humble radiance of the seven year old Ferdi who shouted this morning there’s Miroslav he was only in a thin jacket and I could see he’s cold I rubbed him to make him warm he was just smiling being radiant a boy hero hero of the life itself I lifted up the zipper of his jacket till the end and rubbed him once again he ran off filled with Ferdi within him a boy of the street red berry of a snowdrop in the snow flame
GRACE
warm air mild wind my back is shivering I’m closing my eyes and I surrender to the walking steps are braiding a dog is barking across the lake naked branches of the trees silent happiness because I’ve been drawing the Leaves for ten years Cesária Évora’s voice can be heard from a café – melancholy of the Cape Verdean the moment wind hummed in the branches it hummed in my heart as well a crow is cawing in the pebbles a host of sparrows is flying to another place the sparrows have abruptly flown away and shimmered with their shadows over the light on the asphalt a dog is running after his owner on the bike crows are bathing in the water seagulls are rocking on the lake’s waves grace gratitude I love wind the music of the wind when the wind stops sun rays are warmer I’m working the wind I’m working the sun I’m working the grace beautiful woman is watching at me from a café grace should be retained a woman who passed by me a half an hour ago has run around the lake and is running towards me a bug is walking through the hair of a blond woman who is bypassing me mild face of a man who is resting on a bench pebble my mate people should call wild animals free animals I am a woman who receives everything within her I’m a male who is ejaculating grace into all beings
HE SPED PAST ME WITH A SMILE
mothers from lower social classes will always put God in front of their children mothers from higher social classes will always put their children in front of God that’s a dead end in which higher classes have always been leading the society that’s the ego which makes a devil from ourselves and from a man primitivism backwardness behind the mask of civility and progress today I saw Jasmin Vidan’s older brother running down the Marshal Tolbuhin’s street with a cart full of paper I lifted my fist up in the air to cheer him enthusiastically he sped past me with a smile a dolphin of the street joy of being sings these words joy of writing sings this poem i’m enjoying the beauty of the words which meandering are putting love into the heart of each being word heart look me in the eyes says goodness to beauty look me in the soul says beauty to goodness I love-kiss you women who are love-kissing all beings going one’s own way not hurting anybody not teaming up being all beings I was longing for margarine it’s waiting for me god only god wow how beautiful you are poem mothers of lower classes are feeding their children with margarine generosity enchants relinquishment makes happy symmetry unites when one undertakes something one should undertake a little but to the end when one doesn’t undertake something one should not-undertake immediately and calmly rhythm melody harmony they are one to the one o n e a n d o n l y p o e m
I’M IN FLAMES
constantly constantly because of the never-ending life goodness of life never gets old beauty of sacrifice never dies flames of freedom never go out I’m in flames writing are the flames of freedom my writing is testimony of all the traces which have ever been made testimony of paradise which is destroyed by high-flown and impatient ones works of love of all of those who have sacrificed themselves are singing through freedom in my words freedom of all of those who have chosen death instead of slavery sings through each word of mine beauty of all vanished nations is reborn within me souls of killed ones are resurrecting through my consciousness in all beings everything that is disappeared and invisible lives within me and lights up all beings I haven’t spoken to anybody on Sunday so I haven’t said a single word I was an old rocks which radiates love first love through which everything was created I’m thinking of how all minerals plants animals spirits of nature people higher intelligence are making life one and only life which constantly lives and never dies life through which each being lives life through which each being lives to the very life life through which only all beings create love out of life look at anything and You will feel love in everything in the traces of wet soil on the asphalt in thrown away banana skin in green plastic bottle form which somebody was quenching thirst and now it’s so cold-bloodedly thrown away love is sometimes only a scream anything is the most valuable and most costly thing in the world millions of years are necessary so that anything could be loved poem of the beginning is also the beginning of a poem and the beginning of the very beginning everything that begins has no end only God is the same event in everything