Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog
You
are
407886
bud
I’M LOVE-KISSING
yesterday’s wet traces of soil on the asphalt have dried up when I wrote yesterday’s wet traces of soil on the asphalt have dried up I smiled and thought this is a poem in the beginning of Makish side of the lake an old German Shepard dog is every day lying in the middle of the path caw caw my beautiful crows I’m shouting at them cold wind was blowing by the lake so my bare hands were cold now I’m walking by the trees. there is no wind. my hands are warm warmth in my hands is spreading throughout my body into Your body bodies are one way of life celebrating itself bodies are fragile they are becoming and disappearing words as well are bodies which are actually becoming in front of Your eyes when I was young I was enjoying through body now I’m enjoying in body for body enjoying is the state of God six dogs on a little hill are barking on a big dog it’s slightly starting to rain I’m enjoying surrendering to the rain sex while in sex be only in sex do not stop mild rain you are so beautiful to me you smell of flowers violets cyclamens everything is flowers I couldn’t sing without flowers I couldn’t create without flowers I couldn’t walk without flowers I bowed my head rain drops are falling down my neck I lifted up my head rain drops are falling on my lips with rainy lips I’m love-kissing
I OF ALL BEINGS
Thanks to years long consistency and enduring in his own poetics, Brane Babic Kebra, along with few other creative people of different provenance, has become something like a symbol for everything that is authentic in the Novi Sad scene. A painter from Belgrade Sasa Stojanovic said about Kebra: “His shadow is extensively explaining his structurality and guaranteeing with his own life, which is articulated in singing and silence with Miroslav Mandic and Slobodan Tisma.” Even though artists which Stojanovic has mentioned are not a part of some joint project, it is clear that they have a lot in common (which is not only connected to the fact that they are coming from the same town). Each of them has somehow managed to escape “staling”, creating in cahoots with time in which their works have been created, and what is common for them is that they are prone to the experiment (all of them have tried themselves in several different media). Likewise, even in spite the NIN Prize which Slobodan Tisma has received, the general impression is that these are the artists who feel quite comfortable in their intimate world, almost a shadow, far from the crowd and ostentatious hubbub. That can be said also for the youngest among them, Kebra…
Vreme, January 17, 2013. A Man from the Shadow, an interview of Sasa Rakezic with Kebra
Violeta has sent me this beginning of the interview because she thinks that I wouldn’t agree with that these are the artists which feel quite comfortable in their intimate world yes the world in which I am is the world of all beings one and only world the world of I public human society is intimacy intimate is the world of people isolated from all beings states nations families are isolated from the human society culture and art in states are vents of closedness in which people live everything I live is the life of the one and only life I life my I and I of life is one I everything I sing is the hymn of freedom of all beings everything I sing is the each moment and everywhere love for everything – eternal art in the poem of all beings everything I walk is dance of God with all beings fairy-tale beginning first beginning one and only beginning freedom and beauty of anything truth and goodness of anybody anything is the only public one and only sex of all beings one and only language of all beings I of sex I of language I of all beings I of everything everything I’m singing creating and walking I’m walking creating and singing in front of all beings 86400 poems works and steps in 86400 seconds of every day for all beings You know that You are that greetings for Kebra Sasa Stojanovic Sasa Rakezic and Slobodan
I SQUARE
do something. if it works, carry on. if it doesn’t, do something else
Franklin Roosevelt
Tahrir Square has for two years now been the square of the planet Earth
love refines
love liberates
refinement in every emotion is a poem
enjoyment in each emotion is a poem
enjoyment in every step is a dance
borders disappear they turn into abysses
border is creating conflict
the abyss of love
mystical
I don’t live in intimacy
I live in the intimacy with all beings
society lives in the intimacy of its power and lie
insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results
Albert Einstein
I’m a mystic of all-love
I’m everything
publically
one and only experience
the square of singing
the square of the Hymn of Freedom of All Beings
I square
the square of one any only I
the square of one any only life
life by the Tahrir Square
the square of freedom in every being makes the square of love in the Universe
I love-kiss You I love-kiss You Mohamed Bouazizi
I love-kiss You Billie Holiday I love-kiss You and Your eyes
after refine courage and love of the people on the Tahrir Square one cannot be the same
worms are shouting as well
flies are also drinking wine of freedom
happy days are here again
WHO-LIKE
(in Serbian “ko” is “who”, but “k’o”, as a short from of “kao” is “like”. Here it means both, TN)
who-like
poem
is
god
who-like
friend
is
god
who-like
grass
is
god
who-like
geometry
is
god
who-like
ear
is
god
who-like
eye
is
god
who-like
wave
is
god
who-like
whirlwind
is
god
who-like
child
is
god
who-like
grace
is
god
who-like
love
is
god
who-like
voice
is
god
who-like
you
are-is
god
who-like
rose
is
god
who-like
path
is
god
who-like
change
is
god
who-like
loyalty
is
god
who-like
this
is
god
who-like
touch
is
god
who-like
computer
is
god
who-like
sex
is
god
who-like
money
is
god
who-like
creating
is
god
who-like
walking
is
god
who-like
goodness
is
god
who-like
beauty
is
god
who-like
mare
is
god
who-like
horse
is
god
who-like
health
is
god
who-like
play
is
god
who-like
innocence
is
god
god
is
who-like
who-like
god
only
god
one
and
only
god
who-like
god
is
god
HAT’S A GOOD CROP
who in like like in who and like that indefinitely question and answer I’m singing myself I’m creating myself I’m walking myself I’m directing myself i am you are i am god meandering identification transformation fairy-tale I’m living it through singing creating walking question is harder than an answer one question – many answers many questions – one answer it’s hard for me to bare bodies which are enslaved by vanity body is radiating vanity without its responsibility body is not to blame instincts are creating empty phrases and prejudices empty phrases and prejudice are multiplying instincts in a struggle of a bad and good wolf in oneself the one that wins is always the one we are feeding more decisive importance lies in trifles small mistake in the plane is crashing it big one no since it’s recognisable already on the ground I should do only what I should do that’s when I recognise that I want that as well God may it be Your will God’s will is to bear an apple my will is let the apple fruit fall off of me the essence of an apple tree is to give an apple an apple is I of an apple God’s will is that grapes give good crop and my will is hoeing weeding spraying and guarding the vineyard in order to make everything that God wants when I do it like that then I experience that I wanted exactly that that’s what’s making me happy that’s a good crop it’s not freedom not hoeing a vineyard freedom is god god in who who in god god in who and like that through meandering and intertwining in the very god
WHO ARE YOU
who
are you who are You is the first question of the work 24 Days 24 Questions 24 Answers every day I will ask Violeta Jovanovic Ivana Djokic-Saunderson and Mirjana Lukic the same question and they will answer and send their answers to me and to each other I’m beginning I’m thinking of moss if I lived in the human society I would have been a terrorist but I’m not for power secrets and violence and I also don’t live in the human society I live with mildness and openness in the community of all beings in which human society is only one tiny community in the community of all beings I live love and care for each being like of a new-born freedom in the communion is within joy of living for each other and not in hatred towards the other communion man will liberate itself as a species only when he starts teaming up for everything and not against somebody human society cannot cure itself and set itself free of its own horrors without all beings one and only body is one and only soul is one and only mind is there are no boundaries in human society I cannot set myself free of egoism and nonsense in human society I cannot set myself free of instincts and domination over beloved ones in human society I cannot set myself free of greed and bad taste in the essence I can change myself right away the essence are all beings immortality fairy-tale that is freedom I’m not a terrorist I’m a walker I’m not a terrorist I’m an artist I’m not a terrorist I’m a poet I’m not a man I am God walker is most caring because he’s love-kissing with each step artist is most carefree because he’s joy with each act poet is freest because he doesn’t want anything except for what already is god god is
FAIRY-TALE
I cannot carry on. I will carry on
Becket through Vera Varady
this is how I went through January
every last day of the month in this year I will give a report on got-spent-gave living
bread 6.5kg 796 dinars
Serbian bun 40 dinars
two flat breads 45 dinars
a roll 38 dinars
three bannocks 90 dinars
six pasties 250 dinars
seven bags of peanut sticks 166 dinars
five pies 385 dinars
mayonnaise 2.7 kg 778 dinars
margarine 0.25kg 75 dinars
two packs of pasta 120 dinars
herbal cheese 0.45 kg 189 dinars
brans 0.4 104 dinars
vegetables 3.37 kg 103 dinars
potatoes 0.25kg 12 dinars
tri bunches of parsley leaves 60 dinars
tomatoes 4.13kg 136 dinars
spinach 1.06kg 145 dinars
beetroot 1.6kg 100 dinars
two lettuces 45 dinars
carrots 0.15kg 10 dinars
celery 0.5kg 80 dinars
dried vegetables 0.4kg 184 dinars
seasoning 0.1 kg 111 dinars
sesame 0.45kg 161 dinars
spinach pottage 150 dinars
fruit 0.53kg 16 dinars
dried plums 0.5kg 100 dinars
seeds 174 dinars
two cream pies 300 dinars
twelve bags of powdered juice 304 dinars
two bags of hot chocolate 106 dinars
hot chocolate in a café 125 dinars
green wheat for Christmas 60 dinars
two packets of tea 106 dinars
three packets of prostate tea 614 dinars
valerian tincture 234 dinars
St. John’s Worth tincture 163 dinars
probiotic medication 421 dinars
wine 1.75l 456 dinars
sugar 1.0kg 85 dinars
two toothpastes 245 dinars
a box of paper handkerchiefs 90 dinars
toilet paper 110 dinars
shower hose 300 dinars
two tapes for the Blue Film 600 dinars
if I didn’t forget something and if I didn’t make a mistake in counting
and not counting food for Christmas which I got from
Violeta and Mirjana and not counting fruit I got just before the
New Year’s from Vladimir Macura and which lasted the whole January
I got altogether 294 euros
I spent 351 euros
for the rent and expenses 273 euros and for the food hygiene medications and work 78 euros
gave 86 euros to others
I was spending daily on myself 2,5 euros
the minus of 143 euros I took from 500 euros that I have left from the last year
it’s wonderful and difficult to write down each thing every day
it’s caring
as if I am a seed of anything
as if I am a sower and I’m sowing no matter what
I’m deepening the respect for each trifle
lordship
trifle is becoming a person
a dining table of joy
three bannocks 90 dinars hey
herbal cheese 0.45 kg 189 dinars hey
tri bunches of parsley leaves 60 dinars hey
two cream pies 300 dinars hey
twelve bags of powdered juice 304 dinars hey
valerian tincture 234 dinars hey
wine 1.75l 456 dinars hey
two toothpastes 245 dinars hey
shower hose 300 dinars hey
two tapes for the Blue Film 600 dinars hey
the richness of the got-spent-gave living
gentle humour overwhelms me
the presence of all beings embraces me
fairy-tale
mother fairy-tale
BLESSINGS AFTER MIDNIGHT
everything is in language language is in everything it’s past midnight I’m in bed I was praying to God I’m happy I’m happy because I’m praying I was telling Him that He’s splendid that through Him I am splendid myself that we are one one and only God and we were and we are I felt that everything is in words also unspeakable because unspeakable is in the word unspeakable I was two thoughts everything is in language language is in everything I got up to get the voice recorder and record it I have already pronounced that slowly in the dark under the blankets in the warm bed I would love to write in bed how do I feel in bed once or twice I was doing it I was struggling not to fall asleep until I write 33 blessings I was drifting off to sleep but I was waking up in order to write them all down sometimes I will write bed-blessings the same way I was just before midnight being half asleep dreaming happiness the very happiness happiness was happy happiness was only happy happiness and happy only happiness
MIROSLAV MANDIC A SHEPHERD OF THE BETTER ONES THEN HIMSELF
I know only one writer better than Beckett that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one poet better than William Carlos Williams that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one philosopher better than Wittgenstein that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one mystic better than Meister Eckhart that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one artist better than Ad Reinhardt that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one singer better than Billie Holiday that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one walker better than Robert Walser that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one woman-author better than Gertrude Stein that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one thinker of common cause better than Nikolai Fyodorov that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one actor better than Lee Marvin that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one Srdjan Valjarevic better than Srdjan Valjarevic that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one Violeta Ivana Mirjana better than Violeta Ivana Mirjana that's Miroslav Mandic I know only one day better than this 33rd day of the year that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one horse better than the horse that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one sparrow better than the sparrow that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one revolution better than the revolution that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one mountain peak higher than the Mount Everest/Kilimanjaro that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one plain more beautiful than Vojvodina that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one ball better than the ball that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one anything better than anything that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one change better than the change that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one modesty more modest than the modesty that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one simplicity more simple than the simplicity that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one courage more courageous than the courage that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one life better than the life that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one woman better than a woman that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one man better than a man that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one humour better than the humour that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one path better than the path that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one rose better than the rose that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one poem better than the poem that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one Miroslav Mandic better than Miroslav Mandic that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one oneness better than the very oneness that’s Miroslav Mandic I know only one God better than God that’s Miroslav Mandic the essence of God is that God is God of the better ones than Himself
MOTHER EARTH
mother Earth is a child of the Universe mother Earth is a sister to the Planets in the Universe mother Earth is a wife to the Sun mother Earth is a mother to each being on the planet Earth mother of fairy-tale to the child Earth mother of creation to the sister Earth mother of singing to the wife Earth mother of walking to the mother Earth I’m lulling You Earth I’m hugging You Earth I’m fucking You Earth I’m caressing You Earth good morning to You every morning Earth child good day to You every day Earth sister good evening to You every evening Earth wife good night to You every night Earth mother I’m dancing through Your circling around Yourself Earth wanderer I’m dancing through Your circling around the Sun Earth wanderer I’m dancing with You in Your circling through Your galaxy Earth wanderer I’m dancing with You while You’re dancing with all galaxies Earth wanderer through love created You’re giving love Earth through love raised You’re providing love Earth through love kissed You’re radiating love Earth through love protected You’re cherishing each being with love Earth I love Your earth my Earth I love Your water my Earth I love all beings that live on You my Earth I love Your story and fairy-tale about You my Earth child Earth of mine I’m loyal to You always and forever sister Earth of mine I’m Your brother always and forever wife Earth of mine I’m Your husband always and forever mother Earth of mine I’m Your tenderness always and forever snuggle up on my chest Earth of mine
FATHER UNIVERSE
Universe of enjoyment Universe of efflux Universe of blessed states Universe of self-recognition Universe of joy of the very life Universe of the grace of dancing Universe of the first letter Universe of the first number Universe of the first music Universe of the first physical exercises Universe of the first kiss Universe of the first love pain Universe of miraculous fuckings Universe of the sacrificing for ideals Universe of self-creation Universe of discontinuations Universe of guilt Universe of renunciation Universe of decisions and all-redemption Universe of new innocence Universe of one and only work which is more from all human works altogether Universe of the great path of wandering Universe of one and only rose Universe of one and only man who is more than all people together Universe of the Blue Rose in the Universe universe of the poem this is a tattooed poem to god through which god sings Universe of the temple of love on my temple Universe Your name is Miroslav Mandic Universe of all beings Universe of one and only I Universe of the one and only language of all beings Universe of the Hymn of Freedom of All Beings Universe of the universe bosket of God
GOD CHILD
a sparrow has flitted God a bitch has given birth God a snake has moulted her old skin God over there… in the distance… in the horizon the sky has fallen into the earth’s arms God galaxies of the Universe are wandering in the head God blossomed nest in the heart God a hand is caressing a paw God wind is carrying a condor with spread wings God a sea shell releases itself from the bottom of the sea and surrenders to the gulf to carry it God a soul is ripening through an oath God purple is curling up into itself God words in numbers. numbers in music. music in step God somebody somewhere God love spasms God clearness of unknowable God presence of unspeakable God invisible of the obvious God running towards God eye’s speech God indescribable beauty of genitalia God fathomless importance of the unimportant God incorruptible holiness of the plain God Gypsies God recognising oneself as the other God jackstone bud youngling child little angel are recognising themselves in God God budded blessings God rectitude of the unprotected ones God bread crumbs God victim God gift God smile God mind-ohm God a swallow in the blueness God
EARTH UNIVERSE GOD
one is the Earth one is the Universe one is God God Universe Earth they are one one body one soul one mind one will one and only love warmth is spreading through the body of all beings through each particle I’m a mother of all beings through each atom I’m a father through each cell I’m a child I am Earth Kaja is transformed into the mother of all beings I am Universe Milomir is transformed into the Universe God each being is a child for Miroslav I’m running through the street of existence I’m hopping through galaxies I’m vastness unity of beds a nerve one everything oneeverything everythingone face to face grace kiss bud
THE MONASTERY OF TIME
I’m reading my diary from ten years ago
everything is so different and yet even more the same
it was a year of the Monastery of Time
I was reading poets
every fifteen days new poet
twenty four poets throughout the whole year
I was reading in front of ten or more people in several apartments
I started reading at midnight of the new 2003
I continued on 15th January 2003 at 1am
that’s how I was circling through the whole year
meandering through time
the symbol of the Monastery of Time is meandering cross
I was reading and being a poet who I was reading
I was reading and explaining with enthusiasm
it lasted four-five hours and even more
I was being a poem and a poet
being William Carlos Williams
1st January 2003 at 12am
being Samuel Beckett
15th January 2003 at 1am
being Jorge Luis Borges
1st February at 2am
being Petar Miloradović
15th February at 3am
being Charles Bukowski
1st March at 4am
being Fernando Pessoa
15th March at 5am
being Gertrude Stein
1st April at 6am
being Robert Walser
15th April at 7am
being John Cage
1st May at 8am
being Friedrich Nietzsche
15th May at 9am
being Arthur Rimbaud
1st June at 10am
being William Blake
15th June at 11am
being Bible
1st July at 12pm
being Lazarov Miordag Pashu
15th July at 1pm
being Jean Genet
1st August at 2pm
being Allen Ginsburg
15th August at 3pm
being Slobodan Tišma
1st September at 4pm
being Velimir Khlebnikov
15th September at 5pm
being Emily Dickinson
1st October at 6pm
being Jalaluddin Rumi
15th October at 7pm
being Antonin Artaud
1st November at 8pm
being Friedrich Hölderlin
15th November at 9pm
being David Henry Thoreau
1st December at 10pm
being Srdjan Valjarevic
15th December at 11pm
the Monastery of Time is the yearning of my body of my soul and my mind for poetry
everything originates from poetry and is going back to poetry
I was reading patiently
slowly
I was repeating
reviving
radiating
created the Monastery of Time
it was fucking good
I was reborn through the Monastery of Time
it was beautiful how universality of the world of a one
poet replaces the universality of the world of the other
ten years ago at this time I have already red W. C. Williams, Beckett and Borges
from fifteenth of April I will be reading them again
after ten years and I will mention them in the Miroslav Mandic
and all important things that I read in my diary I will mention in the Miroslav Mandic
it will be a work
What Was Ten Years Ago
in 2014 what was in 2004
in 2015 what was in 2005
in 2016 what was in 2006
in 2017 what was in 2007
in 2018 what was in 2008
…
constant love and constant singing
God only God
A BUD OF FAIRY-TALE
my dear friend we don’t have to see each other ever again but if we do see each other I would love it to be innocent like buds in a fairy-tale we are born innocent through living we are losing innocence we are losing innocence through worry the life in which and through which we have lost innocence is the best place to create new innocence in innocence of freedom innocence of surrendering oneself innocence of giving oneself innocence is the only hope innocence is the only faith innocence is the only love if You’d love to keep on loving me please help me finish my life and work every day so that I carry on living walking creating every day in one and only Fairy-Tale of All Beings to God You and all beings grace fairy-tale is coming onto me more and more more and more do I see that everything is only a fairy-tale a wife is God’s innocence to a husband a fairy-tale dear to God You and all beings a husband is God’s loyalty to a wife a fairy-tale gentle to God You and all beings a bud of fairy-tale is a fairy-tale of bud I am the resepath walking in the Fairy-Tale of All Buds for the first time rose and path are joined in one word I am the bud creating the Fairy-Tale of All Beings I am fairy-tale singing All Buds of the Fairy-Tale God god you all beings rosepath fairy-tale bud hey You god you all beings rosepath fairy-tale bud hey all beings god you all beings rosepath fairy-tale bud hey rosepath god you all beings rosepath fairy-tale bud hey fairy-tale god you all beings rosepath fairy-tale bud hey bud god you all beings rosepath fairy-tale bud hey one and only poem
THAT GIRL WITH EARRINGS
I saw That Girl With Earrings several times always on the street first time four-five years ago several times on the Boulevard once in Pozeska Street and on Saturday in the Bread and Rolls restaurant she was always alone special through self-observation which walks with huge earrings short hair unusual new but old-fashioned clothing with small purse very noticeable she was walking by firm and fragile steps stamping the heels on the asphalt a sparrow I wished to show her thumbs up as a sign of support I love her because she is so noticeable but unprotected I admire everybody who is courageous That Girl With Earrings is courageous I’m tenderly thinking of You That Girl With Earrings I’m tenderly thinking of anybody who is courageous courage is love love is unity of all beings unity of all beings is freedom That Girl With Earrings rejoice That Girl With Earrings be serene That Girl With Earrings You are a sanctity of unknown ones That Girl With Earrings be a hostess to everything and a guest to everyone That Girl With Earrings meander through Yourself like a Universe which meanders through You That Girl With Earrings thank You for a long brave look You gave me on Saturday That Girl With Earrings You are in my heart forever
A SHOCK WITH A CLOSE PERSON HAPPENED TO ME AFTER I ALREADY WROTE THE BLESSINGS
wind is blowing it excites raises it carries plastic bags over the road it flutters through the smoke from the poor people’s chimneys it’s triggering my tears I’m going up the Marshal Tolbuhin’s Boulevard towards Zarkovo I’m going to Bread and Rolls to give five Coffees of Courage to the kind bakery woman it’s a year now that I feel pain in my chest it was followed by the pain in my stomach as well I’m smiling hoping it will go away I would really love to have a jacket which reaches the ankles I gave Coffees of Courage to Jagoda I love unknown ones I’m going down and surrendering to Zarkovo streets I slanted my head I’m swaying with my body I believe in You as agreeing follow-up and complementarity divine sameness alone – one to everybody alone – everything to everyone wind is more and more exciting I’m enjoying in branches which are swaying the roar of the wind revives anciency within me when the wind blows in my back I feel it like hands of a gentle friend leftover snow in the grass looks like white flowers I’m walking with my eyes closed I’m caressing my face with the face of the world splendour of the struggle for all people hideousness of the violence against all people soon buds will start coming out I am a grapevine I just thought to myself a man accidentally hit my hand with his bag and I dropped the voice recorder on the asphalt I’m holding voice recorder in my hand and quietly crying
EVERYTHING IS GOOD
in spite of yesterday’s shock i’m love-kissing just love-kissing I’m singing i’m singing and love-kissing incomparable gentle prettily dear I love-kiss the very shock I love-kiss in spite as well in spite is not a spite in spite is all-joy one and only joy nobody is alone everything is good what is beautiful about everything is that everything is good I’m afraid to get into anything said to me on Thursday 23rd May 2002 one young woman a crack is in front a crack is not in-between or at the back in front of a crack one should step on and fly over it flying over is wholeing people freeze up in front of a crack one doesn’t need neither talent nor knowledge for flying over only courage courage I bowing down in front of You for courage one needs fear of God what is fear of God to religion it is paranoia to atheism i’m dancing and singing not stopping I’m receiving God I’m constantly getting into God whoever wanted to kill God God let them kill Him Woman In Early Middle Age Who Are Afraid To Get Into Anything I love-kiss You getting into is an experience of God the very God God is getting into God divine service is getting into God mild smile i am god unexpected joy today’s poem i am god
WHAT WAS ELEVEN YEARS AGO
I’m reading my diary from 2002 because to the work What Was Ten Years Ago? I’m joining year 2002 as well here’s what was eleven years ago 6:32pm Oath to Love as always. decisions. opting this Oath to Love I’m dedicating to Dragana Varadinac Rajka and Kaja Monday 14th January 2002 I’m terribly alone. it’s a dangerous living Tuesday 22nd January 2002 Kebra gave me his new CD If I’m Not Good What Happens Then? on which I’m singing the Rose of Wandering Wednesday 30th January 2002 my guides – my loyalty – my marriage great artists great art one man friends dedication God 6th February 2002 Nandhan and Branko came for a Neighbours’ Coffee I want to be the most beautiful birth in the most beautiful world 17th February 2002 I’m looking for allies for my poem 26h February 2002 alone. that is the struggle with myself for which I opted in my youth. it’s what young people from the sixties were calling drop out 13th March 2002 one beautiful maybe new so far unknown to me feeling about respecting myself 15th March 2002 wow – for a moment I don’t even exist from solitude 16th March 2002 finished the book I am You are Him 3 19th March 2002. the book I later called I Name the most important is walking. you and Robert Walser understood that the best – said Slobodan Tisma to me a drawing of radiance of the Blue Rose which I created in the Universe next to which is written this is my primary work 20th March 2002 I signed the Thin Line to Violeta. a work worth 5700 DM 28th March 2002 I’m not taking part in the census because I don’t belong to this state and this human system 2nd April 2002 I’m enjoying solitude and inactivity. that is an art of caressing 4th April 2002 for ten days now I’m shaving my hair by my temples it is dedicated to Indians and all disappeared nations 10th April 2002 morning silence. being happy for the happiness of all beings 16th April 2002 the most important is one man = all people 19th April 2002 little sparrows are plucking the shoots of the geranium in the evening I felt worthless. that’s why the most important is to be constantly aware that life lives from my breathing and to joyfully breathe 21st April 2002 poet of the universe performer of the one and only body artist of the soul 26th April 2002 I’m walking barefooted. that is so important 29th April 2002 this morning I saw a swallow for the first time this year and I said to myself I am the harem of love 1st May 2002 thank you God for the wonder and beauty of sex with which you have bestowed me like joy of your being 3rd May 2002 cosmic rose garden – consciousness. temple of the soul – conscience. harem of love – joy that is basically what I am. and what I am that’s what I do 13th May 2002 my problems with others because of my shyness and great strength therefore I can hardly blossom by the people because nobody can receive the whole story 22nd May 2002 this morning during the walk my school friend Mita Bajic told me I admire you even though people consider you as a madman Thursday 23rd May 2002 I would love to read poetry to somebody 30th May 2002 I would love to do: 1000 Times Thrown Balls to Unknown Girls and Boys 2nd June 2002 when I get into you solitude will start singing 6th June 2002 it would be nice to write about pussy like deity cock and pussy like hidden God 7th June 2002 I am very fragile. frail. I would flare up. quickly burn out. I don’t have experience with people. and I’m also infinitely bored with their warriorship 19th June 2002 at the moment I’m sensitive like a penis head. I’m ashamed see you tomorrow as well in 2002
WHAT ALSO WAS ELEVEN YEARS AGO 2
swallows are flying like the very joy. when I’m watching them I get excited
23rd June 2002
ach – I am a citizen of the Universe
everything is changing only love doesn’t and stays the same – I said to Nandhan today
25th June 2002
I found in the Rose of Wandering 2 wonderful Maximus the Confessor’s
sorrow is connected with resentment and if being reviled you are blessing
2nd July 2002
Vera phoned me from Budapest and told me that she thought that if she died in
an airplane crash nobody would miss her. and then she thought Miroslav would miss me
10th July 2002
I’m enjoying the fact that I have read all ten books of the Rose of Wandering for
ten days and saw that main event was creating the blue rose six days before the end
11th July 2002
I feel more and more isolated. almost the only one outside of the system
17th July 2002
I’m ashamed because I suffered so much for women that
I loved and that I missed. I would love that from today I suffer less
(for Dragana Varadinac) and to be more happy and only to love. God give
19th July 2002
I bought blue velvet to make bracelets for sleeping
to be love in sleep as well. so that each heart beat is love
22nd July 2002
while swimming I’m thinking and shaping books and ideas. I’m enjoying. that is
God which lives in me. which swims with me. which swims with my help in his Danube
29th July 2002
beautiful feeling of confidence in my balls and cock for you my God – my woman
11th August 2002
it’s heroically being alone
18th August 2002
at 2:50pm I put an earring on my left ear. remembering today’s miracle of
God’s love. so that my woman is with me. because I’m the only son. the only son of God
22nd August 2002
11:46am I feel good only when I love and when I wish good to the other
26th August 2002
after fifteen days my confidence is back a bit. I’m glad that in all that
great pain, loss, emotional tornados I never lost values. I never betrayed
the cause. God. woman. myself. I am God woman art. in the evening I became
sad when I felt that nobody ever believed in me to the end. that gives me strength
6th September 2002
crazy solitude
it’s simple. to a man who is for one man greater than all people together
one woman who is for one woman greater than all people together is coming. everything
depends only on one and only man. as for me everything depends on one woman
14th September 2002
at 3:26pm I experienced something miraculous: God is alone because not even I
love him enough. then I started to cry and say: I love you, I love you, I love you God
at 4:18 I wrote down: God You are not alone any more, my life is Yours
16th September 2002
morning greeting from seventeen year old neighbour girl from the fifth floor
this morning meant a lot. she smiled along with the greeting like a sixteen year old girl
I’m crying in order to live
17th September 2002
completely alone. God art me. and you. I won’t be praying for Dragana, Violeta
Mina. I’m alone. everything is starting all over again. alone for you completely forever
in next eight days eight blue icons are coming
18th September 2002
I’m sick and tired of people’s weaknesses. of falling in love. of relationships
of betrayals. sufferings. self-pities. lies. seductions. conquests. no! no! no!
19th September 2002
I’m on my path which I started on 9th August 1973
towards you, because it was already back then your path, dear God
24th September 2002
a man is afraid to look at its own light – Bela Hamvas
I’m aware that without dedication of a woman to my work and my God I’m remaining
alone. thank you my cock, my mild innocence – towards the light within me, towards God
25th September 2002
in the afternoon I was crying because I got sad recognising that I’m not
a good man and when at moments in a day I feel my innocence and purity as
well as goodness, I’m happy. I’m happy and my heart is filled with joy. God give
26th September 2002
miraculous sufferings which are very painful and so liberating
I was talking about my sin because I was working more than I loved
27th September 2002
100% into 101 % is art
29th September 2002
I’m ashamed because I’m alone. delightful experience when I watched people in
the street and all of them were beautiful. only to watch and love them. how delightful is
that you can’t do anything so that somebody loves you. what a powerlessness is that! it’s
even more delightful that I have freedom to love or not love. of course, to love, to love
unconditionally. guilelessly. not even to know that I love. God give
7th October 2002
to do everything to love. to be lover – and to forget that. to love and not
even to know that I love. I’m ashamed that I’m alone. I should be gentle like a girl
8th October 2002
a beautiful feeling that forty eight days after 20th August 2002 in my hellishness
were the clearest days of my life – a period of love. that is the work of God, Dragana
and me. a poem of love which is not dying. magic which is pouring. Violetamo called
12th October 2002
before midnight magical love making. every love making is dedicated to God
17th November 2002
God give that when it’s time for me to die to die with joy as a gift to You
1st December 2002
oh – a wonderful idea. 24 readings of poetry on each 1st and 15th of a month
a temple of poetry. poetry of a temple for monks and nuns of poetry. thank God
22nd December 2002
I’ve cleaned Zuza’s and Zoltan’s miry shoes. that made me
joyful. remembering Kaja who was doing that for guests. remembering
a girl form the seaside who cleaned my shoes on the First Walking for Poetry
29th December 2002
first I called Alexander my Tisma. he is sick. I was getting worse and worse each
minute – he told me. he smiled few times during the conversation. live wonderful man
30th December 2002
and
then
I Am William Carlos Williams
reading of William Carlos Williams’ poetry in the Monastery of Time on 1st January 2003 at 12am
I Am Samuel Beckett
reading of Samuel Becket’s poetry in the Monastery of Time on 15th January 2003 at 1am
I Am Jorge Luis Borges
reading of Jorge Luis Borges’ poetry in the Monastery of Time on 1st February at 2am
I Am Petar Miloradović
reading of Petar Miloradovic’s poetry in the Monastery of Time on 15th February at 3am