Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog
You
are
416909
bud
I LOVE YOU TOO STRONG
I’m licking my lips I’m a navel of Your immortality love redeems death Marinko Sudac called me after five years and made me really happy one flower is more valuable than all the banks in the world – I said to Marinko Sudac subordination is the most effective technique of power and success for creation and poetry subordination is nothingness only a poet creates an artist only an artist writes of a poet all beings live through poem poem is created by an artist and wrote by a poet work is written by a poet and created by an artist Marinko – everything is so dear Marinko – everything is so mild Marinko – everything is so sweet every movement of the body is called Rajka every feeling is called Dusica every thought is called Milica every sigh is called Nada every exhale is called Vera an encounter is called Radojka kiss Ljubinka smile Ruzica gift Darinka fucking Nevena courage Slobodanka Marinko – the best ones are the worst because they are silent about they lock up and kill the best one Marinko – success is the greatest obstacle to creating and poetry my love I’m constantly saying my love to everything and everybody I would love to say my love to everybody and everything air is so mild birds are surrendering to it with their spread wings
NOW SHE BELIEVES HIM AND LIVES FOR HIM
You go. go fast – sais a girl on the bicycle to a young man in front of her I took off the jacket. I took off the shirt it’s over twenty degrees. it’s been said that this winter is going to be very cold don’t run away. what’s wrong with You – sais the girl with a smile to the young man the most important word in the Universe at the moment are these fourteen words who believes me will experience the truth and beauty of the previous blessing who doesn’t believe me they will be pissed off or think what a fool while thinking of the levels of creation I notice how I’m gently touching over the t-shirt my right nipple a girl set down on the pebble beach. she took off her left sneaker and the sock from her left foot. now she is untying the laces on the right sneaker whoever felt the importance of fourteen cosmic words they will feel the same about the girl’s laces laces. straps. belts. bracelets. tails. wings exactly because I feel deepest sympathy with those who are killed wounded enslaved and deported in all wars of the world it should be said that the war except for the crimes and looting is in its essence greatest banality triviality and kitsch I’m really enjoying this woman and the man that are the most harmonious couple I saw in past few years I wanted to make few more photos of this dog but he got scared and run away ladybirds are flying today as well yesterday I’ve decided that on Tuesday 9th November 2010... I’m really rejoicing the fact that I’ve made that decision I’d love to celebrate that with somebody but nobody is around a young man and a girl are releasing the kites on the lake shore the most harmonious couple has set on the wooden fence and they are sunbathing young black cat is rubbing against my feet while I’m taking photos of her and when I mention God then they are rally pissed off I think speak and do what I believe in I make a step – dancing I make a step – singing I make a step – kissing I make a step – fucking sunlight is overflowing the water fountain in rainbow colours yesterday a young Carmelite nun who got ordained helped me a lot goodness of one and only being beats all that is not good with all other beings that is the beauty of one and only being I’m thinking of beings that burn out with greatest speed through the cosmic space so that they don’t hurt other beings my love it was like this. one woman and one man have lived together but they didn’t love each other enough because it’s hard to love and live together one day a man said to a woman that he loves her so much he would die for her she didn’t believe him but he really died for her
SPREAD MY LOVE
ten more days till 9th November 2010 always till the end the end is now now is eternity while walking calmly I’m thinking of 9th November 2010 with great excitement I walked half of the circle around the lake with Jelena. in the end I told her that she should celebrate 9th November with me on her own or with somebody during the solemn lunch Marinko Sudac phoned me yesterday and said Miroslav I will call you every day from today Marinko phoned me a moment ago and said you went under my skin and into my heart with the Monday poem I asked Marinko that instead of me he calls somebody else every day so that the love would spread I asked Marinko as well to celebrate 9th November with me on his own or with somebody I kiss your thoughts. your Milica Milica sent me text message you are kissing thoughts beautifully my love I answered Milica everything that exists is my love today I’ll buy grapes I haven’t eaten a lot of grapes this year I adore grapes an old gentleman took off his socks and set on the upper part of the bench with the pencil in his mouth I’m taking a photo of autumn vermilion grapes of immortality with the immortality of grapes I sent a text message to Zelimir Zilnik on Saturday at half three on Zeleni Venac Zelimir and me will have bread and grapes for lunch Zelimir and me are having bread and grapes for lunch for few years now come to eat bread and grapes or potato broth when the grapes are gone and winter comes come whenever come no matter to who come to the trees God is love You are love poem is love art is love walking is love I’m off to the grapes to my love
SAME-THINKING
five more days to 9th November 2010 God created God for himself while I was washing the balcony I was God one is the God while drawing Blue Rose I thought of Vesna’s words that I would love to hear from her while drawing 64 Buds I thought of Violeta’s words that I would love to hear from her while stretching out I thought of Srdjan’s words that I would love to hear from him while getting ready for going out I thought of Sun’s words that I would love to hear from him I felt tranquillity after those words when I think what I would love to hear from You I enjoy and I wonder how comes that we think the same don’t yell – mother is yelling at her son I’m watching how yellow leaves are falling in the warm sunny day it’s autumn. winter is coming. after winter comes spring. then summer. it’s autumn it’s always autumn it’s always winter it’s always spring it’s always summer then I tried from eight kilos because those holes are too wide for him but only blac could be heard – a girl is saying to an older woman look look this is like a confetti sais one woman to another showing her leaves that are falling look at me look how I love-kiss You all those years I’m practicing to unnoticeably take photos of passersby every passerby is a hero of my gaze I always rejoice when this lively sixteen year old girl walk passes me. I hope one day I’ll take photo of her by living myself I live for everybody through living me You live for Yourself if You feel what I feel now You will live up to what You want to feel if You see me You will see Your face you put on the brakes and then you let go. feet on the pedals and watch in front of you a father on the bike is saying to his son who is learning how to ride a bike how long and thin weeping willow branches are it’s important and sanative to love the trees I’m coming back from the lake and I remember the beautiful state I was in while washing the balcony it’s great when nothing is happening because then everything just is a dog is watching what I have in the plastic bag
IF YOU EVER NEED A WALL CLOCK
four more days till 9th November 2010 I hope that 9th November will be the most important day of my life until now in order for 9th November to be the most important day in my life until now it’s necessary that every moment of my life is the most important in order for every moment to be the most important in my life it’s important that the moment of my death is such as well in order for the moment of my death to be the moment when all beings are rejoicing it’s necessary that I rejoice dying as well in order to rejoice dying at the moment of dying I should be dying every day every moment I’m dying and every moment I’m resurrecting but I’m rarely aware of it Miroslav Mandic from the beginning of blessing in the end of it is not the same Miroslav Mandic in order to be identical with myself it’s necessary that I’m constantly changing in order to be unchangeable it’s necessary to transform myself constantly spiritually and creatively one percent one percent ten percent hundred percent twenty percent hundred percent thirty percent hundred percent forty percent hundred percent fifty percent hundred percent sixty percent hundred percent seventy percent hundred percent eighty percent hundred percent ninety percent hundred percent ninety nine percent hundred percent hundred percent hundred and one percent life like and realistically one percent one percent ten percent ten percent twenty percent twenty percent thirty percent thirty percent forty percent forty percent fifty percent fifty percent sixty percent sixty percent seventy percent seventy percent eighty percent eighty percent ninety percent ninety percent ninety nine percent ninety nine percent I’m going to Sun’s but I’ll buy a wall clock on my way because the other one is broken after all you’ll find out who you are if you carry water graffiti on a fence I felt that You know I love You every word of mine love-kisses You when I read Miroslav Mandic I feel he love-kisses me I haven’t found the clock but I had a nice conversation with the salesman who I bought the clock from last time in this shop as well the salesman was joyful and kind he asked me immediately do I want a broken or proper clock I bought the same one that I have in the living room. it cost only 190 dinars. the hands on the clock can be heard. there are no quiet ones I have shallow sleep and I like to look through the room and see what the time is on the big clock while going down the Maxim Gorky street I’m permeated with wonderful modesty God doesn’t need to be said who is God – watch Him hug Him love-kiss Him live Him while walking up the Maxim Gorky street I’m smiling with no reason a pigeon is flying in front of the bus I’m walking really slowly through Pozeska street and enjoying I’m like somebody I’m like anybody I’m hurt when somebody speaks bad things about me faster and faster after that pain I feel pleasantness those who are speaking bad things about me are also my love calm from slow walking I saw and bought in the Chinese shop beautiful silent clock for five hundred dinars the one who love-kisses can do everything and wants to do everything
I LOVE-KISS CELEBRATION I LOVE-KISS
three more days till 9th November 2010
this morning Werther killed himself
They are loaded – the clock strikes twelve! I say amen.
Charlotte, Charlotte! farewell, farewell!
last Werther’s words I’ve read this morning
to celebrate love to celebrate
my celebrations throughout the year
1st January
beginning of the year. since 2006 also the beginning of Miroslav Mandic book as well as
the third ten year picture of the Blue Rose and first ten year film Blue Film
7th January
Little God’s birthday
2nd February
33rd day of the year
8th March
decision to walk that I made in 1983
26th March
Kaja’s passing away
24th May – 4th June
twelve days of writing 144 Definitions of Art
1st June
first June again
4th June
Kaja’s birthday
6th June
Milomir’s birthday
14th July
beginning of the work One Man in 1971
9th August
decision to go the way of the sky in 1973
9th August – 15th September
33 bows
15th August
Milomir’s passing away
15th October
decision to get engaged in art again in 1980
9th November
going to prison in 1972
going on the Rose of Wandering in 1991
9th November 2010...
21th November
Archangel Michael’s day
4th December
birthday
25th December
Little God’s birthday
I celebrate
Easter
four seasons
the moment I see first snowdrops
the moment I see first swallows
the moment I see first poppies
first baby potatoes
first lettuce
first swimming
first grapes
swimming across Danube
I celebrate modestly with joy in my heart
I celebrated with my close ones and I celebrated on my own
celebrating delights
I would love if You would celebrate 9th November with me
wherever You are and whoever You are
to feel the peace in joyful soul and fervour in calmed mind
so Your body smells with health and ease
to feel the grace towards all beings and grace of all beings towards Yourself
so that every word is glory to itself and glory to the next one
I’m off to eat bread and grapes with Zelimir Zilnik
DANGER OF LIVING
one more day till 9th November 2010 I invite You to celebrate 9th November 2010 with me celebrate it in white celebrate it more beautiful than ever celebrate it braver than ever celebrate it with those who You love celebrate it with five hour fucking with insight across the landscapes of Your soul through thinking gently of the yearned for with the words that You don’t dare but You want to say aloud through celebratory drink accept the rejected ones through celebratory mouthful feed the hungry ones through celebratory hope fill in the hopeless ones through celebratory right repay to the disempowered ones unknown woman I adore You unknown man I admire You unknown I trust You rain drizzles. I’m walking slowly. it’s not cold. I’m dozing off a bit to be worthy of giving I’m looking forward to the next day but I’m also a bit sad because I’m almost always alone when something begins if You knew Yourself You would have never addressed me like that if You knew me You would have never sent me that if You respected Yourself You would have apologised to me if You loved Yourself You would have addressed me tenderly I love-kiss love-kiss love-kiss You – once the closet one to me – now so unknown every photo of Your pussy we would have sold for 144 Euros and we would have lived eternally and like millionaires younglings of all beings live in me and make me worthy of childhood I bow to the dangers of growing up I fuck with the dangers of living twilight slowly falls I’m leaving another word or two mild glance
THE DAY OF ALL BEINGS – MIROSLAV MANDIC DAY
with
this
poem
I
declare
ninth
November
the
day
of
all
beings
313th day in the year
2139th day of Miroslav Mandic book
I was waiting for this all of these days
I lived that all these years
on 9th November 1972 I went to jail. I was twenty three years old
and deadly crises were waiting for me. I didn’t know it will be my second birth
and after nineteen years
on 9th November 1991 I went on the Rose of Wandering
ten year walking. ten year writing. ten year drawing
and after nineteen years
9th November 2010 became the day of the birth of all beings
all beings got their day
all beings got their home
enough with hegemony
after thirty eight years it’s not necessary that I do anything but just to declare
peace peace
love love
immortality immortality
everything is my wife
I am husband to everything
all beings are my children
I’m outside. it’s cloudy but warm. I’ll be walking for a bit. in the Nest
I’ve left the table covered with white sheet on which there are two glasses
two plates and the candle. I would like to go back as soon as possible in order to have a toast to the birthday of all beings. I straightened up and I felt the singing of the
tattooed poem on my back
this
is
tattooed
poem
to
God
through
which
sings
God
I’m walking next to the lake. I’m thinking of the 9th November 1972 in which I went to jail
I was a young wounded beast. declared guilty and sentenced to be shot
that day I woke up as a free man in the little apartment of Kaja Mandic in
Patrijarh Carnojevic street 19 in Novi Sad and I ended up disempowered
in the upper bed of the quarantine cell of the jail in Sremska Mitrovica
I’m watching the water of the lake and I’m thinking of 9th November 1991 when
I went on the Rose of Wandering from London. everything that existed
depended just on me and one Blue Rose was waiting to be created
but I was the most powerless creature in the world
I begun at noon with the first step from the Earth and after ten years
of walking I managed to make the last step in the Universe
today on 9th November 2010 I’m joyful because I saw by the lake
Little Vivacious Six Year Old Girl and because I just bought three autumn roses
they smell of childhood and celebrations that have guarded us from the miseries of life
those were the celebrations of heavenly life before death came
I’m sitting at the table and celebrating – I’m renewing the paradise in all beings
celebration is a heavenly state in which death doesn’t exist
to You
immortality of fucking confirms the fuckability of immortality
to me
9th November 2010 opened me up for all days in the year. that singing is in front
of me. I will sing it from the spring next year in the fourth book of I am you are him...
to God
1st January – day of the Buds of All Beings
8th March – day of walking
4th December the day of my birth – day of dancing
? the day of my death – day of singing
...
all
those
who
celebrated
today
with
me
are
my
body
soul
and
spirit
of
God
my
eternal
poem
through
which
I
kiss
you
with
all
beings
DAY AFTER THE DELIVERY OF THE DAY OF ALL BEINGS
first day after 9th November 2010 I love even more Jean Jacques Rousseau and all those who I loved fragile-like free-like god-like I’m existing through years long – yesterday’s – labour of all beings I’m empty. I’m walking like a leaf on the wind one runaway child is joining my soul I’m taking a photo of the green scarf carried by the wind all-like holly-like fuckable-like wind is really lilt You and I love each other because we love sparrows canes on the wind not to do anything just to love-kiss each other orgasm-like loyally-like immortally-like few days ago I started reading Rebecca Solint’s book Wanderlust – A History of Walking my name is I Would Love To Be You I am fire and I never play with fire my name is I Would Love If You Would Fuck Me I am Universe and I’m constantly in the Universe my name is I Would Love To Devote Myself To You I am a road and I’m always travelling with one rose I enjoy in those who surrender themselves to the others I adore those who transform themselves into the others I am transformation dew-like same-like instantly-like my name is You Love-Kiss Me With Your Words bud-like
VIGNETTES
I’m watching a magpie flying across the sky two sparrows are chasing each other from one tree to the other I will button up the upper button on my shirt after all I will cross on the other side of the street because of the change I jumped on the pavement with no reason like those two boys I also walk over the narrow roadside practising the balance is a good thing brain likes to be massaged mind mind-me mind-me-art a rat run into this hole at first I felt few drops of rain on my face and then I saw it on the water here is the rain on the asphalt as well rain loves to be loved by me I also love to love rain for many years I’ve walked by the Danube – the water that runs now I’m walking around the lake – the water that is still a grebe came out of water with a little fish in his beak I always thought of a lake as of an eye a crow has put its beak in the bag with peanuts a bee has flown down to the dandelion there was a bee on the other dandelion as well people with learning difficulties who are poignantly holding each other’s arms are coming towards me ten crows are walking around the woman who is sitting on the lakeshore it’s expecting more food from her this is the music of pebbles I’m walking over I wrote the word pebble with blue pebbles and took the photo of it trees are bare. it’s peaceful. it’s drifting into the dream two grebes are fighting around the fish two people are kissing on the path a man approached a man who is peeling off the paint from the door and told him good work and what did they do in the end – younger woman asks the older one I saw Ivana off with a boat across the Sava. she went to Ada Medjica with friends I’m coming back with a boat. I’m watching the water it’s exciting crossing the river
RED STREET LID
only now when I took the photo of this street lid I can write about what I feel sick of last night a friend phoned me and conveyed a wish of a newspaper editor that they would like to interview me about my trial and going to jail in 1972 I’m happy when somebody remembers me but I immediately refused same way I refuse all other things it always bothers me because by refusing I might hurt somebody and all I want is to give much more through refusing. all of the other that I believe in and who I am myself it bothers me also because I feel the isolation and condemnation from people – that’s the danger I’m in I said to my friend that going to jail is very important for me because twelve years afterwards I went on Rose of Wandering and then nineteen years later I declared The Day of All Beings but same as back then people didn’t want to hear what I was writing and creating at that time and they want it now – now they don’t want to hear what I’m writing and creating now I stop giving interviews and appearing in human public when I encircled the planet Earth in 1998 ever since I’m in the Universe but nobody sees it everything I would want to say in an interview already is in my books my books are my interviews what has inspired me when I was young inspires me even more who I admired when I was young I admire even more bad things I experienced in society when I was young now are even worse if I was a twenty year old man today they would have imprisoned me today as well prison is often the only place which is guarding us from the hypocrisy of human society one of the persons that contributed to my imprisonment is the father of one of the closest persons to me she was born when I was twenty two. the same yeas I was writing and creating things because of which I was imprisoned. I met her thirty years later. she as well as that encounter are redeeming her father another person that contributed to my imprisonment is today respectable and awarded writer of civil society. he turns civil society into the society of hypocrisy and just a screen for a guilty conscience of all of those who attacked the society when it was created in that interview I should have talked about the two of them but I was in jail in order to learn how to fight with myself and to show with my example that everybody should fight with their guilt and bad conscience instead of the name of the first person I will say the name Miroslav Mandic instead of the second person I will also say the name Miroslav Mandic I didn’t want to write about all of this but the beauty and the role of the red lid had opened me up I would love to live in the society in which the world news would have been the beauty and the role of the red lid are finally discovered with deepest sympathy for people who died in catastrophes I would love if news would talk about other beings also killed in those catastrophes if I was a judge I would sentence all those judges that were judging by order of the powerful ones and ideologists I would sentence all teachers professors informants corrupted prominent people who lived from lies thank god I’m not a judge. and thank to the fifteen year old young boy who was disgusted over army and power otherwise I would also become great criminal in the name of righteousness I am a poet and I sing all beings. all beings are also all people. so a father of a close friend of mine as well as the respected writer I am an artist and I create resurrection through which everybody will be resurrected all of those who were killed who were molested who were deported and all killers and all molesters and all those who were deporting people until the human kind remembers much more Alexander the Great than Diogenes. Hitler than Sophie Scholl and White Rose the human kind will be molested by Alexander Hitler Stalin Churchill Truman... I used to love reading interviews. later on to give them myself now I would also love to give one big interview to somebody who knows my life and work well but there is no such person yet all today’s blessings are about the street lid and nothing else
A PILGRIM WOMAN
while reading a book about the history of walking I remembered my beloved her book helped me a lot before the Rose of Wandering. especially because she would always thank God for any hardship she would come across. and miraculously hardship would then go away that thanking helped me a lot as well during the Rose of Wandering from today I will be reading her every day on her web site her life is magnificent. she is one of the most beautiful beings that exist her work is so great and beautiful that she is a top poet and top artist you are more and more alive my wife you are more and more beautiful my Goddess You keep on walking I’m happy that I feel more and more that those who died keep on living I admire all the pilgrims that have been draining themselves to exhaustion but walking has always been for me an art of one and only artist who is for one artist more than all the artist put together a medium of the all-encompassing work of art creation of the shape by walking dancing and singing today, when it will be forty days from the death of my husband Ally Saunderson, I would love if Miroslav Mandic would enclose the information about our wedding anniversary which I spent with our friends on Ada Medjica, where and from where we have scattered part of his ashes and by that carried out one of his wishes, he told me before he left. even though yearning for your body and voice isn’t subsiding, I love more and more your tender soul and more than good heart, my dearest Ally. I hope that our roads will intersect at least once more and that we will experience again that long eye communication in which we will recognise each other and that you will write again in your diary my god, I have been looking this woman forever. keep on watching me my love Ivana Djokic-Saunderson sent me text message life yearns to live for love body dies in order to love-kiss forever and to be love-kissed I love-kiss You I love-kiss You my love love is one we are all one in love love within constant love love for Lazar Stojanovic who I saw today on the street with glasses that had one glass darker. if somebody see Lazar give him my love for his life and work it’s evening – it’s cold night has fallen – it’s now warmer and which reminded me how I was going for three years in the evening to the bridge and every day experiencing drop of temperature before the night falls and warming up when it falls it’s night. winter is coming. greyness. coldness. whiteness and winter joys whoever is somewhere I love-kiss them I know You also love-kiss them somebody somewhere is a sanctity whoever is alone their head is on my shoulder whoever is alone their chest is on Your chest somebody somewhere we are together walking is singing singing is love-kissing
65TH TIME 33 DAYS
perverts are more normal than the normal ones because normal people are hiding their perversions there is not a single reason for me not being one and only reason for love love itself love in singing sing me love I love-kiss You immortality every being joyfully dies for the immortality of all beings immortality is innocent fucking complete fuck up of words complete fuck up of pain complete fuck up of goodness smile in the heart of every being life for the other down with the law laws are killing immortality only great love is love only great poem is a poem God give not ever to be cocky and not ever to be pussy when I saw yesterday little birds on branches I felt great tenderness and I thought I’d love to fuck the birds fuck – to surrender myself I would fly and I would be small greatest love lives in smallest greatest poem sings to the smallest ones nothing is more sexual than surrendering more sexual than surrendering is excepting more sexual than excepting is obeying more sexual than obeying is love-kissing more sexual than love-kissing are these twelve birds of surrendering and excepting complete fuck up of all Universes within the one Universe complete fuck up of lie and truth in a true orgasm complete fuck up of the contradiction of all wishes within the innocence of every wish when we say complete fuck up we think of something bad for me complete fuck up is something most tender wedding of surrendering and excepting
I’M GOING
ten organised people are stronger than thousand unorganised thousand organised people are stronger than hundred thousand unorganised hundred thousand organised people are stronger than ten million unorganised ten million organised people are stronger than one billion unorganised six million organised people are stronger than six billion unorganised that’s how the world is ruled one small state can acquire domination over all people but usually two states that are in conflict are those who rule before the beginning of a conflict two states are fighting for all the rest to be on their side in a battle against the rival ruling comes from church arms law school money propaganda and entertainment ruling is accomplished through different public secret and criminally organised societies from pioneer and sport organisations through street gangs and all kinds of masonry societies to the pension organisations what turns me off from any of these organisations is absence of conscience creativity and poetry tastelessness of power and wealth stupefied by education dependency through law boredom through entertainment all importance and seriousness of the organised ones can’t make a single step of a free man all that ruling of the organised ones doesn’t reach even the knees of an artist and his taste all the power of getting organised is not even to the ankle of one and only poet and his poetry poet is singing all beings all beings are love – not an organisation peace joy humour nonviolence child younglings buds pebbles prayer through touch in pace here am I for You
I’M CREATING WITH MY LIPS
Violeta found a mistake in numbers of blessings that I made in 295th week that mistake runs all the way through now because I added later numbers onto that mistake correcting the mistake is one of the most unpleasant things and it also takes a lot of time I became sad my head became clouded human mistakes are easily brought to the atomic war I’m trying not to make mistakes but they are certainly present in Miroslav Mandic I want to do one thing but I do another it’s good that I have at least realised that I made the mistake first and last number of that day’s blessings are next to each other and instead of adding to the last number I added on the first one and that’s how the mistake was born there was an electricity cut a moment ago. the heating was connected in the other room of the Nest I feel lousy nonetheless Wikipedia is not even opening while editing 297th week I came across the beauty of the number twenty seven Walser, nobody entered Satie’s room for 27 years 1898-1925 Walser, You’ve spent 27 years in sanatorium 1929-1956 Walser, Mandela spent 27 years in jail 1962-1989 Walser, 27 years ago I opted for the art of walking 1983-2010 Walser, 27 years are 36 births 36 times 9 months that lighten me up twenty seven years thirty six self-deliveries walking recovered me I felt dizziness in my head and slight pain in my heart now I’m fondling myself by slow walk and mild air rustling of dried leaves on branches makes me shudder a woman got off her bike and she is looking for the pebbles on the shore for herself I always love to hear the wind I love to listen to the rain I would love to learn how to hear the light this pebble reminded me of the smell of sparkles produced by stones that we were striking against each other in the childhood walking rinses I didn’t go down this road through the woods for a long time we know each other. we are close animal droppings and the smell of goats there are no more lizards on my steps lizards meant a lot to me last summer
I’M SINGING THROUGH LONELINESS
it was raining last night I see the traces of the rain on the path through the woods pigs are digging the soil three hens are strutting in the courtyard full of fallen leaves I’m taking a photo of the leaves on which last night’s rain remained taking photos is falling in love at first sight raining is one of the most exciting stories light is the most exciting poem most of the people around the lake are walking around me I’m walking more mellow and slower workers on the lake are taking down old trees for few days now they are doing autumnal and winter works they are doing all of what they couldn’t do last summer they are preparing the lake for the next summer light rain is beginning to fall like a first sentence of a short story twenty or so seagulls are standing on the fence of the beach and one grebe is among them what you just felt woman was a drop of rain on my cheek what you just felt man was a drop of rain on my nose what you hear are chainsaws that lumberjacks are chopping already cut down trunks with sawdust and rotten leaves are quickly turning into soil everything lives for each other I live identifications through loneliness loneliness affirms other being. every being. all beings I’m protecting others from myself through loneliness loneliness rejoices everyone loneliness is the art of enduring the loneliness every drop of rain is one being all drops of rain are all beings of one rain waiter is taking yellow pillows inside so that they wouldn’t get wet I’m reading about Wordsworth’s walks in the History of Walking. I didn’t know he walked so much I recognise many things that I have experienced myself in the History of Walking through reading any book I recognise the history of writing in the experience of my writing we breathe same air we create one love we live one God
BOOK-LIKE
around spring time next year Miroslav Mandic book will come to the half hank of writing ball of interlacing thread being budding calm down my heart I will open the window to let a bit of air in air on the balcony felt really good one dog run through the street wind was swinging the ficusses and curtains on the balconies on the building across I wished I already was on the lake so that legs are leading me to get to see the birds and water I’m absorbing the sky I love-kiss anyone I see but I calmed down because it’s nice being anywhere especially in words I’m creating – words that are creating me every word is extending the path of wasteland writing is arch-trust in You through writing we are together in Your reading through writing I am irresistible one I took thirty drops of the essence for circulation and heart I might go to bed to curl up to be a book-hank to be Your body to my body through body I might visit porno sites to become all-love through mind ball hank balloon globe I don’t have enough words for a ball thread is running being is being ball-like bud
HE WENT AWAY
he went away a man went away away he went and left poems all the way I’m waiting for You all these years and that’s how I found out You are coming I adore Your belly belly dedicated to creation my father died for me he thought me about dying that’s how I’m in art through roundness and wholeness through the holiness of poverty through the edge of the road though the spine through the thigh through identifying one bowing through satisfaction satisfaction is immortal and it satisfies itself through immortality immortality of satisfying is within careful recognition root of a word in the nutritious roots i n e x p l i c a b l e is the clear poem by the long roads rosebushes are rooting themselves obvious rose road-like rose sexy rose-like rose rose of my wandering rose of my walking rose of my being rose of my creation rose of my poetry rose of you-like god sing me sing me the rose of my bud fuck me fuck sacredness of lovable all-being it’s Saturday my Sunday
PATH-LIKE AND PATHY-LIKE
love-kiss
I love-kiss
I love-kiss You
let’s love-kiss
love-kissed ones
through love-kissing
God
I am an alphabet of God’s language
first letter
first digit
first kiss
first rebellion
first fucking
first face
first punishment
first love suffering
first picture
first miscarriage
first book
first step
first walking
first path
first rose
first Universe
all beings
God
I celebrate You in my body
You are the Miroslav Mandic Museum
the oldest trace is this trace
the horse with which my uncle Ziva Oprin and me were ploughing was called Pathy
travel my pathy-like word
fuck me my rose-like freedom
free pussy is the most expensive pussy
free dick is the only dick
I LOVE-KISS YOU MY LOYAL CONSCIENCE
patiently through seing and providence through passing suddenly and unexpectedly through truth and sour cream list night I said to Ivana that I was making these days celery and mayonnaise salad I wanted to draw her attention on celery and at that moment I lied because I haven’t made the salad with mayonnaise but with sour cream I lied so that I wouldn’t have to explain how last three months I allowed myself to buy butter once. twice or three times sour cream. twice or three times cream butter even though I decided not to eat dairy products from new year even though the lie was harmless it woke me up last night and disturbed me I felt I have to do something or to admit to Ivana or to admit to all beings or to tell it to the dice I won’t be eating dairy products even though sometimes I might take something with them because except for the vegetables I remained only on mayonnaise margarine and bio cheese I’m writing this for three reasons to thank to back up and strengthen my conscience so that the beauty of the truth in the words that I’m writing doesn’t lose its glow so that the other could trust me even more it’s so much harder to lie then to tell the truth – Srdja Popovic said these days I love-kiss You I love-kiss You my loyal conscience I’m speeding up because the temperature is beginning to drop I love to trust everybody it hurts me if somebody doesn’t believe me who believes me they make me immortal who lies to me and distrusts me they kill me it feels nice to be shy in front of all beings and in that way be liberated from myself naked outside and inside in front of everybody. without secrets and lies it makes me so happy dusk is falling. I feel the chills of live strength dies off. everything retreats into itself preparations for the night should be done. to surrender and trust dreams graveyard gate is not yet closed I will go through the graveyard... one black dog attacked me God give so that I don’t betray anybody Hello Miroslav! A month ago my girlfriend and I have decided to walk longer for the first time. From Karlovci to Zagreb. And then I remembered, well who would be more delighted to hear that then you? Greetings, Matija an e-mail from Matija who was reading Rose of Wandering as a sixteen year old was awaiting for me