Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog

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    A BOOK ABOUT THE BLUE MONEY

    2128. day
    29th October 2010

    A Book about the Blue Money

     

    I would like to read it

     

    I believe it would help me to get a bit more money

     

    before I read it I should write it

     

    before I write it I had to live it for thirty or so years

     

    while I was drawing three circles with divider calliper a moment ago in order to cut them

    out and take them with me on walking so that I would with their help carry on with my

    thinking about the money I thought that while creating the new money

    I could write a book A Book about the Blue Money

     

    I live blue money for thirty two years now

     

    if I start writing it from next year it will be on the blue money’s 33 birthday

     

    a miracle

     

    a miracle becomes without the miracle

     

    when nobody believes in miracle the miracle is born

     

    miracle is born on its own

     

    after being born the miracle nests in the innocent heart

     

    miracle of money

     

    money of miracle

     

    blue money

     

    blue money was born on 29th October 2010 at 10 am

     

    blue money was born in the book A Book about the Blue Money

     

    A Book about the Blue Money was born on 29th October 2010 at 9:34 am

     

    A Book about the Blue Money was born in Miroslav Mandic

     

    Miroslav Mandic was born on 4th December 1949 at 6:30 am

     

    Miroslav Mandic was born in Kaja and Milomir

     

    Kaja and Milomir were born in Miroslav Mandic

     

    Miroslav Mandic was born in the beginning of creation

     

    genealogy of the miracle

     

    there is no miracle but there is this blessing

     

    greatest miracle is that there is no miracle

     

    everything that is already is a miracle

     

    miracle of the blue money is that it already exists

     

    blue sky is the blue money

     

    blue sea is the blue money

     

    blue bud is the blue money

     

    with blue money I bring You the money

     

    IN A SHOE-MAKER’S WAY

    2129. day
    30th October 2010

    last night I saw Etela Merk on TV in her dog shelter

     

    my Etela I hug You gently

     

    good beings are fucking unselfish

     

    fucking is openness

     

    everything for everything

     

    You already sound

     

    You smell

     

    I’m watching You

     

    You’re glowing

     

    I don’t have the words with which I would describe the beauty and goodness of pleasure

     

    a friend started giving lessons in masturbation

     

    it’s crisis. one has to live of something

     

    everybody charges why wouldn’t I

     

    business is good

     

    people are calling. asking. coming

     

    I’m not expensive

     

    I immediately show them the pricing of masturbation

     

    male sloe organ 400-450 dinars

     

    female sloe organ 350-400 dinars

     

    mold widening of organs 300-400 dinars

     

    modifications of organs 850-950 dinars

     

    gluing of organ’s tops 150-250 dinars

     

    replacement of organ’s heels 800-900 dinars

     

    hammering of organ’s heels 150-250 dinars

     

    stitching of organ’s soles 300-450 dinars

     

    gluing of organ’s soles 150-200 dinars

     

    three years guarantee

     

    clients are choosing the technique I’m using while putting sloes on organs

     

    while I was working like a shoe-maker there was not enough for bread

    now there is even for a book

     

    for now I’m the first and the only one in the city

     

    I’m working a bit

     

    you should know what love loneliness and masturbation are

     

    sometimes my friend I think I’m Jacob Boehme of the twenty first century

    dedicated to my friend the shoe-maker and all good beings

     

    I LOVE YOU TOO STRONG

    2131. day
    1st November 2010

    I’m licking my lips

     

    I’m a navel of Your immortality

     

    love redeems death

     

    Marinko Sudac called me after five years and made me really happy

     

    one flower is more valuable than all the banks in the world – I said to Marinko Sudac

     

    subordination is the most effective technique of power and success

     

    for creation and poetry subordination is nothingness

     

    only a poet creates an artist

     

    only an artist writes of a poet

     

    all beings live through poem

     

    poem is created by an artist and wrote by a poet

     

    work is written by a poet and created by an artist

     

    Marinko – everything is so dear

     

    Marinko – everything is so mild

     

    Marinko – everything is so sweet

     

    every movement of the body is called Rajka

     

    every feeling is called Dusica

     

    every thought is called Milica

     

    every sigh is called Nada

     

    every exhale is called Vera

     

    an encounter is called Radojka

     

    kiss Ljubinka

     

    smile Ruzica

     

    gift Darinka

     

    fucking Nevena

     

    courage Slobodanka

     

    Marinko – the best ones are the worst because they are silent about

    they lock up and kill the best one

     

    Marinko – success is the greatest obstacle to creating and poetry

     

    my love

     

    I’m constantly saying my love to everything and everybody

     

    I would love to say my love to everybody and everything

     

    air is so mild

     

    birds are surrendering to it with their spread wings

     

    NOW SHE BELIEVES HIM AND LIVES FOR HIM

    2132. day
    2nd November 2010

     

    You go. go fastsais a girl on the bicycle to a young man in front of her


     

    I took off the jacket. I took off the shirt

     

    it’s over twenty degrees. it’s been said that this winter is going to be very cold

     

    don’t run away. what’s wrong with You – sais the girl with a smile to the young man

     

    the most important word in the Universe at the moment are these fourteen words

     

    who believes me will experience the truth and beauty of the previous blessing

     

    who doesn’t believe me they will be pissed off or think what a fool

     

    while thinking of the levels of creation I notice how

    I’m gently touching over the t-shirt my right nipple

     

    a girl set down on the pebble beach. she took off her left sneaker and

    the sock from her left foot. now she is untying the laces on the right sneaker

     

    whoever felt the importance of fourteen cosmic words

    they will feel the same about the girl’s laces

     

    laces. straps. belts. bracelets. tails. wings

     

    exactly because I feel deepest sympathy with those who are killed wounded

    enslaved and deported in all wars of the world it should be said that the war

    except for the crimes and looting is in its essence greatest banality triviality and kitsch

     

    I’m really enjoying this woman and the man that are

    the most harmonious couple I saw in past few years

     

    I wanted to make few more photos of this dog but he got scared and run away

     

    ladybirds are flying today as well

     

    yesterday I’ve decided that on Tuesday 9th November 2010...

     

    I’m really rejoicing the fact that I’ve made that decision

     

    I’d love to celebrate that with somebody but nobody is around

     

    a young man and a girl are releasing the kites on the lake shore

     

    the most harmonious couple has set on the wooden fence and they are sunbathing

     

    young black cat is rubbing against my feet while I’m taking photos of her

     

    and when I mention God then they are rally pissed off

     

    I think speak and do what I believe in

     

    I make a step – dancing

     

    I make a step – singing

     

    I make a step – kissing

     

    I make a step – fucking

     

    sunlight is overflowing the water fountain in rainbow colours

     

    yesterday a young Carmelite nun who got ordained helped me a lot

     

    goodness of one and only being beats all that is not good with all other beings

     

    that is the beauty of one and only being

     

    I’m thinking of beings that burn out with greatest speed

    through the cosmic space so that they don’t hurt other beings

     

    my love it was like this. one woman and one man have lived together

    but they didn’t love each other enough because it’s hard to love and live together

    one day a man said to a woman that he loves her so much he would die for her

    she didn’t believe him but he really died for her

     

     

     

    SPREAD MY LOVE

    2133. day
    3rd November 2010

    ten more days till 9th November 2010

     

    always till the end

     

    the end is now

     

    now is eternity

     

    while walking calmly I’m thinking of 9th November 2010 with great excitement

     

    I walked half of the circle around the lake with Jelena. in the end I told her that she

    should celebrate 9th November with me on her own or with somebody

    during the solemn lunch

     

    Marinko Sudac phoned me yesterday and said

    Miroslav I will call you every day from today

     

    Marinko phoned me a moment ago and said

    you went under my skin and into my heart with the Monday poem

     

    I asked Marinko that instead of me he calls

    somebody else every day so that the love would spread

     

    I asked Marinko as well to celebrate 9th November with me on his own or with somebody

     

    I kiss your thoughts. your Milica

    Milica sent me text message

     

    you are kissing thoughts beautifully my love

    I answered Milica

     

    everything that exists is my love

     

    today I’ll buy grapes

     

    I haven’t eaten a lot of grapes this year

     

    I adore grapes

     

    an old gentleman took off his socks and set on the upper part of the bench

    with the pencil in his mouth

     

    I’m taking a photo of autumn vermilion

     

    grapes of immortality with the immortality of grapes

    I sent a text message to Zelimir Zilnik

     

    on Saturday at half three on Zeleni Venac Zelimir and me

    will have bread and grapes for lunch

     

    Zelimir and me are having bread and grapes for lunch for few years now

     

    come to eat bread and grapes

     

    or potato broth when the grapes are gone and winter comes

     

    come whenever

     

    come no matter to who

     

    come to the trees

     

    God is love

     

    You are love

     

    poem is love

     

    art is love

     

    walking is love

     

    I’m off

     

    to the grapes to my love

     

    SAME-THINKING

    2134. day
    4th November 2010

    five more days to 9th November 2010

     

    God created God for himself

     

    while I was washing the balcony I was God

     

    one is the God

     

    while drawing Blue Rose I thought of Vesna’s words that I would love to hear from her

     

    while drawing 64 Buds I thought of Violeta’s words that I would love to hear from her

     

    while stretching out I thought of Srdjan’s words that I would love to hear from him

     

    while getting ready for going out I thought of Sun’s words

    that I would love to hear from him

     

    I felt tranquillity after those words

     

    when I think what I would love to hear from You

    I enjoy and I wonder how comes that we think the same

     

    don’t yell – mother is yelling at her son

     

    I’m watching how yellow leaves are falling in the warm sunny day

     

    it’s autumn. winter is coming. after winter comes spring. then summer. it’s autumn

     

    it’s always autumn

     

    it’s always winter

     

    it’s always spring

     

    it’s always summer

     

    then I tried from eight kilos because those holes are too wide for him

    but only blac could be heard – a girl is saying to an older woman

     

    look look this is like a confetti

    sais one woman to another showing her leaves that are falling

     

    look at me look how I love-kiss You all those years

     

    I’m practicing to unnoticeably take photos of passersby

     

    every passerby is a hero of my gaze

     

    I always rejoice when this lively sixteen year old girl

    walk passes me. I hope one day I’ll take photo of her

     

    by living myself I live for everybody

     

    through living me You live for Yourself

     

    if You feel what I feel now You will live up to what You want to feel

     

    if You see me You will see Your face

     

    you put on the brakes and then you let go. feet on the pedals and watch in front of you

    a father on the bike is saying to his son who is learning how to ride a bike

     

    how long and thin weeping willow branches are

     

    it’s important and sanative to love the trees

     

    I’m coming back from the lake and I remember the beautiful state

    I was in while washing the balcony

     

    it’s great when nothing is happening because then everything just is

     

    a dog is watching what I have in the plastic bag

     

    IF YOU EVER NEED A WALL CLOCK

    2135. day
    5th November 2010

    four more days till 9th November 2010

     

    I hope that 9th November will be the most important day of my life until now

     

    in order for 9th November to be the most important day in my life until now

    it’s necessary that every moment of my life is the most important

     

    in order for every moment to be the most important in my life

    it’s important that the moment of my death is such as well

     

    in order for the moment of my death to be the moment when

    all beings are rejoicing it’s necessary that I rejoice dying as well

     

    in order to rejoice dying at the moment of dying I should be dying every day

     

    every moment I’m dying and every moment I’m resurrecting but I’m rarely aware of it

     

    Miroslav Mandic from the beginning of blessing

    in the end of it is not the same Miroslav Mandic

     

    in order to be identical with myself it’s necessary that I’m constantly changing

     

    in order to be unchangeable it’s necessary to transform myself constantly

     

    spiritually and creatively

    one percent one percent

    ten percent hundred percent

    twenty percent hundred percent

    thirty percent hundred percent

    forty percent hundred percent

    fifty percent hundred percent

    sixty percent hundred percent

    seventy percent hundred percent

    eighty percent hundred percent

    ninety percent hundred percent

    ninety nine percent hundred percent

    hundred percent hundred and one percent

     

    life like and realistically

    one percent one percent

    ten percent ten percent

    twenty percent twenty percent

    thirty percent thirty percent

    forty percent forty percent

    fifty percent fifty percent

    sixty percent sixty percent

    seventy percent seventy percent

    eighty percent eighty percent

    ninety percent ninety percent

    ninety nine percent ninety nine percent

     

    I’m going to Sun’s but I’ll buy a wall clock on my way

    because the other one is broken after all

     

    you’ll find out who you are if you carry water

    graffiti on a fence

     

    I felt that You know I love You

     

    every word of mine love-kisses You

     

    when I read Miroslav Mandic I feel he love-kisses me

     

    I haven’t found the clock but I had a nice conversation

    with the salesman who I bought the clock from last time

     

    in this shop as well the salesman was joyful and kind

    he asked me immediately do I want a broken or proper clock

     

    I bought the same one that I have in the living room. it cost only

    190 dinars. the hands on the clock can be heard. there are no quiet ones

     

    I have shallow sleep and I like to look through the room

    and see what the time is on the big clock

     

    while going down the Maxim Gorky street I’m permeated with wonderful modesty

     

    God doesn’t need to be said who is God – watch Him hug Him love-kiss Him live Him

     

    while walking up the Maxim Gorky street I’m smiling with no reason

     

    a pigeon is flying in front of the bus

     

    I’m walking really slowly through Pozeska street and enjoying

     

    I’m like somebody

     

    I’m like anybody

     

    I’m hurt when somebody speaks bad things about me

     

    faster and faster after that pain I feel pleasantness

     

    those who are speaking bad things about me are also my love

     

    calm from slow walking I saw and bought in the Chinese

    shop beautiful silent clock for five hundred dinars

     

    the one who love-kisses can do everything and wants to do everything

    I LOVE-KISS CELEBRATION I LOVE-KISS

    2136. day
    6th November 2010

    three more days till 9th November 2010

     

    this morning Werther killed himself

     

    They are loaded – the clock strikes twelve! I say amen.

    Charlotte, Charlotte! farewell, farewell! 

    last Werther’s words I’ve read this morning

     

    to celebrate love to celebrate

     

    my celebrations throughout the year

     

    1st January

    beginning of the year. since 2006 also the beginning of Miroslav Mandic book as well as

    the third ten year picture of the Blue Rose and first ten year film Blue Film

     

    7th January

    Little God’s birthday

     

    2nd February 

    33rd day of the year

     

    8th March 

    decision to walk that I made in 1983

     

    26th March

    Kaja’s passing away

     

    24th May – 4th June

    twelve days of writing 144 Definitions of Art

     

    1st June 

    first June again

     

    4th June

    Kaja’s birthday

     

    6th June

    Milomir’s birthday

     

    14th July

    beginning of the work One Man in 1971

     

    9th August 

    decision to go the way of the sky in 1973

     

    9th August – 15th September 

    33 bows

     

    15th August 

    Milomir’s passing away

     

    15th October 

    decision to get engaged in art again in 1980

     

    9th November 

    going to prison in 1972

    going on the Rose of Wandering in 1991

    9th November 2010...


    21th November

    Archangel Michael’s day

     

    4th December

    birthday

     

    25th December

    Little God’s birthday

     

    I celebrate

    Easter

    four seasons

    the moment I see first snowdrops

    the moment I see first swallows

    the moment I see first poppies

    first baby potatoes

    first lettuce

    first swimming

    first grapes

    swimming across Danube

     

    I celebrate modestly with joy in my heart

     

    I celebrated with my close ones and I celebrated on my own

     

    celebrating delights

     

    I would love if You would celebrate 9th November with me

    wherever You are and whoever You are

     

    to feel the peace in joyful soul and fervour in calmed mind

     

    so Your body smells with health and ease

     

    to feel the grace towards all beings and grace of all beings towards Yourself

     

    so that every word is glory to itself and glory to the next one

     

    I’m off to eat bread and grapes with Zelimir Zilnik

     

    DANGER OF LIVING

    2138. day
    8th November 2010

    one more day till 9th November 2010

     

    I invite You to celebrate 9th November 2010 with me

     

    celebrate it in white

     

    celebrate it more beautiful than ever

     

    celebrate it braver than ever

     

    celebrate it with those who You love

     

    celebrate it with five hour fucking

     

    with insight across the landscapes of Your soul

     

    through thinking gently of the yearned for

     

    with the words that You don’t dare but You want to say aloud

     

    through celebratory drink accept the rejected ones

     

    through celebratory mouthful feed the hungry ones

     

    through celebratory hope fill in the hopeless ones

     

    through celebratory right repay to the disempowered ones

     

    unknown woman I adore You

     

    unknown man I admire You

     

    unknown I trust You

     

    rain drizzles. I’m walking slowly. it’s not cold. I’m dozing off a bit

     

    to be worthy of giving

     

    I’m looking forward to the next day but I’m also a bit sad

    because I’m almost always alone when something begins

     

    if You knew Yourself You would have never addressed me like that

     

    if You knew me You would have never sent me that

     

    if You respected Yourself You would have apologised to me

     

    if You loved Yourself You would have addressed me tenderly

     

    I love-kiss love-kiss love-kiss You – once the closet one to me – now so unknown

     

    every photo of Your pussy we would have sold

    for 144 Euros and we would have lived eternally and like millionaires

     

    younglings of all beings live in me and make me worthy of childhood

     

    I bow to the dangers of growing up

     

    I fuck with the dangers of living

     

    twilight slowly falls

     

    I’m leaving

     

    another

    word

    or

    two

     

    mild glance

     

    THE DAY OF ALL BEINGS – MIROSLAV MANDIC DAY

    2139. day
    9th November 2010

    with

    this

    poem

    I

    declare

    ninth

    November

    the

    day

    of

    all

    beings

     

    313th day in the year

     

    2139th day of Miroslav Mandic book

     

    I was waiting for this all of these days

     

    I lived that all these years

     

    on 9th November 1972 I went to jail. I was twenty three years old

    and deadly crises were waiting for me. I didn’t know it will be my second birth

     

    and after nineteen years

     

    on 9th November 1991 I went on the Rose of Wandering

    ten year walking. ten year writing. ten year drawing

     

    and after nineteen years

     

    9th November 2010 became the day of the birth of all beings

     

    all beings got their day

     

    all beings got their home

    enough with hegemony

     

    after thirty eight years it’s not necessary that I do anything but just to declare

     

    peace peace

     

    love love

     

    immortality immortality

     

    everything is my wife

     

    I am husband to everything

     

    all beings are my children

     

    I’m outside. it’s cloudy but warm. I’ll be walking for a bit. in the Nest

    I’ve left the table covered with white sheet on which there are two glasses

    two plates and the candle. I would like to go back as soon as possible in order to have a toast to the birthday of all beings. I straightened up and I felt the singing of the

    tattooed poem on my back

    this

    is

    tattooed

    poem

    to

    God

    through

    which

    sings

    God

     

    I’m walking next to the lake. I’m thinking of the 9th November 1972 in which I went to jail

    I was a young wounded beast. declared guilty and sentenced to be shot

     

    that day I woke up as a free man in the little apartment of Kaja Mandic in

    Patrijarh Carnojevic street 19 in Novi Sad and I ended up disempowered

    in the upper bed of the quarantine cell of the jail in Sremska Mitrovica

     

    I’m watching the water of the lake and I’m thinking of 9th November 1991 when

    I went on the Rose of Wandering from London. everything that existed

    depended just on me and one Blue Rose was waiting to be created

    but I was the most powerless creature in the world

     

    I begun at noon with the first step from the Earth and after ten years

    of walking I managed to make the last step in the Universe

     

    today on 9th November 2010 I’m joyful because I saw by the lake

    Little Vivacious Six Year Old Girl and because I just bought three autumn roses

    they smell of childhood and celebrations that have guarded us from the miseries of life

    those were the celebrations of heavenly life before death came

     

    I’m sitting at the table and celebrating – I’m renewing the paradise in all beings

     

    celebration is a heavenly state in which death doesn’t exist

    to You

     

    immortality of fucking confirms the fuckability of immortality

    to me

     

    9th November 2010 opened me up for all days in the year. that singing is in front

    of me. I will sing it from the spring next year in the fourth book of I am you are him...

    to God

     

    1st January – day of the Buds of All Beings

    8th March – day of walking

    4th December the day of my birth – day of dancing

     

    ? the day of my death – day of singing

    ...

     

    all

    those

    who

    celebrated

    today

    with

    me

    are

    my

    body

    soul

    and

    spirit

    of

    God

     

    my

    eternal

    poem

    through

    which

    I

    kiss

    you

    with

    all

    beings

     

    DAY AFTER THE DELIVERY OF THE DAY OF ALL BEINGS

    2140. day
    10th November 2010

    first day after 9th November 2010 I love even more

    Jean Jacques Rousseau and all those who I loved

     

    fragile-like

     

    free-like

     

    god-like

     

    I’m existing through years long – yesterday’s – labour of all beings

     

    I’m empty. I’m walking like a leaf on the wind

     

    one runaway child is joining my soul

     

    I’m taking a photo of the green scarf carried by the wind

     

    all-like

     

    holly-like

     

    fuckable-like

     

    wind is really lilt

     

    You and I love each other because we love sparrows

     

    canes on the wind

     

    not to do anything just to love-kiss each other

     

    orgasm-like

     

    loyally-like

     

    immortally-like

     

    few days ago I started reading Rebecca Solint’s book WanderlustA History of Walking

     

    my name is I Would Love To Be You

     

    I am fire and I never play with fire

     

    my name is I Would Love If You Would Fuck Me

     

    I am Universe and I’m constantly in the Universe

     

    my name is I Would Love To Devote Myself To You

     

    I am a road and I’m always travelling with one rose

     

    I enjoy in those who surrender themselves to the others

     

    I adore those who transform themselves into the others

     

    I am transformation

     

    dew-like

     

    same-like

     

    instantly-like

     

    my name is You Love-Kiss Me With Your Words

     

    bud-like

     

    VIGNETTES

    2141. day
    11th November 2010

    I’m watching a magpie flying across the sky

     

    two sparrows are chasing each other from one tree to the other

     

    I will button up the upper button on my shirt after all

     

    I will cross on the other side of the street because of the change

     

    I jumped on the pavement with no reason

     

    like those two boys I also walk over the narrow roadside

     

    practising the balance is a good thing

     

    brain likes to be massaged

     

    mind

    mind-me

    mind-me-art

     

    a rat run into this hole

     

    at first I felt few drops of rain on my face and then I saw it on the water

     

    here is the rain on the asphalt as well

     

    rain loves to be loved by me

     

    I also love to love rain

     

    for many years I’ve walked by the Danube – the water that runs

     

    now I’m walking around the lake – the water that is still

     

    a grebe came out of water with a little fish in his beak

     

    I always thought of a lake as of an eye

     

    a crow has put its beak in the bag with peanuts

     

    a bee has flown down to the dandelion

     

    there was a bee on the other dandelion as well

     

    people with learning difficulties who are poignantly holding each other’s arms

    are coming towards me

     

    ten crows are walking around the woman who is sitting on the lakeshore

    it’s expecting more food from her

     

    this is the music of pebbles I’m walking over

     

    I wrote the word pebble with blue pebbles and took the photo of it

     

    trees are bare. it’s peaceful. it’s drifting into the dream

     

    two grebes are fighting around the fish

     

    two people are kissing on the path

     

    a man approached a man who is peeling off the paint from the door and told him good work

     

    and what did they do in the end – younger woman asks the older one

     

    I saw Ivana off with a boat across the Sava. she went to Ada Medjica with friends

     

    I’m coming back with a boat. I’m watching the water

     

    it’s exciting crossing the river

    RED STREET LID

    2142. day
    12th November 2010

    only now when I took the photo of this

    street lid I can write about what I feel sick of

     

    last night a friend phoned me and conveyed a wish of a newspaper editor

    that they would like to interview me about my trial and going to jail in 1972

     

    I’m happy when somebody remembers me but I immediately refused

    same way I refuse all other things

     

    it always bothers me because by refusing I might hurt somebody and all I want is to

    give much more through refusing. all of the other that I believe in and who I am myself

     

    it bothers me also because I feel the isolation and condemnation

    from people – that’s the danger I’m in

     

    I said to my friend that going to jail is very important for me

    because twelve years afterwards I went on Rose of Wandering

    and then nineteen years later I declared The Day of All Beings

     

    but same as back then people didn’t want to hear what I was writing and creating at that

    time and they want it now – now they don’t want to hear what I’m writing and creating

    now

     

    I stop giving interviews and appearing in human public

    when I encircled the planet Earth in 1998

     

    ever since I’m in the Universe but nobody sees it

     

    everything I would want to say in an interview already is in my books

     

    my books are my interviews

     

    what has inspired me when I was young inspires me even more

     

    who I admired when I was young I admire even more

     

    bad things I experienced in society when I was young now are even worse

     

    if I was a twenty year old man today they would have imprisoned me today as well

     

    prison is often the only place which is guarding us from the hypocrisy of human society

     

    one of the persons that contributed to my imprisonment

    is the father of one of the closest persons to me

     

    she was born when I was twenty two. the same yeas I was writing

    and creating things because of which I was imprisoned. I met her

    thirty years later. she as well as that encounter are redeeming her father

     

    another person that contributed to my imprisonment is today respectable and awarded

    writer of civil society. he turns civil society into the society of hypocrisy and just a

    screen for a guilty conscience of all of those who attacked the society

    when it was created

     

    in that interview I should have talked about the two of them

     

    but I was in jail in order to learn how to fight with myself and to show with my

    example that everybody should fight with their guilt and bad conscience

     

    instead of the name of the first person I will say the name Miroslav Mandic

    instead of the second person I will also say the name Miroslav Mandic

     

    I didn’t want to write about all of this but the beauty

    and the role of the red lid had opened me up

     

    I would love to live in the society in which the world news would have been

    the beauty and the role of the red lid are finally discovered

     

    with deepest sympathy for people who died in catastrophes I would love

    if news would talk about other beings also killed in those catastrophes

     

    if I was a judge I would sentence all those judges that were judging by order

    of the powerful ones and ideologists I would sentence all teachers professors

    informants corrupted prominent people who lived from lies

     

    thank god I’m not a judge. and thank to the fifteen year old young boy who was

    disgusted over army and power otherwise I would also become great criminal

    in the name of righteousness

     

    I am a poet and I sing all beings. all beings are also all people. so

    a father of a close friend of mine as well as the respected writer

     

    I am an artist and I create resurrection through which everybody will be resurrected

     

    all of those who were killed who were molested who were deported

    and all killers and all molesters and all those who were deporting people

     

    until the human kind remembers much more Alexander the Great than

    Diogenes. Hitler than Sophie Scholl and White Rose the human kind

    will be molested by Alexander Hitler Stalin Churchill Truman...

     

    I used to love reading interviews. later on to give them myself

    now I would also love to give one big interview to somebody who

    knows my life and work well but there is no such person yet

     

    all today’s blessings are about the street lid and nothing else

     

    A PILGRIM WOMAN

    2143. day
    13th November 2010

    while reading a book about the history of walking I remembered my beloved

     

    her book helped me a lot before the Rose of Wandering. especially because she would

    always thank God for any hardship she would come across. and miraculously

    hardship would then go away

     

    that thanking helped me a lot as well during the Rose of Wandering

     

    from today I will be reading her every day on her web site

     

    her life is magnificent. she is one of the most beautiful beings that exist

     

    her work is so great and beautiful that she is a top poet and top artist

     

    you are more and more alive my wife

     

    you are more and more beautiful my Goddess

     

    You keep on walking

     

    I’m happy that I feel more and more that those who died keep on living

     

    I admire all the pilgrims that have been draining themselves to exhaustion

     

    but walking has always been for me an art of one and only

    artist who is for one artist more than all the artist put together

     

    a medium of the all-encompassing work of art

     

    creation of the shape by walking

     

    dancing and singing

     

    today, when it will be forty days from the death of my husband Ally Saunderson, I would

    love if Miroslav Mandic would enclose the information about our wedding anniversary which

    I spent with our friends on Ada Medjica, where and from where we have scattered

    part of his ashes and by that carried out one of his wishes, he told me before

    he left. even though yearning for your body and voice isn’t subsiding, I love

    more and more your tender soul and more than good heart, my dearest

    Ally. I hope that our roads will intersect at least once more and that we

    will experience again that long eye communication in which we will

    recognise each other and that you will write again in your diary

    my god, I have been looking this woman forever.

    keep on watching me my love

    Ivana Djokic-Saunderson sent me text message

     

    life yearns to live for love

     

    body dies in order to love-kiss forever and to be love-kissed

     

    I love-kiss You I love-kiss You my love

     

    love is one

     

    we

    are

    all

    one

    in

    love

     

    love within constant love

    love for Lazar Stojanovic who I saw today on the street with glasses that had

    one glass darker. if somebody see Lazar give him my love for his life and work

     

    it’s evening – it’s cold

     

    night has fallen – it’s now warmer and which reminded me how

    I was going for three years in the evening to the bridge and every day

    experiencing drop of temperature before the night falls and warming up when it falls

     

    it’s night. winter is coming. greyness. coldness. whiteness and winter joys

     

    whoever is somewhere I love-kiss them

     

    I know You also love-kiss them

     

    somebody

    somewhere

    is

    a

    sanctity

     

    whoever is alone their head is on my shoulder

     

    whoever is alone their chest is on Your chest

     

    somebody

    somewhere

    we

    are

    together

     

    walking

    is

    singing

     

    singing

    is

    love-kissing

     

    65TH TIME 33 DAYS

    2145. day
    15th November 2010

    perverts are more normal than the normal ones

    because normal people are hiding their perversions

     

    there is not a single reason for me not being one and only reason for love

     

    love itself

     

    love in singing

     

    sing me love

     

    I love-kiss You immortality

     

    every being joyfully dies for the immortality of all beings

     

    immortality is innocent fucking

     

    complete fuck up of words

     

    complete fuck up of pain

     

    complete fuck up of goodness

     

    smile in the heart of every being

     

    life for the other

     

    down with the law

    laws are killing immortality

     

    only great love is love

     

    only

    great

    poem

    is

    a

    poem

     

    God give not ever to be cocky and not ever to be pussy

     

    when I saw yesterday little birds on branches I felt

    great tenderness and I thought I’d love to fuck the birds

     

    fuck – to surrender myself

     

    I would fly and I would be small

     

    greatest love lives in smallest

     

    greatest

    poem

    sings

    to

    the

    smallest

    ones

     

    nothing is more sexual than surrendering

     

    more sexual than surrendering is excepting

     

    more sexual than excepting is obeying

     

    more sexual than obeying is love-kissing

     

    more sexual than love-kissing are these twelve birds of surrendering and excepting

     

    complete fuck up of all Universes within the one Universe

     

    complete fuck up of lie and truth in a true orgasm

     

    complete fuck up of the contradiction of all wishes within the innocence of every wish

     

    when we say complete fuck up we think of something bad

     

    for me complete fuck up is something most tender

     

    wedding of surrendering and excepting

     

    I’M GOING

    2146. day
    16th November 2010

    ten organised people are stronger than thousand unorganised

     

    thousand organised people are stronger than hundred thousand unorganised

     

    hundred thousand organised people are stronger than ten million unorganised

     

    ten million organised people are stronger than one billion unorganised

     

    six million organised people are stronger than six billion unorganised

     

    that’s how the world is ruled

     

    one small state can acquire domination over all people

     

    but usually two states that are in conflict are those who rule

     

    before the beginning of a conflict two states are fighting

    for all the rest to be on their side in a battle against the rival

     

    ruling comes from church arms law school money propaganda and entertainment

     

    ruling is accomplished through different public secret and criminally organised societies

     

    from pioneer and sport organisations through street gangs and

    all kinds of masonry societies to the pension organisations

     

    what turns me off from any of these organisations

    is absence of conscience creativity and poetry

     

    tastelessness of power and wealth

     

    stupefied by education

     

    dependency through law

     

    boredom through entertainment

     

    all importance and seriousness of the organised ones

    can’t make a single step of a free man

     

    all that ruling of the organised ones doesn’t

    reach even the knees of an artist and his taste

     

    all the power of getting organised is not even

    to the ankle of one and only poet and his poetry

     

    poet is singing all beings

     

    all beings are love – not an organisation

     

    peace

     

    joy

     

    humour

     

    nonviolence

     

    child

     

    younglings

     

    buds

     

    pebbles

     

    prayer through touch

     

    in pace

     

    here am I for You

     

    I’M CREATING WITH MY LIPS

    2147. day
    17th November 2010

    Violeta found a mistake in numbers of blessings that I made in 295th week

     

    that mistake runs all the way through now

    because I added later numbers onto that mistake

     

    correcting the mistake is one of the most unpleasant things and it also takes a lot of time

     

    I became sad

     

    my head became clouded

     

    human mistakes are easily brought to the atomic war

     

    I’m trying not to make mistakes but they are certainly present in Miroslav Mandic

     

    I want to do one thing but I do another

     

    it’s good that I have at least realised that I made the mistake

     

    first and last number of that day’s blessings are next to each other and instead of adding

    to the last number I added on the first one and that’s how the mistake was born

     

    there was an electricity cut a moment ago. the heating was connected

    in the other room of the Nest

     

    I feel lousy nonetheless

     

    Wikipedia is not even opening

     

    while editing 297th week I came across the beauty of the number twenty seven

     

    Walser, nobody entered Satie’s room for 27 years

    1898-1925

    Walser, You’ve spent 27 years in sanatorium

    1929-1956

    Walser, Mandela spent 27 years in jail

    1962-1989

    Walser, 27 years ago I opted for the art of walking

    1983-2010

    Walser, 27 years are 36 births

    36 times 9 months

     

    that lighten me up

     

    twenty seven years

     

    thirty six self-deliveries

     

    walking recovered me

     

    I felt dizziness in my head and slight pain in my heart

     

    now I’m fondling myself by slow walk and mild air

     

    rustling of dried leaves on branches makes me shudder

     

    a woman got off her bike and she is looking for the pebbles on the shore for herself

     

    I always love to hear the wind

     

    I love to listen to the rain

     

    I would love to learn how to hear the light

     

    this pebble reminded me of the smell of sparkles produced

    by stones that we were striking against each other in the childhood

     

    walking rinses

     

    I didn’t go down this road through the woods for a long time

     

    we know each other. we are close

     

    animal droppings and the smell of goats

     

    there are no more lizards on my steps

     

    lizards meant a lot to me last summer

     

    I’M SINGING THROUGH LONELINESS

    2148. day
    18th November 2010

    it was raining last night

     

    I see the traces of the rain on the path through the woods

     

    pigs are digging the soil

     

    three hens are strutting in the courtyard full of fallen leaves

     

    I’m taking a photo of the leaves on which last night’s rain remained

     

    taking photos is falling in love at first sight

     

    raining is one of the most exciting stories

     

    light

    is

    the

    most

    exciting

    poem

     

    most of the people around the lake are walking around me

    I’m walking more mellow and slower

     

    workers on the lake are taking down old trees for few days now

     

    they are doing autumnal and winter works

     

    they are doing all of what they couldn’t do last summer

    they are preparing the lake for the next summer

     

    light rain is beginning to fall like a first sentence of a short story

     

    twenty or so seagulls are standing on the fence of the beach and one grebe is among them

     

    what you just felt woman was a drop of rain on my cheek

     

    what you just felt man was a drop of rain on my nose

     

    what you hear are chainsaws that lumberjacks are chopping already cut down trunks with

     

    sawdust and rotten leaves are quickly turning into soil

     

    everything lives for each other

     

    I live identifications through loneliness

     

    loneliness affirms other being. every being. all beings

     

    I’m protecting others from myself through loneliness

     

    loneliness rejoices everyone

     

    loneliness is the art of enduring the loneliness

     

    every drop of rain is one being

     

    all drops of rain are all beings of one rain

     

    waiter is taking yellow pillows inside so that they wouldn’t get wet

     

    I’m reading about Wordsworth’s walks in the

    History of Walking. I didn’t know he walked so much

     

    I recognise many things that I have experienced myself in the History of Walking

     

    through reading any book I recognise the history of writing

    in the experience of my writing

     

    we breathe same air

     

    we create one love

     

    we live one God

    BOOK-LIKE

    2149. day
    19th November 2010

    around spring time next year Miroslav Mandic book will come to the half

     

    hank of writing

     

    ball of interlacing

     

    thread

     

    being

     

    budding

     

    calm down my heart

     

    I will open the window to let a bit of air in

     

    air on the balcony felt really good

     

    one dog run through the street

     

    wind was swinging the ficusses and curtains on the balconies on the building across

     

    I wished I already was on the lake

     

    so that legs are leading me

     

    to get to see the birds and water

     

    I’m absorbing the sky

     

    I love-kiss anyone I see

     

    but I calmed down because it’s nice being anywhere

     

    especially in words I’m creating – words that are creating me

     

    every word is extending the path of wasteland

     

    writing is arch-trust in You

     

    through writing we are together in Your reading

     

    through writing I am irresistible one

     

    I took thirty drops of the essence for circulation and heart

     

    I might go to bed to curl up

     

    to be a book-hank

     

    to be Your body to my body through body

     

    I might visit porno sites

     

    to become all-love through mind

     

    ball hank balloon globe

     

    I don’t have enough words for a ball

     

    thread is running

     

    being is being

     

    ball-like bud

     

    HE WENT AWAY

    2150. day
    20th November 2010

    he went away

     

    a man went away

     

    away he went and left poems all the way

     

    I’m waiting for You all these years and that’s how I found out You are coming

     

    I adore Your belly

     

    belly dedicated to creation

     

    my father died for me

     

    he thought me about dying

     

    that’s how I’m in art

     

    through roundness and wholeness

     

    through the holiness of poverty

     

    through the edge of the road

     

    though the spine

     

    through the thigh

     

    through identifying one

     

    bowing through satisfaction

     

    satisfaction is immortal and it satisfies itself through immortality

     

    immortality of satisfying is within careful recognition

     

    root of a word in the nutritious roots

     

    i

    n

    e

    x

    p

    l

    i

    c

    a

    b

    l

    e

    is

    the

    clear

    poem

     

     

    by

    the

    long

    roads

    rosebushes

    are

    rooting

    themselves

     

     

    obvious

    rose

     

     

    road-like

    rose

     

     

    sexy

    rose-like

    rose

     

     

    rose

    of

    my

    wandering

     

     

    rose

    of

    my

    walking

     

    rose

    of

    my

    being

     

     

    rose

    of

    my

    creation

     

     

    rose

    of

    my

    poetry

     

     

    rose

    of

    you-like

    god

     

     

    sing

    me

    sing

    me

    the

    rose

    of

    my

    bud

     

     

    fuck me fuck sacredness of lovable all-being

     

    it’s Saturday my Sunday

     

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