Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog





    2152. day
    22nd November 2010



    I love-kiss


    I love-kiss You


    let’s love-kiss


    love-kissed ones

    through love-kissing




    I am an alphabet of God’s language


    first letter


    first digit


    first kiss


    first rebellion


    first fucking


    first face


    first punishment


    first love suffering


    first picture


    first miscarriage


    first book


    first step


    first walking


    first path


    first rose


    first Universe


    all beings




    I celebrate You in my body


    You are the Miroslav Mandic Museum


    the oldest trace is this trace


    the horse with which my uncle Ziva Oprin and me were ploughing was called Pathy


    travel my pathy-like word


    fuck me my rose-like freedom


    free pussy is the most expensive pussy


    free dick is the only dick




    2153. day
    23rd November 2010

    player and attacker like





    through seing and providence


    through passing


    suddenly and unexpectedly


    through truth and sour cream


    list night I said to Ivana that I was making these days celery and mayonnaise salad


    I wanted to draw her attention on celery and at that moment I

    lied because I haven’t made the salad with mayonnaise but with sour cream


    I lied so that I wouldn’t have to explain how last three months

    I allowed myself to buy butter once. twice or three times sour cream. twice or three times

    cream butter even though I decided not to eat dairy products from new year


    even though the lie was harmless it woke me up last night and disturbed me


    I felt I have to do something


    or to admit to Ivana or to admit to all beings or to tell it to the dice


    I won’t be eating dairy products even though sometimes I might take something

    with them because except for the vegetables I remained only on

    mayonnaise margarine and bio cheese


    I’m writing this for three reasons


    to thank to back up and strengthen my conscience


    so that the beauty of the truth in the words that I’m writing doesn’t lose its glow


    so that the other could trust me even more


    it’s so much harder to lie then to tell the truth – Srdja Popovic said these days


    I love-kiss You I love-kiss You my loyal conscience


    I’m speeding up because the temperature is beginning to drop


    I love to trust everybody


    it hurts me if somebody doesn’t believe me


    who believes me they make me immortal


    who lies to me and distrusts me they kill me


    it feels nice to be shy in front of all beings and in that way be liberated from myself


    naked outside and inside in front of everybody. without secrets and lies

    it makes me so happy


    dusk is falling. I feel the chills of live


    strength dies off. everything retreats into itself


    preparations for the night should be done. to surrender and trust dreams


    graveyard gate is not yet closed


    I will go through the graveyard... one black dog attacked me


    God give so that I don’t betray anybody


    Hello Miroslav! A month ago my girlfriend and I have decided

    to walk longer for the first time. From Karlovci to Zagreb. And then I

    remembered, well who would be more delighted to hear that then you?

    Greetings, Matija 

    an e-mail from Matija who was reading Rose of Wandering as a sixteen year old was awaiting for me





    2154. day
    24th November 2010

    a cat is licking three kittens


    I didn’t think to begin like this but I saw them


    I wanted to speak just from the mind


    but since I started going this way I’ll carry on


    that’s what wandering is


    it is as it is


    without hesitation


    and wherever I get


    but I’m always here and now


    here-everywhere – now-eternity


    from now to all nows in all times and all directions


    it’s good


    let it stay like that


    always good and just good


    even when it is not good let it be good


    even when You are not good to me so that You are good to me


    like this airplane that flies over me


    this man that is coming towards me I often see on the lake

    and it’s same today even though I went three hours later. same as him


    we don’t know each other. we don’t say hallo. but I always see the smile

    in his eyes when he looks at me


    it’s really nice to be on the lake


    behind my back I hear the sound of the bicycle which is coming closer


    seven workers are sitting on the benches around the table and waiting for

    their working hours to finish


    let my words be pleasant to Your eyes


    let my words be gentile to Your ears


    everybody chooses when to die – said Jerotic last night


    I hug Your soul with the body of the word


    I love-kiss Your spirit with the body of the word


    everything is curative


    that’s that


    dried branch on the road


    gentile voices that are spreading


    through vibrating


    through walking vibes for You



    2155. day
    25th November 2010

    midday of love


    from today my mobile phone will ring love to me at noon every day


    love for God You and all beings


    love in every day


    love in each of the 84600 seconds of every day


    constant love




    I’m always talking about You God


    I’m always talking through You God


    when I accomplish deep understanding with somebody in the end I say or write God


    two or three people have recognised that and they immediately answer God


    when I don’t understand or I disagree with somebody I also in the end say

    or write God so that God would carry our misunderstanding and disagreement



    mobile phone is ringing – bells of love are ringing – love is ringing


    so that from today love bells are ringing to every being


    hey all beings of mine turn your mobile phones your clocks computers

    from today and let the bells of love ring at noon through the Universe


    to feed the hungry


    to feed all those who are without love


    to heal the sick


    to bring the money to those who don’t have the money


    to resurrect all dead ones – so that Universe feels good


    to enlarge the strength of love of all those who love-kiss the love itself


    I love to shepherd and garden the other but only those who want and love to receive


    when I was thinking before 12 noon of hungry and unfed children

    which there is more and more


    I remembered Marijana and Sun and their children Luna and Teo


    I was thinking what to suggest to Marijana and Sun so that

    the love of their family would radiate and feed the unfed children


    I found the solution but I thought that it would have burden them and then I decided


    I will do something similar for myself




    I decided to remind myself every noon and love-kiss

    with love that is feeding everything and everybody


    I immediately turned on my mobile phone to ring every day at noon


    that’s how everyday Midday Concert of Love in the Universe has begun


    I’m watching the infinite sky and clouds which are constantly cuddling up in it

    through changing their shapes... I see your face. I love you I love you I love you! A

    I got this message at 12:22 pm from A who didn’t contact me for a long time


    cold air smells like sweet smell of cold melons



    2156. day
    26th November 2010

    here they are the bells of love are ringing


    the bells of love have found me in a painful conversation with the close person


    agreement – God’s poem. disagreements – God’s glory


    last night it just started. it just sparkled here and there. just few snowdrops started falling


    a mother is beating her little girl but the girl is resisting and laughing. it’s obvious that

    she cares more for hiding the humiliation then surrendering to the physical pain


    little girl reminded me of beatings that I was getting in my childhood


    that struggle with pain and humiliation


    Kaja thank You for the beating – through beating You directed me towards God

    Kaja God


    I’m drinking wine in order to drink up all pains


    and transform them into God’s joy


    not a moment without God


    everything for God


    only through God


    a sip of God


    a byte of God


    sometimes I would love if these speakers would blare so much more


    sometimes in a blessing I would love to howl

    even louder then Allen Ginsberg howled in all his poems


    sometimes I would love to be more relaxed then horse’s

    dick after ejaculation of any one of the relaxed poets

    this is written good exactly the way it is written


    although most often I want to be just myself






    next year as well I would love if You would buy me a cream cake for Your birthday


    if You can’t say to all beings who I am tell them that I’m nothing

    all of this that I’m writing is not addressed to You but to You


    sometimes You can shit on me – that will be so good for me

    since our relationship and the world is such a piece of shit


    I remember only the divine in our relationship and don’t remind me of anything else


    I remember only the orgasms of our innocent passions and agreements


    I only remember excitement with everyday that has fulfilled and joined us


    I only remember painful howls through which I killed myself

    in order to love-kiss You forever


    if You ask me for the rest and our misunderstandings I will say just – God


    if You insist that I tell You what I think of the rest and of tolerance

    I can just tell You get the fuck out of my sight


    Miroslav Mandic fucks everybody’s mother because

    Miroslav Mandic is everybody’s mother


    Just Love-Kiss Me – I gave You my hand and I told You my name


    I Love-Kiss You One and Only – You said Your name and gave me Your hand



    2157. day
    27th November 2010

    while I’m walking up the hill the bells of love started to ring out of me


    mobile phone from my pocket is ringing the love of noon


    I’m walking and ringing


    everything is spinning and love-kissing each other


    my feet are my road – my palms are my roses


    Universe is the nest. Galaxy is bed. Solar system cover. Earth pillow


    don’t enslave me with the daily bread – go fuck Yourself


    don’t corrupt me with the power – go fuck Yourself


    don’t seduce me with illusions – go fuck Yourself


    go fuck Yourself – give up mortality


    go fuck Yourself – immortal tenderness for You 


    yesterday I found out that one person turned on the mobile

    phone so that the bells of love are ringing every noon


    the nature of pussy is innocence that is confirmed through use


    the nature of cock is creation that is confirmed through singing


    I’m singing to You my only pussy


    take care of me because I’m throwing myself into the abyss of Your heart


    with love I’m breast feeding all beings that are breast feeding their younglings with love


    fallen leaves are breast feeding the soil with immortality


    courage through the radiance is breast feeding yet uncreated



    wet nurse

    of mine






    You are writing me – I’m breast feeding You with reading


    get us drunk with the milk of all beings


    pussy love-kisses through the spine


    dick love-kisses through the knees


    we are in each other’s eyes


    love in our eyes is God





    I hope I will before the New Year tattoo Universe

    on my left temple and word bud on the left side of my neck



    I would love to tattoo word pussy and word dick on the inner side of my thighs


    the most tender


    of tenderness


    You are my most tender tenderness my tenderness


    the abyss of my love is the first swing of the wings of You freedom

    while You are flying remind me to hum You about God’s Mother





    2159. day
    29th November 2010

    I’m nooning

    it started to ring


    I’m walking


    I’m love-kissing


    I’m ringing with the bells of love within all beings

    I’m still ringing


    melody in my mobile phone is gentile. it starts

    quietly. it’s coming from the far. quiet lullaby that wakes


    today I was surprised by the midday concert of love. even though my phone rang

    like it did before I was wondering who is calling me now. I rejoiced somebody’s call

    but I couldn’t answer because I was breastfeeding. I saw afterwards that it was love

    calling me

    this was written in this morning’s e-mail


    here the alarm at 12 noon just rang !

    I got an e-mail from the third person who is ringing with love


    dark is quickly falling


    it got dark around my desk


    the light from the screen is lighting up my keyboard


    as if I was already in the cave


    I’m beginning to guard myself with the childhood


    I’m continuing to write and guard everybody’s childhood


    the childhood of all younglings


    love is sex of all beings


    I will cook one potato one carrot

    one onion and I will add to that one tin of beans


    it was lovely when I was peeling off the potato


    when I was peeling the skin off the potato was glaring with its juices


    the carrot was red and sparkly


    onion was white. round. full of water


    I love people who are careful towards the water I thought to myself


    those who are guarding the air


    people who are kissing the light


    poets who are making suns of love out of common places

    story is telling about the details of common places. novel is making ironical statements about them

    poem is reviving the immortality through the common places


    it’s darker and darker around my Bud


    dark is filling in the room


    goodness is glaring in all things


    good people are making good things


    midday of love love-kisses the love of midnight


    right now I’m listening Love Supreme by Alice Coltrane

    I’ll look up tomorrow on the internet who is Alice to John Coltrane


    don’t turn on the light while I’m writing


    don’t turn off the light while I’m kissing You


    morbid things are just unspoken love and un-cried sorrow


    2160. day
    30th November 2010

    midday bells have rang while I was taking the photo of my face


    they took me by surprise


    rejoiced me


    made me smile


    the ringtone is so nice that I never turn it off

    I turn it off only when it starts ringing again ten minutes later


    it’s cold. it’s raining


    they say that everywhere in Europe is snowing


    I’m so alone. there is nobody for me


    there is no either Nobody or Somebody


    Nobody and Somebody are probably visiting somebody or are with somebody


    if I am so alone I’m taking the opportunity to love-kiss deeply


    this curve on the uphill of Visoka street


    it’s cloudy


    at shoemaker’s Srki the lights are on


    everything is wonderful after all


    it’s wonderful that I’m walking


    in some moments rain looks like wet snow


    but first snow is not yet here


    my stomach hurts a bit last two or three days


    I will rejoice when the first snow starts falling


    another kilometre to the Nest


    legs are walking by themselves


    it’s warm in the room


    nor warm not me are not alone anymore


    it’s raining and the gutter underneath my window gurgles like a stream


    I would love to inform all the people that every noon bells of love are ringing

    for all beings. I don’t know how to do that. therefore I will just ring and love-kiss


    sometimes I’d love if all those I’ve met in my life would be sitting at the same table


    so that I can look at them. enjoy in them. so that I could get up and say

    I’m happy because you are here and I’m sad because you went out of my life


    I love-kiss all those who are tilling the soil and sowing the most noble kind of love

    a woman who begged me today to give her ten dinars and who told me I’m absolutely freezing


    love of all beings to every being


    only those who don’t have the family live in one and only family


    only those who have their love taken live one and only love


    only those to whom God is forbidden live in one God



    2161. day
    1st December 2010

    bells are ringing


    step by step


    bell by bell


    I heard


    a dog lifted up his head and he’s howling while barking


    workers are planting new trees on Ada


    wind is very strong


    I buckled up my hood tightly to save me from the wind


    at certain moment I bend to the right and leaned on the wind


    two more people have told me that the bells of love are ringing to them as well




    I heard her voice


    path of love is the path from innocence to love


    rose of love is the rose from love to innocence


    I heard her voice after forty seven years










    everything I’m watching is even more beautiful


    everything I see is love


    I slowed down


    half an hour ago I decided I’ll make a call when the midday bells are over


    bells have rang




    when the midday bells were over


    I made a call


    I was nervous


    it was like forty seven years ago


    she smiled few times


    that made me feel so nice


    in the end I told her you made me happy


    she smiled again



    2162. day
    2nd December 2010

    while I’m walking down Kirovljeva street the bells are ringing

    from my jacket’s upper pocket


    they surprised me and carried off


    church bells from across the street also started to ring


    I’m thinking of seven people to whom midday bells are also ringing


    I’m in the Nest










    the path


    of a being


    I’m listening to the music










    it surrenders






    I’m opening up






    narrow is the path of agreeing


    I’m not stopping


    being of all beings


    is awaiting


    for me






    I’m singing









    2163. day
    3rd December 2010

    I started to cry


    that’s good


    I’ll feel better


    just if it would last


    if it would flow


    just flow and flow


    so that everything flows away


    I didn’t have what to write about anyways


    crying cures


    I stopped crying


    I didn’t cry enough


    Hank Williams is beginning to sing – I’m beginning to cry again


    he died when he was twenty nine




    rocks by the road


    highways of singing


    John Lee Hooker is singing


    teas are the sperm of immortality


    immortality is God


    I never talk about immortality without God


    immortality doesn’t exist without God


    God is God


    best way to write about crying is to cry












    guard me my fucking


    God – my road male singer


    God – my tavern female singer


    God – language started talking through love-kissing


    I never told You how much I love You because it was the way

    to love You more and more. to constantly resurrect You through love


    I never cried while being within You and I so much should have cried

    for hours days years millenniums – to cry myself out within You like a child




















    2164. day
    4th December 2010

    happy sixty first birthday Miroslav


    one man is always the conscience for all people


    I love hierarchy


    hierarchy is every being’s relationship with God


    there is no hierarchy among beings


    people are making hierarchy among beings


    people are making hierarchy among themselves


    I don’t respect any of those hierarchies


    I love and I surrender to one and only hierarchy between me and God



    a neighbour two floors up whom I never saw rang on my doors and

    asked me to turn the music down at least on Saturday and Sunday


    I never knew I’m bothering somebody with music


    I would never like to bother anybody


    and I would love to listen to music even louder

    I love-kiss You irreconcilable


    I was happy because the door bell has rang. I thought it was You

    or that somebody is visiting me for my birthday. humour is really all-present


    the neighbour was kind. sorrow is even more present


    humour and sorrow are going hand in hand walking step after step on this fucking world


    I was ashamed. I turned down the music and found one beautiful radio station

    WFMU's Rock 'n' Soul Ichiban — Obscuro hits from the 50s & 60s


    it’s hard for me because I’m a foreigner

    but if I was something else I would have been long dead


    listening to music is my job


    holly duty


    when the planes are flying over You can’t do anything


    when the cars are making noise and pollute You can’t do anything


    when the music from concerts and stadiums is driving You crazy You can’t do anything


    I turned You down music – You are within me my insatiable one


    I exist as if I don’t exist

    I am Julian Assange


    that’s how I survived all these years


    I lived as if I didn’t live


    I love-kissed


    I created


    I sung


    I am singing



    I am creating



    I am love-kissing




    2166. day
    6th December 2010

    they are ringing – I’m smiling


    nothing is forever – sais one of three women whom I was passing by on the lake


    I agree – nothing is forever – everything is forever


    in last two months I parted with two persons

    who were closest to me in last two-three years

    pain God


    now I’m completely alone

    alone everything














    I parted in order to save the love


    I parted because I’m a child and I don’t stand lie


    I don’t stand betrayal of the light that sparkled in the relationship


    after the breakup I feel ashamed


    through shame I guard the light of the person whom I parted with


    in the relationship in which I was everything now I’m nothing


    that’s how everything guards me


    who wants to love-kiss me is already immortal


    who wants to compete with me shouldn’t even try that because they already beat me


    and You the one who betrayed me rejoice because

    it is the glory of the one who is not betraying me


    betraying is passion which kills sex


    banality of betrayal


    I took the photo of high boots which I wore eight-nine years


    they are from waterproof material


    Vera Varady bought them form me


    they were loyal until they were finished off during my Saturday walk


    mighty sole has fell apart. I thing that repairman Srki couldn’t fix them


    I don’t know if I should throw them away or keep them

    best thing would be if I would sell them for 33 times bigger price then the one

    I paid for them even though I think they are worth at least 333 times more

    and in the art scene their value couldn’t go below 3333 times more


    I love-kiss those who are written off because they are suffering for everybody else

    for everyone who is written off I rise up the price of my written off shoes for 33333 times more than the buying price


    in life there is only You


    in spirit only I


    I in life is nothingness


    You in spirit is stupidity


    explanations are immoral



    2167. day
    7th December 2010

    when I came back from the walking I heard the news that Julian Assange is arrested


    brave ones are on Julian Assange’s side


    clever ones are on Julian Assange’s side


    honest ones are on Julian Assange’s side


    unselfish ones are on Julian Assange’s side


    future is on Julian Assange’s side


    the name of this time is Julian Assange


    by arresting Julian Assange this civilisation is dead


    I know little about Julian Assange but it is clear that he is the path


    I know everything about Julian Assange through who is accusing and arresting him


    at this moment some kids which are born are named Julian Assange


    birds are spreading the truth about Julian Assange


    freedom responds to the name Julian Assange


    animals are preparing themselves to defend Julian Assange


    joyful ones are tattooing Julian Assange on their skin


    everyone who is alone is Julian Assange


    I’m imagining a lot of young people who are doing a lot

    for this thing which is called Julian Assange


    those young people are conscience as well as leadership of this world


    ten year olds are rescuing the world from the corruption of grown ups


    money is a child


    all money are all beings


    banks are the property of teenagers


    autopoiesis of existing energy is within hearts of young people


    goodness and beauty are in hands of young people


    thank You Julian Assange for giving Your name for this decisive struggle


    this struggle for good and beautiful is real because it is

    the same with all struggles from the beginning of time


    those who are singing and weak ones against false ones and those who are too strong


    thank You my Julian Assange – You are my sweetest Peace Pilgrimage


    my jester I love-kiss You









    don’t worry about me


    Miroslav Mandic is Julian Assange


    I am Julian Assange



    2168. day
    8th December 2010

    like few days ago seagulls now fifteen grebes

    are on the fence including You and me


    warm rain is silently falling


    I approached the lake to watch it falling


    why are the rain circles so beautiful


    some are bigger some smaller


    they look like flickers


    water kisses with water


    I climbed up to the path. rain can be heard here. it falls over the dry leaves


    through the sounds of rain I hear how grass is growing


    grebe is spinning in the water with the fish in its beak


    a little while ago I saw a man writing something on the

    cut down tree trunks. now I see that murder was written


    on this tree trunk it’s written crimes! murder


    I love people who are sympathetic with other beings and who are fighting for them


    that won’t go through. there is no God – says a girl to the

    older woman while nervously opening and closing the umbrella


    seagull is flying over the water with the little fish in its beak


    I close my eyes and lift my head. rain drops are pricking my face


    first year of the first time second ten year walking is coming to an end


    I am the face of walking


    I walk with the face – I walk the face


    face to face


    a woman came out of the café and stretched out her hand to see if it’s raining


    I also love walking because of its graduality


    all steps make walking but not a single one can be omitted


    walking unites space and time


    space of walking pleases time of walking and vice versa


    through walking I begun to love both space and time


    walking connects Earth and Universe because one

    leg is constantly on the ground and the other is in the air


    over the soil through the air


    I love-kiss with face


    I’m gonna go just in case. I’m going to pay the bills – says older gentleman to

    the lady and the gentleman who he was strolling with while going to the public toilet


    walk over my face


    my nose


    who surrenders to the other is love forever and love-kisses forever



    2169. day
    9th December 2010



    today I will tattoo the picture of the Universe on my left temple


    on the left side of my neck I will tattoo the word bud


    that will be twenty third and twenty fourth tattoo on my body


    I took the photo of the left side of my face on which there still was no Universe or Bud


    when I come back from the lake I will shave myself and prepare for the tattooing


    Universe is the biggest being


    biggest being that fits into the heart of every being


    being of all beings


    tranquillity of all beings


    Universe all-being


    the bells of love are ringing – there is grace in my heart


    the bud on my neck is the creation of the Bud of All Beings


    Bud is the total work of Miroslav Mandic and

    each individual work of Miroslav Mandic Art


    the bud of minerals

    the bud of plants

    the bud of animals

    the bud of the spirits of nature

    the bud of people

    the bud of the higher intelligence



    when I climbed the hill strong and cold wind started to blow


    everything stirred up. I only managed to get to my stationary shop to buy

    plastic foils. for the first time I met there man and wife who are both owners

    and sellers. I told them they are wonderful and kind and that they look alike in spirit


    enjoy in each other – I said to them in the end


    I got out of the Damir’s studio. cold rain is falling

    temperature also dropped for ten degrees


    from now on my temple had nested the Universe


    blue dots are the sanctuary of the Universe


    Bud started budding on my neck


    when Damir started tattooing the Universe on me. my twenty

    third tattoo I saw that he has tattooed number 23 on his arm


    twenty three is my number – said Damir


    tattoo on my temple was hurting a bit. I almost didn’t feel anything on the neck


    it’s such a joy to write on your own body


    I am a body of a word


    I hope that from now on Universe will fell easier and better and that it won’t be alone


    I hope that from now on all beings will have the refuge in the Bud on my neck


    I hope that these two tattoos are dear to God as well


    I took the photo of the left side of my face with

    tattoos that are still covered with ointment and nylon


    let’s enjoy in each other

    dedicated to all free shelters for the rejected ones


    I am a bud of my lips on your neck Miroslav


    2170. day
    10th December 2010

    first cold day


    for the first time this year I saw the ice


    everything was prickling from the clearness on the lake


    sky was blue


    water in the lake was blue


    I was walking easily


    as usually


    I was thinking about writing


    about how most exciting for me is writing down the word itself


    any word


    every word


    appropriate one








    swearwords are my conscience


    every word is God


    I am the one who swears


    a wife to the unnoticed male


    a husband to the rejected female


    beauty of the unnoticed ones – Godly goodness in all things


    goodness of the rejected ones – Godly beauty in all beings


    at one moment I was walking after the dry little leaf that wind was carrying


    where are You now – my little dry leaf


    I love-kiss you locked up ones


    I love-kiss you disdained ones


    I love-kiss you mudlarks


    I love-kiss everyone who takes the frozen ones into their body


    I love-kiss desperate ones


    hungry ones


    I love-kiss the woman who is receiving a large amount

    of sperm of many men on her face with a smile


    I love-kiss water as water

    I love-kiss water as clouds

    I love-kiss water as rain

    I love-kiss water as ice

    I love-kiss water as snow


    I love-kiss every being who is suffering through the fight for the rights of all beings

    dedicated to Liu Xiaobo





    2171. day
    11th December 2010



    I’m walking






    freedom of all beings for the art of freedom of every being


    freedom of every being for the poem of freedom of all beings


    I love Your butt cheeks


    beauty butt fuck me with your goodness


    praying and thanking


    dancing and singing


    doing and being


    creating and singing


    pairs of love


    friendly numbers




    through healing steps














    with butt cheeks


    through butt fucking


    butt cheeks are body’s face cheeks


    eyes are cheeks of the soul


    soles and palms are cheeks of the spirit


    bend over for me my loyal one


    butt fuck us health


    watch me innocent one


    love-kiss us love


    I’m supply footslogging You supple one


    caress us with Your palms God

    especially now I would



    2173. day
    13th December 2010

    snowflakes are flying like meteorites


    that’s how life flies






    like a snowflake


    life snowflake

    guard me within Your heart


    last night fatty tissue on my back started suddenly to hurt


    I was so weak. so I am now as well. exposed and unprotected


    what is left for me to do is to thank to the pain


    to encourage myself after cowardice


    to project myself again after being spiritless


    being worthy of the body of every being


    loyal to everybody’s soul


    without conquering


    without seduction


    constantly loyal to the unexplainable


    to the beauty that surrenders to goodness


    to the goodness that makes surrendering god-like


    there is less and less people on the lake and more and more dogs


    they are hungry


    exhausted by coldness


    crows are nesting in the tree tops even before the dusk


    seagulls and grebes are not getting into the water


    I was praying for health


    curing myself with the most remote and the closest


    the most remote is equally far as the closest is close


    outside is the same as the inside


    I experienced this while I was praying and walking


    I’m still thinking of a little cat that curled up in the middle of the road


    I remembered last night’s spider that I saw in the bathroom


    he made me happy while walking quickly away next to the bath


    with the philosophy of the spider and the religion of the little cat


    we are



    2174. day
    14th December 2010

    dry snow is falling


    young geometer is checking the height datum

    on a little bridge across the Topcider creek


    I’m warming up my nose with my gloves


    I’m going downtown to give money for the Nest


    I love imagining snow falling over the open sea


    I leaned the mobile phone to my ear. it’s snowing. wind is whistling

    bells of love are ringing


    I love to imagine a man on the road


    man on the road is a call of unification and harmony


    man on the road is a lullaby to God


    I love everything that is the way it is


    without beautifying and acting


    without fear and domination


    like a hill


    like a snow dust whirled by the snow


    like a beautiful poor boy who is carrying bread in a plastic bag


    I didn’t find the notebook but I bought Alan Turing’s biography


    I slipped over the ice with my left leg


    Vesna and me were drinking coffee and we talked for an hour


    I enjoy agreeing permeating and identifying with somebody


    I didn’t speak to anybody for few days


    now these seven kilometres that are in front of me make me feel good


    walking. silence. flow


    I was thinking of something and at one point I felt how

    my arms are swinging next to my body while I was walking


    grass blades are trembling on the wind


    tram driver rang to me because I was too much engaged

    in watching the birds high in the sky


    it got dark and gray and everything became even more exciting


    while I’m walking cold wind is blowing in my face and I feel

    that I’m somebody when I’m nobody


    that I’m something when I’m nothing


    legs are walking. arms are swinging. I’m happy


    I felt nice and I missed the road


    through any road one can be on the right road


    through any road one can make a turn to the wrong road


    it’s got dark. little sisters are shining. my snowflakes