Bog Miroslav Mandić Bog

    You
    are

    416841

    bud

    IF SOMEBODY ASKS ABOUT YOU I’LL TELL THEM ALL ABOUT MYSELF

    1988. day
    11th June 2010

    I’m walking like millions of human beings that were walking

    all these millions of years

     

    in my youth I thought I won’t be able to live if I’m not able to jump

    into the water all my life but then I didn’t know of the beauty of walking

     

    a woman put the leave on her nose

    so that it doesn’t get burnt on the sun

     

    with this spoon you can take a bit of life and drink to the sweet eternity

     

    Miroslav Mandic you shine up on me with your modesty

     

    an old gentleman is coming closer to the wall. an old

    madam is watching the roses that she is passing by

     

    make me richer with your life – says life to every being

     

    on these steps in the woods I was the snow last winter

     

    if I wasn’t living through God You poem

    I would have lived through God You poem

     

    sun is on my bare back

     

    skin is the way towards You

     

    while I’m picking my way through the macadam over which I’m walking

    in my Croc’s shoes I’m thinking of canoes in which I was sailing in my childhood over the calm sea

     

    I feel You sea

     

    through the sun and bare skin I’m on the seaside

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks of all religions

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks of all virtues and ideals

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks of minerals and plants

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks of animals and spirits of nature

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks of people and their customs

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks of higher intelligences

    that bring about smiles on our faces

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks of one and only God

     

    I kiss the vestals and monks because they

    constantly kiss and guard all beings

     

    I bow down to the puddles on the forest path

     

    with this spoon you can scoop up a bit of will

    with which you will encourage yourself to constantly rejoice others

     

    if anybody asks about me I’ll tell them all about myself

     

    if somebody asks about me tell them

    that I’ve just kneeled and kissed the ground

     

    kiss the ground and You will

     

    ground smells of putrefaction and constant birth giving

     

    if somebody asks about me tell them that You have kneeled down

    for the first time in Your life for the joy of all beings

     

    if somebody asks about me tell them that You have

    for the first time on Your knees kissed all beings

     

    if somebody asks about me tell them that

    flies are flying in front of me on the forest path

     

    if somebody asks about me tell them that I can’t live without You

     

    if somebody asks about me tell them that I don’t live but I’m

    singing and kissing Him

     

    IF WE KNEEL DOWN TOGETHER

    1989. day
    12th June 2010

    I

     

    wash Your face with water

     

    smell You through soil

     

    breath You in through air

     

    kiss You by light

     

    saying sorry makes up for everything – I said to the cobbler

    who said he’s sorry because he didn’t finish sewing my sandals yesterday

     

    more and more a lot of the sensations remind me of sensations I already experienced

     

    bees are drinking water from the remaining puddles on the path

    hey remaining puddles

     

    I find Wittgenstein’s last sentence tell them I’ve lived a

    wonderful life more and more wonderful since I also live such a life

     

    grass within me

     

    through my nerves leaves are shimmering

     

    with my steps I’m knitting the silence

     

    with my groin I’m kissing the road

    kiss my thighs

     

    You meander down my spine

     

    if we understand each other in one we will understand each other in everything

     

    if we love-kiss each other in one we will love-kiss each other in everything

     

    if we live for the one the one will live for us

     

    if we love-kiss the same the same will love-kiss us

     

    if we kneel down together we will be one

     

    I picked up a blue stone hot from the sun and I’m holding it on my belly

     

    it’s nice to see two guys on the road having a conversation

     

    when I don’t expect anything everything that is already is here

     

    a woman was coming towards me. on the half of the path a dog barked

    the woman picked a stick up of the ground. frightened the dog

    that’s where we parted and finished our story

     

    I’m sitting at my desk

     

    I’m sweating

     

    listening to rockabilly

     

    I’m drinking Boban Generalovic’s wine

     

    I am the sun and grapes in that wine and blood of all-love

     

    the blood of all-love love-kisses blood circulation that permeates all beings

     

    orgasms are circulating the blood of consciousness

    that is cleaning the Universe from emotional laziness

     

    orgasms of creation are fucking the creation of orgasms

     

    with yellow water flowers – don’t weary on us fucking – don’t give up orgasm of recovery

     

    You

    do

    me

     

     

    HYMN OF ALL BEINGS

    1991. day
    14th June 2010

    enjoy in Yourself – You are adored

     

    in one moment I become You

     

    in next moment You become I

     

    Your absence is so physical

     

    o

    ouch

    h

     

    ouch

    my friend

    just

    kiss

    her

    her

     

    I’m waiting for You with these sentences

     

    eight

     

    I kiss the pussy of every being that at this moment is giving birth to a body of love

     

    I kiss the only pussy

    are first three words of the Hymn of All Beings

     

    wash me up with Your tongue

    is one of the three songs that I wrote yesterday in the Red Notebook

     

    waves are smashing on the rocks

     

    rolling stones are stoning the rolling

     

    I never have enough – I’ve had enough

     

    I’m enjoying the unspoken

     

    I’m silent – I’m walking – I’m kissing

     

    with my back I lean on a tree I lift up left leg and I lean it as well on

    the tree and I’m calmly waiting in the shade for the green light to come on

     

    whenever I go on with some nonsense I feel how existence is rejoicing

     

    universality of a word is found in every word

     

    every word speaks about everything

     

    history of transiency and transiency of history

     

    paradox of history and history of paradox

     

    of his history about her and absence of her history about him

     

    history of history about history of history

     

    history of crimes about the crime of history

     

    history is the peak of tacit

     

    I believe in history of those that don’t believe in histories of last ten thousand years

     

    the one who winks is the history – I wink at the winker of history

     

    I learned more about sex from Foucault’s sex than from his History of Sexuality

     

    I’m sniffing

     

    o

    o h m

    m

     

    I’m singing along

     

    love is constantly sniffing the hymn of all beings

    and is singing it along to everybody’s heart

     

    I AM FIRCHI

    1992. day
    15th June 2010

    56161st blessing of mine – I’m drinking rakia

     

    56162nd blessing of mine – I’m very sad

     

    56163rd blessing of mine – I’m very much alone

     

    56164th blessing of mine – I’m rejoicing because I’m drinking rakia

     

    56165th blessing of mine – I’m rejoicing because I’m writing that I’m very sad

     

    56166th blessing of mine – I’m writing that I’m very much alone

     

    56167th blessing of mine – that is as it is. that should be endured. that should be kissed

     

    56168th blessing of mine – every particle of dust celebrates my loneliness

     

    56169th blessing of mine – dried out boards on the opened doors

    are celebrating my despair

     

    56170th blessing of mine – doors without comeback from

    the misery of the city poor are supporting me being completely pissed off

     

    56171st blessing of mine – abandoned little shop I kiss Your sweat

     

    56172nd blessing of mine – big old linden tree on the corner

    You are the smell of Chubura

     

    56173rd blessing of mine – You turtledove nested on the top of the concrete pillar

     

    56174th blessing of mine – You car tire in the abandoned car shop

     

    56175th blessing of mine – You only left over rose in the dried out rose-bush

     

    56176th blessing of mine – honourable people are gathering

    cardboard boxes on scrappy cart

     

    56177th blessing of mine – wind You are rattling the torn off poster

     

    56178th blessing of mine – high grass next to the gray tin fence

     

    56179th blessing of mine – painted bricks around little window

     

    56180th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia so that I would survive

    my and the despair of all despairs

     

    56181st blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia and I believe

    that I’ll survive the despair

     

    56182nd blessing of mine –I’m drinking You rakia so that I wouldn’t

    deceive anybody in our name

     

    56183rd blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia because I love Firchi of my youth

     

    56184th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia because it’s dangerous to love Firchi

     

    56185th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia because I believe in overdrives

    therefore in Firchi’s as well

     

    56186th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia and I wish love to Firchi

    in his second life

     

    56187th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You Johnny Cash who are acctually singing

    Big River

     

    56188th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia because the irony has drunk

    the brain of the cleaver ones

     

    56189th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia because parental love is deceiving

    the virtues of their children

    I have never met people who became better people after becoming parents

     

    56190th blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia because You rakia

    are surrendering to me deeply

     

    56191st blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia so that I would never give up

     

    56192nd blessing of mine – I’m drinking You rakia because I believe that I will

    transform sadness into joy

     

    fifty six thousand hundred and ninety third

    blessing

    of

    mine

    I’m

    drinking

    you

    immortal

    love

    creates

    immortal

    life

    I’m more and more sad and more and more thankful for every word by which I kiss You – You and all beings –

    Goddess and family of mine

     

     

     

    GLARINGNESS

    1993. day
    16th June 2010

    I’m walking

     

    I’ve bent

     

    my

     

    head down

     

    to Bekim Fehmiu

     

    I’m sitting

     

    at

     

    the table

     

    tears

     

    are

     

    glaring

     

    Bekim Fehmiu

     

    Glaring and Horrifying

     

    glaringness of the decision

     

    glaringness of glaringness

     

    I’m

     

    exhausted

     

    thread

     

    is glaring

     

    I’m trembling

     

    everything

     

    that

     

    isn’t

     

    everything

     

    is

     

    dead

     

    with sky

     

    I’m protecting

     

    the earth

     

    my

     

    innocence

     

    is

     

    free

     

     

    198TH PLANE TREE – 198 BLESSINGS

    1994. day
    17th June 2010

    I love the sentence when it is

     

    wrapped

     

    and

     

    turned

     

    into

     

    beauty

     

    while I’m taking a photo of the remaining plane tree on the Boulevard for which

    people are fighting and with which they are fighting I see that it is

    a plane tree number 198

     

    I lighten up because every week I write 198 blessings

     

    each

    Monday

    Tuesday

    Wednesday

    Thursday

    Friday

    Saturday

    33

    blessings

    trees

    of

    number

    198

    life

     

    for six years now I’ve been living and working with number 198

     

    I’m dancing and singing through numbers

     

    I gurgle-buzz-through-numbers

     

    I’m counting trams

     

    I’m counting fucks

     

    I’m fucking with the immortal one – immortality to all beings

     

    198 blessings for 198th plane tree

     

    coincidences happen more and more to me

     

    encounters

     

    identifying

     

    simultaneous same-identifying

     

    yearning wants to yearn

     

    love wants to love-kiss

     

    all paths are just one path

     

    here

     

    it is

     

    just

     

    go on

     

    it’s

     

    a wing

     

    it’s

     

    concurrence

     

    let’s enjoy

     

    in each other

     

    BEGINNING OF THE MOVING

    1995. day
    18th June 2010

    I’m going into writing

     

    there is no postponing

     

    Violeta will soon come to help me in packing

     

    hundred folders 21x30 cm

     

    around forty fascicles

     

    six folders for smaller drawings

     

    nine folders for a bit bigger drawings

     

    two big folders for big drawings

     

    four tin boxes with running shoes of the Rose of Wandering

     

    ten or so boxes with pictures

     

    another five or six packages with works

     

    nearly two hundred packages with my books

     

    four plastic bags my clothes

     

    two desks

     

    chair for work

     

    three mounting shelves

     

    some nick-knacks from the desk and off the desk

     

    nick-knacks from the floor altar

     

    nick-knacks from the window altar

     

    computer

     

    Branko Popovic will move some of it by car on Sunday

     

    Dejan the carrier will come with two workers on Monday

     

    Jelena Besir will help me during the moving out

    and will stay afterwards to clean up a bit the apartment

     

    Violeta Jovanovic will be helping me during the moving into

    the Nest on Ban’s Hill

     

    the most important is that right away on Monday

    internet works and that the links on my website are not missing

     

    I’m walking – Violeta is packing

     

    I’m theorising the relocation

     

    I’m relocating disagreement into agreement

     

    through agreeing I’m contemplating

     

    I’m contemplating love

     

    I’m kissing contemplation

     

    I’m thinking of the great work of Bekim Fehmiu

    who created from 1987 to 2010 through refusing to be a part of

    the lie and evil and didn’t agree with misusing his acting talent

     

    every day is a struggle for every day

     

     

    LOVE FOR THE MOVING

    1996. day
    19th June 2010

    life loves to be love-kissed

     

    life loves to love-kiss

     

    it’s pouring with rain

     

    Vesna gave me the keys from the Nest

     

    everything that anybody needs is love

     

    I am love

     

    I love to love

     

    I love to be loved

     

    Miroslav Mandic loves me – I love Miroslav Mandic

     

    I love rain – rain loves me

     

    I am love and who are You

     

    if You love-kiss – we are the same

     

    I don’t do anything else but love-kiss

     

    I love-kiss freedom – freedom of love-kissing

     

    I love-kiss everyone who surrenders to the other

     

    God I love-kiss You – love-kiss me Miroslav Mandic – says God to me

     

    through love-kissing I’m God

     

    I love

     

    the one who loves me is loved

     

    the one who loves is justified

     

    Miroslav Mandic couldn’t live if he didn’t love me – love

     

    he would have killed himself if he wasn’t loving – but

     

    Miroslav Mandic same as me love-kisses those who kill themselves

    so that they could carry on love-kissing

     

    my friend – You are one – my friend

     

    one is our wife

     

    one is my husband

     

    I am love – my words are love-kissing

     

    I am one woman – woman to all men

     

    one man – man to all women

     

    I am woman-man to all women-men

     

    I am love to everybody’s love

     

    I am love and my love and Miroslav Mandic’s love are

    the same and the one and only love

     

    love-kiss

    I love-kiss

    love-kiss

    I love-kiss You

    at the last moment I love-kiss the piece of the first moment


    SEEDED – MOVED

    1998. day
    21st June 2010

    last time at the desk in the Little Flat in which I have

    worked and lived from 1st December 2006 till today

     

    I’m watching the green football pitch in front of my window

     

    20:21

    I’m sitting in front of my TV. I’m drinking wine. I’m dictating to Violeta

     

    I’m exhausted. yesterday it took me and Branko two journeys to move all my belonings

    and today I done one more trip with Dejan and his workers

     

    in new Nest still chaotic. and it will be for next couple of days

     

    I’m happy because the moving was successful. but I’m

    sad because I don’t have the internet and I didn’t put anything on my website

    I don’t even know if I’ll manage to do it next few days

     

    that’s inability that makes me sad – inability which I accept

     

    wine is very soothing

     

    Jelena Violeta Branko Dejan and his workers are so soothing

     

    heroes of my moving

     

    I went to the internet café. my laptop is not reacting to the wireless internet

     

    even though I don’t know who the twenty or so people who

    visit my site every day I miss them anyways

     

    we are a kind of wireless connection

     

    just through heart

     

    one heart

     

    I feel nice writing blessings. I do that better

    than moving furniture even though I did a good job of moving

     

    sweat was soaking my t-shirts

     

    I was hoping to wash dirty t-shirts in a washing machine but it’s not working yet either

     

    I made a bed from books

    length – 9 packages

    width – 3 packages

    height – 4 packages

    a bed out of 108 packages of books

     

    here I just discovered that there is no hot water either

    I was pissed off but it is so sweet. goes under the moving

     

    in couple of days it will all be fine. until then it’s my goal

    not to get pissed off. but rather to enjoy everything I don’t do

     

    it’s rather incredible how blessings always work

     

    word calamity is more beautiful than the calamity itself

     

    it’s also interesting to wash yourself with cold water

     

    it’s all the ball that I’m creating and writing

    through which I’m circling already sixth year now

     

    wine is slowly disappearing. day is slowly going by

     

    in these moments the summer is beginning

     

    longest day in the year. gentle outset towards the winter

     

    God is male fucker

     

    God is fucking

     

    God is female fucker

     

    heavy pleasure and silence

     

    fucked

     

    I LOVE YOU MY BELOVED

    1999. day
    22nd June 2010

    18:42

    today as well the whole day in chaos

     

    tiding up the working room and room with my work

     

    today as well I couldn’t do anything in internet cafés

     

    airplanes are flying over Ban’s Hill

    fly dashing ones

     

    I got wet in the rain and I was sad because I didn’t out put anything on my website

    yesterday nor today

     

    but I felt nice outside

     

    rain drops on grass blades

     

    faces of all people here are unknown to me

     

    tonight as well I’m drinking wine in order to survive the sorrow

    even though I’m even more sad after the wine

     

    I’m thinking of the Fernando Pessoa’s drunkenness

    happily sad

     

    until a moment ago I was listening to Billie Holiday now I’m listening to Cesaria Evora

     

    I remember how I loved certain women

     

    loneliness is so sexual

     

    I’m listening to Charles Mingus

     

    I’m excited by good beings

     

    I’m tired – my eyes are closing

     

    I have on my desk three live-forever plants that Vesna Lopicic gave me

     

    I can hear the rain – I’m with myself

     

    knowing that somebody will read my words when I put them on the

    internet makes the words sexy paths and unfuckable bridges

     

    I peeled off two cucumbers with the potato peeler

     

    I sliced four tomatoes

     

    bread. a bag of tartar sauce. a bag of mayonnaise and loyal margarine

    are waiting for me

     

    wine is giving strength – I’m loyal to ecstasies

     

    yearning is a skin that wants to set itself free of itself

     

    light-like sexuality

     

    great lovers – consciousness and conscience

     

    I love-kiss you my work desks

     

    I am the presence of all beings that have ever lived

     

    I am all younglings that is getting born at this moment

     

    I just love-kiss You – fuck me God fuck me

     

    wow how beautiful it is – beauty I’ll never betray You

     

    wow how good it is – good I will constantly love-kiss You

     

    1999th day of Miroslav Mandic book is expiring

    I just got a call from mister Srdjan Valjarevic who wanted to see how I was and to wish me all the best

     

    TWO THOUSANDTH DAY

    2000. day
    23rd June 2010

    two thousand days ago I started to write Miroslav Mandic book

     

    I didn’t get half way yet

     

    in the spring of next year I will be half way

     

    morning of the two thousandth day is passing in hope that today in my ex Little Flat

    that is empty I will be able to put things on the web-site from Monday and Tuesday

     

    I’m in the Little Flat. on the internet. I hope that I’ll be in the position

    to put things on the web-site

     

    I will be assisting myself like this until next Sunday when the new Nest gets the

    modem for internet and until washing machine starts working and hot water running

     

    I will be coming here in the Little Flat every day to put things on the web-site

    then I will be sending them to Ivana in Scotland for translation

    although that also will be a bit late

     

    I’ve put it. I’m relieved...

     

    18:42

    I’m tired from walking over the city hills

     

    I walked with Jelena Besir from Ada to the Red Cross

     

    I stepped into the mud after the hippodrome. we have passed through the greenery

    full of rich houses. we picked up apricots from the ground. we lost the blue shirt

    I’m tired from going up-hills. that will be from now on – to cross them patiently

     

    I’m more peaceful because I managed to put things on the web-site

     

    Robin helped me

     

    machines are such good and servile creatures

     

    days are flying by

     

    two thousand days in creating a book

     

    it’s a white book – a book of red strawberries

     

    a book of all beings – a book of pebbles – God’s book

     

    a book that constantly twirls and kisses

     

    a book that fucks with all beings

     

    a book prayer

     

    i just love You

     

    everything I say – book sings. everything that book says – I am

     

    thighs in thighs – swear-words in prayers

     

    I think of all horses that have transported people and their needs for thousands of years

     

    I kiss every mare and every horse

     

    I am a mare – a horse and a mare within me

    I am a horse – a mare and a horse within me

     

    it was very exciting to write this sexy book these two thousand days

    everybody who love-kisses rocks

     

    I think of letting somebody know about it but as always I don’t have who to do it with

     

    because there is nobody I believe even more in You my beloved

     

    if I could hyperlink it I would have hyperlinked John Hammond who I’m listening to

    hyperlink me beloved

     

    female singers are the most loyal male fuckers

    male singers are the most loyal female fuckers

     

    female fuckers vestals. male fuckers wanderers

     

    vestals and wanderers are five and a half year old children of two thousandth day

    female fuckers and male fuckers

    of

    joy

    health

    freedom

    transformation

    loyalty

    love

    creation


     

    TWO THOUSAND AND ONE DAYS

    2001. day
    24th June 2010

    miracle happened and it’s called Two Thousand and One Days

     

    even though I never met people who become better people after becoming parents

    I constantly live from the love of the grass that love-kiss with all-parental love

     

    stones love-kiss to the pain

     

    kisses love-kiss to the resurrection

     

    unnoticed love-kiss through the music of bonding

     

    bonding is one and only breathing through which Universe love-kisses God

     

    I started going towards the Little Flat. I’m mentally tired

     

    one-two years ago I’ve noticed I’m weakening mentally

     

    instead in one pocket I put something in another

     

    instead putting this thing here and that one over there I inverse it

     

    all that worries me a bit but it also makes me laugh

     

    while I’m walking it’s a lot better

     

    in the new Nest things are different and they’re still not functioning which disturbs me

     

    I’ll need some time to get used to the new routes and routines that will guard me

     

    this time through the woods to the Topcider graveyard gives me strength

     

    for few days now I haven’t prayed

     

    I haven’t been stretching myself nor working out

     

    reality has caught me and spun me

     

    prayer don’t leave me

     

    Two Thousand and One Days is a brother of One Thousand and One Nights

     

    I always wanted to have an older sister

     

    now that I became Two Thousand and One Days

    One Thousand and One Nights is my older sister

     

    One Thousand and One Nights are stories. Two Thousand and One Days is a poem

     

    we will lose a million kilos of nerves and we won’t do anything – says one man to another

     

    worker is cutting the grass on the football pitch

     

    I feel nice in the empty apartment

     

    there is 9 kilometres and six hundred meters from the Nest to the Little Flat

    I walked two hours and ten minutes

     

    when I put things on the web-site there is as much back

     

    I’m tired but I’ll feel good going back because I’ll just walk

     

    I won’t be thinking of anything because I’ve put everything on the web-site

     

    I’ll enjoy the sister

     

    I’ll be a good brother to her

     

    kiss my brain

    I ADMIRE PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING HARD LABOUR

    2002. day
    25th June 2010

    I’m repeating like old trees

     

    through the tranquillity of thousand years old trunks

     

    forests

    forest

     

    forests

    through every

    little hair

    of yours

     

    forests are foresting through every decision

     

    I’m looking forward to the new Nest

     

    this is the first indistinct invitation for a new Nest

     

    I am a path

     

    I’m on the path. there is nobody

     

    chaos of the moving is lesser and immediately I feel better in my head

     

    I’m constantly walking towards You

     

    I’m constantly walking within You

     

    You are constantly walking towards me

     

    You are constantly walking within me

     

    we are walking

     

    immortal we are walking immortality

     

    yesterday my beggar woman Ruzica told me that Sanja has finished first grade

    she was excellent with only one B since she didn’t know how to write number one

     

    here I’d love to have a car like this so that I can crash into those who get on

    my nerves – a mannish girl says to her girl friend

     

    this walking to the Little Flat with the laptop on my shoulder

    is the service to the words and web-site

     

    admiration for the movers

     

    I think of the bag carriers

     

    I admire people who are doing hard labour

     

    I think of burlaks who were pulling the ships

     

    I bought a cheap clock for the room so that I can see it from the bed. from the seller

    I also got a wire with which I’ll hang the frame for a mirror that I’ll buy on my way back

     

    I’d love to buy a juicer to make juices from fruit and vegetables every day

    instead of the lunches

     

    juice

     

    eye

     

    lips

     

    I’m looking forward to You

     

    I’m looking at Your face

     

    You are the part of my words that are writing to You

     

    something so simple every word... every face... is telling about

     

    tranquillity of heart

     

    YESTERDAY LIVES FOR TODAY. TODAY LIVES FOR YESTERDAY. TODAY LIVES FOR TOMORROW

    2003. day
    26th June 2010


    I always wanted to be You

     

    becoming You I became I

     

    You want to become I and that’s how You become I

     

    I is Yours and mine sex

     

    we are joined in I

     

    we are love-kissed in I

     

    we are everything in I

     

    we are God in I

     

    we are Goddess in I

     

    we are one God in I

     

    through God You are my Goddess my God

     

    I’m walking with Your bones

     

    I is mine as much as it is Yours

     

    Yours as much as is the burnt match

     

    I love to write so much that the whole Universe is enjoying in Your reading

     

    Universe adores tame ones

     

    all beings are surrendering to the supple ones

     

    rivers are flowing towards seas

     

    waves are kissing particles

     

    particles are particles

     

    while I’m entering the Nest building on Ban’s Hill. while I’m staying in the Nest. while I’m

    working and listening to music – a bit louder – of the beloved Bud

    I wouldn’t like to hurt anybody

     

    just be – You are the most beautiful woman

     

    I dreamt about You just before the dawn my beloved

     

    through You I’m created

     

    Your spine is my blood

     

    Your yearning is my freedom

     

    Your juices are my drink

     

    Your life is my art

     

    Your death is immortal love that is resurrecting all beings

     

    Your death is eternal life of beauty and kindness through which all beings are living

     

    I live because I died and I’m dying within You

     

    You are singing me – I am a poem

     

    You are love-kissing – I am love

    hug each other hug

     

     

     

    PUSSY MY NEST – MUSIC MY CHILDREN

    2005. day
    28th June 2010

    sex

     

    path

     

    innocent ones

     

    those dedicated to all beings

     

    those loyal to the life itself through the sex of life

     

    don’t kill my sex – You are killing my life

     

    don’t be killing Yourself – You are killing your sex

     

    I kiss Your fears with which You are hurting me

     

    I kiss Your aggressiveness through which You humiliate me

     

    I kiss Your yearning for domination through which You annul me

     

    I kiss Your struggle with Yourself through which I forgive You everything

     

    pebble

     

    I kiss You pebble

     

    I’m walking for Tom Gotovac

     

    through this walking Tom didn’t die on Friday

    but he resurrects through the nakedness of every being

     

    I’m walking slowly on this warm cloudy day

     

    alone for everybody

     

    save me in Your pussy my beloved

    dedicated to Amra who backed me up in swearing

     

    swearing – holly caressing

     

    celebrate me with Your pussy

    dedicated to innocence

     

    Your pussy is my museum

     

    Your pussy is my library

     

    Your pussy is my Nest

     

    save my yearning for You in Your beautiful pussy

     

    I wouldn’t have existed if I wasn’t celebrating Your pussy

     

    I wouldn’t be singing if I wasn’t creating a garden of love from Your pussy

     

    Universe is the pussy of all beings

     

    I want only You

     

    I yearn only for You

     

    only through You I am

     

    I am a gigolo to all beings

     

    gigolo through joy

    gigolo through health

    gigolo through freedom

    gigolo through transformation

    gigolo through loyalty

    gigolo through love

    gigolo through success

     

    gig

    God


     

    BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO – VAN GOGH’S LAST WORDS

    2006. day
    29th June 2010

    miracle

    particle

    sings

    this

    poem

     

    particles are transferring love through waves

     

    last night the cable internet didn’t start working but

    Rore helped me so I got connected through the AirPort

     

    it was a relief to see photos that are coming to me through Netwibes programme

     

    it was such a pleasure to listen to the music through iTunes

     

    but the greatest joy gave me the neighbour on whose doors I knocked

    to tell her that I hope my music listening won’t disturb her and she said

    politely that they have a baby but that I shouldn’t worry

     

    but from this morning nobody is using their wireless internet so I could not connect

     

    that disturbed me and immediately

    I forgot to turn off the ring on the stove after making a tea

     

    I’m going to the Little Flat to give the keys back to Slavica Generalovic

     

    a man in the parked car is drinking juice

    noticing the other sets me free from myself

     

    complications with internet have tired me out

     

    human society abuses the life itself

     

    I just parted from Slavica Generalovic. I thought

    that Slavica will give me back 250 Euros deposit that I gave her

    before getting into the apartment but according to Slavica I owe her another 75

    I think she is not right. I’ll give her the money tomorrow

     

    I proved myself once more – I don’t have a clue about this kind of life

     

    fool within me help me bare all these humiliations

     

    on the crossroads I tripped and I could have fallen under the car

     

    people are justifying their selfishness and crudeness

    with their kids that they have to feed and educate

     

    I’m lifting my head towards the wind – I’m kissing all beings

     

    in all beings are their kids as well and in

    their kids there is nobody but them and their kids

     

    I’m thanking the temptations because they are encouraging my tranquillity

     

    I kiss You tranquil ones You have been and You are still saving the word

    with Your tranquillity

     

    I just remembered how in my childhood I was taking hard problems which

    we had with the landlord and the landlord with us. that scared me and I was disgusted

    with that. that is one of the things that made me choose

    the poetical dwelling in this world

     

    I wink at the ball which I’m throwing in the air

     

    everything I do and I am is so that I could kiss and create something to all beings

     

    most of the people are so that they could work and make money

     

    if children would know that many of their parents are doing harm so that they could

    feed and educate them many kids would escape their parents

    or they would kill themselves

     

    people say that evolution is taking place over the strong ones but it’s even more obvious

    that it is propagated by the strong

     

    God-becoming becomes through kissing

     

    19:31

    I’ve been told that the internet repairman will come in the afternoon. I’m waiting for him

    all the time but he’s still not here. I can’t connect through the wireless

    and I didn’t buy any food because I wanted internet to be fixed first

     

    desperate humour – humour of despair

     

    I bought food

     

    God knows what is all of this good for

     

    I kiss the runaway kids

    20:58 – I connected through wireless


     

    JUNE HAS PASSED – TWO THOUSAND KILOMETRES OF THE FIRST TIME SECOND TEN YEAR WALKING

    2007. day
    30th June 2010

    today on the fifth kilometre I will get to the

    2000th kilometre of the First Time Second Ten Year Walking

     

    10:22

    I drank two coffees. put on the site residual English translations – from this morning

    I’m connected through the wireless. I’m lost. I still didn’t draw 64 Buds and Blue Rose

     

    I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed to curl up and at least renew a bit...

     

    13:10

    ...I’m outside. slowed down. broken

     

    as always when it’s hard the most important thing is that I don’t betray

     

    not to forget that a lot of others have it a lot harder

     

    not to wound and tear up the fragility

     

    I’m slowly going through the park and watching people

    I’m starting to love-kiss them and I already feel a lot better

     

    it’s warm and this wind is pleasant

     

    bees are flying around the tree top of the big linden tree

     

    I’m walking pass the Ada beach. the smell of almond oil is spreading from the

    bodies of the female swimmers

     

    I made the photo of the step on the two thousandth kilometre

     

    I’m thinking of the photo of Frantz Kafka on the beach and his

    need to be happy and fears that were constantly following him

     

    I rejoiced the clouds that I saw on the windscreen of the big truck

     

    19:38

    I’m on the internet. repairmen came. they connected me. I’m happy like a child

     

    smell of the washed laundry is spreading from the balcony through the open

    window on which I yesterday put the mosquito net

     

    Rockabilly Radio fills my heart. happy child is the home to the runaway kids

     

    runaway kids are the wanderers of light

     

    runaway kids are calming down the brains of the adult

     

    runaway kids are writing these words

     

    June is passing by

     

    hey – hey You – we have crossed two thousand out of forty

    thousand kilometres of the First Time Second Ten Year Walking

     

    last night while selling me the herbal cheese the sales-woman

    asked is today more or less than yesterday. yesterday was 195 and today

    220 grams I answered and said thank you for remembering me

    she is one of the first ones to welcome me on Ban’s Hill

     

    grass is welcoming

     

    I love-kiss You love

     

    this is a celebration of the gentleman at the desk light up by the computer screen

    light while one ant is making him company going between the letters on his keyboard

     

    ant

     

    sanctity

     

    signal of the immortality

     

    every heart contains the heart of the other being

     

    every mind contains the mind of all beings

     

    this evening I was writing in ant’s language

     

    June has passed

     

     

    I AM THE BUD OF THE NEW MONEY

    2008. day
    1st July 2010

    with these words Arthur Rimbaud is resurrecting

     

    writing is resurrecting

     

    writing is love that writes itself

     

    writing is humiliation through which poetry is feeding itself

     

    humiliation love-kisses through poetry

     

    humiliated are singing most fuckably

     

    I’ve always wanted to write only what are writing all of those who are writing

     

    this fuckable this

     

    with this one

     

    I’m passing through Topcider graveyard. the smell

    and the heat remind me of 15th August 1958

     

    I lifted both hands and I’m touching the leaves underneath which I’m passing

     

    exhaustions with heat are beginning. maybe I’ll swim for the first time tomorrow

     

    one step is my fin second step is my wing

     

    I swim walk fly

     

    water earth air

     

    I put my hand on the Atlantic ocean on my little globe

     

    ocean me

     

    through these words Lautreamont resurrects

     

    through these words killed ones resurrect

     

    youth is running through the veins of existence

    existence is feeding of the sacrificed youth

     

    Universe love-kisses those who are not betraying it

     

    apricots are ripening

     

    I am loyalty

     

    just you look at me and get inside of me I am the river that is flowing for You

     

    I am the bud of new money – flowering of the orgasmic economy

     

    orgasm is freedom – source and confluence of orgasm

     

    orgasmic economy is an economy of transformation

     

    grass blade

     

    two grass blades

     

    path and clouds

     

    life lives through death

     

    life resurrects through love

     

    through these words Otto Weininger is resurrecting

     

    FIRST SWIMMING OF THIS YEAR

    2009. day
    2nd July 2010

    nobody so far hasn’t started to believe me – that is so sad – that is so liberating

     

    alone

    to everybody

    to everything

     

    I came down from the hill. I’m going through the woods. this is the

    shortest way to Ada. a lake around which I will often be walking

     

    this privilege to walk besides the water with bare chest

    I dedicate to the ones who are imprisoned in hospitals madhouses and jails

     

    I was in the water – I was in God

     

    I’m sitting at the desk – I’m in God

     

    always in God. always with God. always God

     

    I walked 14.7 kilometres. sun and water have drained me

     

    I crossed Sava on the boat and went there and back

     

    walked around the lake

     

    I will go every day to swim – that is the great

    duty – being in water – love-kissing the water and celebrating it

     

    I use every moment to enjoy God

     

    I enjoy writing – writing enjoys me

     

    I’m wiping Bud’s screen with a cloth

     

    I love word screen

     

    I am a screen on freedom – freedom lives in hearts of the threatened ones

     

    every word of mine is filling the batteries of the down in ones

     

    every word of mine is protection to the marked ones

     

    every word of mine is protection of the outlaws

     

    every word of mine is protection of exactly this humour

     

    I saw one chicken today

     

    being in the water is a way towards the air

     

    being in the air is a way towards the light

     

    being in the light is the way towards the trembles of my body

    through which I’m listening to this song

     

    I also saw ten or so goats

     

    I saw a big cut tree trunk

     

    I saw few lonesome women and several lonesome men

     

    I am a builder of the rocket ramps in the heart of every being

     

    poem is setting art free of non-freedom

     

    art is setting poem free of servility

     

    I picked up two pebbles for two new altars in the Nest

     

    that would be it – sanctuary of meaningless

     

    that would be it – it that is everything

     

    I’M PRACTICING MY CONSCIOUSNESS – I’M SINGING TO GOD

    2010. day
    3rd July 2010

      freedom equality and brotherhood has fallen apart and turned into


     

    liberalism communism and fascism

     

    liberals are doing everything for money and they are

    secretly killing anyone who jeopardizes their money increasing

     

    communists are doing everything for equality under their measure

    and they are killing in combats

     

    fascists are doing everything for unity and they are killing

    publically anyone who is against their unity

     

    it’s forbidden for a man to kill but it’s

    allowed to kill in the name of freedom equality and brotherhood

     

    not only he/she is allowed to kill but also encouraged

    and very much praised and respected

     

    killing bother’s children. killing members of another tribe

    killing in the name of God. killing because of the territories. killing for food

    killing for fast internet. killing for the club. killing for the motherland

     

    anything that is created through killing leads to the killing and death

     

    don’t kill me – love-kiss me – I love You

     

    I’m walking so as nobody would kill anybody

     

    I’m walking for a whole

     

    I heal You whole

     

    wholeness heal us

     

    I saw Jelena Besir. she gave me the money for the Ruza and Milos Bud

     

    I was in water – I was – in tears of joy

     

    in the woods I noticed that I’ve lost my mobile phone. I quickly came

    back and found it on the place I changed wet swimming pants

     

    in the Nest the e-mail from Amica waited for me and rejoiced me

    Amica is the new name for Anica

     

    I still feel the sun on my skin and water on my body

     

    last year my ears hurt me for the first time after swimming. if they don’t hurt me this

    year I’ll be swimming as much as possible and I would love to swim even more than that

     

    I’ll be swimming the same way crystals are swimming in themselves

     

    here am I for You

     

    I am a footballer of all languages

     

    language is God’s and it belongs to every being

     

    whoever abuses language they are abusing God

     

    language is the wings of the butterfly

     

    language is the anal muscles of all beings

     

    language is everyone who is language

     

    singing swims the language of walking

     

    language of walking is taking an oath to every particle

     

    your

    pussy

    is

    divine

    love

     

    I’m singing consciousness – I’m creating through God

     

    I’m supporting the non-current and currency of supporting

     

    y

    a

    e

    r

    n

    i

    n

    g

    y  e  a  r  n  i  n  g      each other      g  n  i  n  r  e  a  y

    g

    n

    i

    n

    r

    e

    a

    y

     

     

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